For many Christians, the issue of suffering is seen in variant and life changing ways. For myself, when I was a Christian, I looked inside my own heart when every scenario of suffering came up. Whether it was financial problems, illness, losing a loved one or emotional suffering, it always led to a "spiritual checkup."
It was a fine line between the following scenario:
"No, I do not think there is sin in my life"
and
"This must have happened, in part, because of my mistakes."
Sensitivity to sin was seen as the best way to ward off this constant questioning during trial. If sin was taken care of, the answer to the trial was patience, long-suffering love and waiting on God.
It is easy for Christians to present the "Holy Spirit" as an ethereal powerful being. In fact, even after feeling a warm feeling and affirmation of faith, I did not "feel" the holy spirit. I knew certain sins were in fact sin because that's what I was told. Black and white and no grey area. Don't compromise or the actual pull of the temptation will lead into the sin. That experience is called "the power of the spirit, convicting us of sin."
For years, that's how I trained my mind to deal with everything from the weather outside to the events in my life. An arbitrary feeling (in myself) trained by Christian talk-show hosts, my pastors, Sunday School and books that I had read. It was as ethereal as that. Meaning... not at all.
There were other problems with the way I was dealing with tragedy.
I didn't realize it, but I was deeply depressed. I would go through ruts in my life where I cried every time I was alone. I felt an awful sense of failure and had almost no self esteem. And when tragedy happened, I was beat myself up further. Harder... down into a pile of deeper sadness.
Tied to this depression was the overarching theme of the New Testament and commentators about Jesus dying for my sin. My responsibility... my fault... because of me...
My mom died in July of 2010 and there was little solitude. Going through a difficult marriage I felt worse about myself. Beaten down by life, I sunk to deeper lows and was just getting by. I found no solace in God or the bible. It was black and white, cold and impersonal to my situation. And yet, it was all I had. Because that delicate balance had to continue, or I would assured that the suffering that was going on, would be my own fault because of sin.
I have often described my de-conversion as a slow waking up from a terminal illness. And I think that's still appropriate. But I would rather say, my fight with depression has been like waking up from that diagnosis and religion was one of the remedies that my doctors has prescribed for the sickness. The slow journey towards treatment, medication, self-care, self awareness and historical study moved me into a position where I was living my life. I was not being controlled or judged by a set of moral codes or the centuries of commentary on that code. I was facing things head on.
The last few years, I have still fought depression and tried to face the world as best I can. Tragedy and problems are a constant. But I notice they happen at the same interval and probability as they did while I was a Christian (go figure.) My mistakes are certainly there in the open, but I do not look to cultural morays from the 1st century while considering the "why" and "how." I look to common sense and the perspective that scientific study and counseling can bring. I don't look to my "sexual sin" or my "greed" or "selfishness." I see my actions laid out and judge them for myself.
Going through grief without God has been the most satisfying way I've dealt with death in the past. Not "see you in heaven," but rather a process of remembering, talking about the person, warming my days with the memory of their presence and keeping them alive in my heart. It is the only place a deceased person has existence, in the heart of others. And that is a beautiful place! Remembering and celebrating, not blaming or hurting because of their "destination." It is a beautiful thing when we say goodbye and know in our mind where they are, as billions of people have done laying those to rest.
So hard times and atheism are not counterintuitive. It might be the best way to go through them.
Monday, August 26, 2019
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
The persecuted Christian
In the mind of many evangelical Christians, a chasm of unknown separates the church from the rest of the world. The doors of the church signify a haven and a space where Christ can be praised without ridicule. Praises, prayers and fellowship, without the judging looks from non-believers... Yes, everyone that is not a born-again Christian is in that category.
The name of the great hall in my church is a valid representation of what that church meant: a sanctuary. A place where God's word can be read and no one can silence it. From this mindset, the prayers are lifted up for the sanctuary to spread to other places where Christ should be praised. Schools and workplaces, courthouses and public spaces. Without hatred for the word of God, without mocking for the laws of the almighty.
Dark and light.
Blessed and cursed.
Eyes open and eyes shut.
Alive and dead.
All those are the most common ways Christians portray themselves versus the world. A domain controlled by the Prince of lies, so hostile to God because of their love of sin and vice. And ready to call out like sirens for weak minded Christians, to fill them up with lies, godlessness and addiction.
The world taints, spoils, soils, infects and will spread from person to person without the full armor of God on!
This is the mindset that so many people have about their Christian identity. A world hostile to God for selfish reasons. And as they go out into the world and interact, it is always with a "holier than thou" attitude because they truly believe that the world is in chaos without their leading. So brainwashed that they cannot imagine a world with a natural order and relative morality. Without the bible... what do you have!
The delusions goes deeper than even that. The us versus them takes on a mythical historical view with God's elect holy men founding this nation on the bedrock of the bible. That is why the constitution is seen as holy and untouchable. That's why they cling to guns and bible. Although that same constitution failed to see the evil of slavery, it is perfectly founded on the ten commandments...
A clouded history appears of the United States as some sort of holy experiment. And make no mistake, God's blessing is on the United States and will only be taken away if the wickedness of people continues. What is the wickedness that God sees and is so infuriated by? Abortion... and abortion alone. He will not bless this nation (as he has) with the stench of abortion in his nostrils. He will not tolerate his holy constitution being trampled on.
In the minds of so many Christians, the word of God is intertwined with the constitution and you cannot attack one without attacking the other. And it has been the sacred duty of the church in this country to uphold both. Lest god take his protection away... Lest he smite the land as he did in the Old Testament. And do remember, Jesus is coming back so very soon... and will punish those who did not stand for him.
I am writing this so you understand the bubble. So you understand when you see the term evangelical, fundamentalist, "quiverful," etc. you will realize that this is not simply about going to a church once a week and singing songs... It is about power and a "return" to some sort of imagined past position of power in this country. I say return because the fundamentalist position was never the seat of government and it certainly was the not the position of the founders, many of whom were deists only.
The entire future of humanity depends on the world finding Christ and adhering the laws to his statutes as "written" in the English King James Bible. The future of this country will only find blessing with the removal of all laws that inhibit the sanctuary of the church from spreading into every facet of life. Whether sinners like it or not, they will hear the Word of God, see the ten commandments and allow Christian doctrine to become law in this land.
What if they resist? Then they are persecuting us.
Yes! persecuting the peaceful people of God with Satanic hate and vitriol. Spreading hate speech against love and silencing those who are simply sharing God's gentle message of apocalyptic love and sweet voice of a hell-bound eternity.
"They tried to shame me into accepting their same sex marriage!
They tried to force contraception on me!
They put a song on the radio that said a questionable word and I'll never be the same!"
Because their book sees the world in a dualist battle, everything is a battle! Guns, sex, music, marriage, abortion... it is all a battleground A fight until the world looks like the safe haven inside the sanctuary. The persecution that they claim is any little thing that makes them uncomfortable and makes them feel like they are not inside the four walls of the church. Because that's how it should be!
That is exactly why Christians do not see their push for religiously minded laws as persecuting regular people. Mandating from the bible should be the status quo in their eyes. It makes them comfortable in this chaotic world and gives them peace so it must be right! It must be good for all! And if you disagree? That is the definition of persecution. Not allowing Christians to be comfortable, safe or validated in their bigotry and ignorance.
The world is black and white. The laws are simple and old as time. And if they are natural to you, no wonder! You are a lost sinner, in need of God's grace! Come to Christ, so that you can feel persecuted for everything you don't agree with. So you can huddle, fear the world, hate anyone different and pray for the world's end.
The name of the great hall in my church is a valid representation of what that church meant: a sanctuary. A place where God's word can be read and no one can silence it. From this mindset, the prayers are lifted up for the sanctuary to spread to other places where Christ should be praised. Schools and workplaces, courthouses and public spaces. Without hatred for the word of God, without mocking for the laws of the almighty.
Dark and light.
Blessed and cursed.
Eyes open and eyes shut.
Alive and dead.
All those are the most common ways Christians portray themselves versus the world. A domain controlled by the Prince of lies, so hostile to God because of their love of sin and vice. And ready to call out like sirens for weak minded Christians, to fill them up with lies, godlessness and addiction.
The world taints, spoils, soils, infects and will spread from person to person without the full armor of God on!
This is the mindset that so many people have about their Christian identity. A world hostile to God for selfish reasons. And as they go out into the world and interact, it is always with a "holier than thou" attitude because they truly believe that the world is in chaos without their leading. So brainwashed that they cannot imagine a world with a natural order and relative morality. Without the bible... what do you have!
The delusions goes deeper than even that. The us versus them takes on a mythical historical view with God's elect holy men founding this nation on the bedrock of the bible. That is why the constitution is seen as holy and untouchable. That's why they cling to guns and bible. Although that same constitution failed to see the evil of slavery, it is perfectly founded on the ten commandments...
A clouded history appears of the United States as some sort of holy experiment. And make no mistake, God's blessing is on the United States and will only be taken away if the wickedness of people continues. What is the wickedness that God sees and is so infuriated by? Abortion... and abortion alone. He will not bless this nation (as he has) with the stench of abortion in his nostrils. He will not tolerate his holy constitution being trampled on.
In the minds of so many Christians, the word of God is intertwined with the constitution and you cannot attack one without attacking the other. And it has been the sacred duty of the church in this country to uphold both. Lest god take his protection away... Lest he smite the land as he did in the Old Testament. And do remember, Jesus is coming back so very soon... and will punish those who did not stand for him.
I am writing this so you understand the bubble. So you understand when you see the term evangelical, fundamentalist, "quiverful," etc. you will realize that this is not simply about going to a church once a week and singing songs... It is about power and a "return" to some sort of imagined past position of power in this country. I say return because the fundamentalist position was never the seat of government and it certainly was the not the position of the founders, many of whom were deists only.
The entire future of humanity depends on the world finding Christ and adhering the laws to his statutes as "written" in the English King James Bible. The future of this country will only find blessing with the removal of all laws that inhibit the sanctuary of the church from spreading into every facet of life. Whether sinners like it or not, they will hear the Word of God, see the ten commandments and allow Christian doctrine to become law in this land.
What if they resist? Then they are persecuting us.
Yes! persecuting the peaceful people of God with Satanic hate and vitriol. Spreading hate speech against love and silencing those who are simply sharing God's gentle message of apocalyptic love and sweet voice of a hell-bound eternity.
"They tried to shame me into accepting their same sex marriage!
They tried to force contraception on me!
They put a song on the radio that said a questionable word and I'll never be the same!"
Because their book sees the world in a dualist battle, everything is a battle! Guns, sex, music, marriage, abortion... it is all a battleground A fight until the world looks like the safe haven inside the sanctuary. The persecution that they claim is any little thing that makes them uncomfortable and makes them feel like they are not inside the four walls of the church. Because that's how it should be!
That is exactly why Christians do not see their push for religiously minded laws as persecuting regular people. Mandating from the bible should be the status quo in their eyes. It makes them comfortable in this chaotic world and gives them peace so it must be right! It must be good for all! And if you disagree? That is the definition of persecution. Not allowing Christians to be comfortable, safe or validated in their bigotry and ignorance.
The world is black and white. The laws are simple and old as time. And if they are natural to you, no wonder! You are a lost sinner, in need of God's grace! Come to Christ, so that you can feel persecuted for everything you don't agree with. So you can huddle, fear the world, hate anyone different and pray for the world's end.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
The buzzword of Abortion
For the evangelical Christian, history has a different meaning.
It stretches back to the Old Testament where it claims that God blesses Israel or curses Israel based on the obedience of it's people.
It does not match with what we know about history. We know Israel was a small area whose monotheism was born out of prior polytheism. Because of the real major geopolitical players in the area (Egypt, Babylon) it was tossed around over time because it was simply smaller and less important.
It is a false story... that is perpetuated in the minds of Americans in particular.
God's blessing.
The same is said of the Roman Empire. Evangelical Christians have the perfect answer to why this grand Empire fell. And it certainly isn't that Christianity itself weakened the state. It has to do with the Empire becoming decadent and God punished them because of same sex attraction...
"The seesaw of blessing" is always used (after the fact) to explain away complicated events. God turns his back on a Nation and they fall. They obey him and they are boosted up.
Christians are great propagandists. And it follows from a belief (in America) that somehow we are some sort of holy experiment.
Nothing could be further from the truth. That's not how history works. It does not fit together on that seesaw.
I sat in the pew every "Sanctity of Human-life" Sunday with others listening to the declarations of how God was taking away his blessing from the United States. Abortion had angered God so much that he would break up this nation... it was the greatest evil in the history of our nation.
Wait... abortion is not new. Abortion is an old practice.
The historian in me was enraged. Had God taken his blessing away when Native tribes were decimated by disease and swindled out of land? How about when their innocent members were sold into Slavery in the Caribbean after King Philip's War?
From the earliest colonies, African labor built this nation. The horrors of the middle passage, the brutality of the business and the way every person profited from it. Investors, insurance, bankers, anyone who drank rum or wore cotton... all provided by the blood and sweat of slaves. Whipped in the hot sun, raped and torn away from family members. And God stood with an approving smirk?
The oppression of women over centuries in America. Withholding property rights, allowing brutality because it happened in marriage. No say, no equality. For centuries. And God did not "take his glory away."
The fear of every African-American, although freed from slavery on paper, still subservient and now a part of a tightly controlled Jim Crow south. Can you hear Billie Holiday's cry:
"Southern trees bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees."
My church had no celebration for the end of slavery, or celebrating what pastors and their congregations accomplished in the civil rights era. They never openly decried racism. They never mentioned lynching.
Or the fact that in all these Supreme Court cases and decisions, the evangelical church had written amicus briefs on the side of the White Supremacists and the status quo.
But abortion.
That is the buzzword that keeps things moving. It signifies the sign in society that the church is losing control.
It is all about control. Can you hear it? Mike Pence speaking at Liberty University, talking about being "ridiculed" for their faith. Perhaps for their stand on abortion. their stand on different subjects that put them in conflict.
Does he feel how hard it is to be LGBTQA+ in communities that are predominantly evangelical Christians?
Does he know how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship and find out you are pregnant? Or to be taken advantage of by someone in your life? And carry that baby to term?
Does he know what its like to truly feel different? Real discrimination and ridicule because of the color of his skin or gender?
Abortion is all about controlling that most intimate part of each person. It declares a worldview is present and protection must be given at the expense of everything else because? His God knows better. And he'll punish this nation.
No, that's a rouse. Its a red herring. It is the definition of bullshit.
God is losing. God is fading from the mythologized history of our founding and the lies we have heard of our standards.
More than even that. For the first time, the church is seen in context. Exposed. As what they are.
Psychologically damaging. Morally repugnant. Socially harmful. Invading on every privacy and desperate to grasp at some control. And they are grasping for the uterus. Grabbing at it as a last ditch effort of misinformation. Hoping that they can keep in politics, keep relevant and remain current in a world that has passed them by.
Throwing out lies and fear tactics that I once to feared. Now I stare at them in the face. And cry "bullshit."
It stretches back to the Old Testament where it claims that God blesses Israel or curses Israel based on the obedience of it's people.
It does not match with what we know about history. We know Israel was a small area whose monotheism was born out of prior polytheism. Because of the real major geopolitical players in the area (Egypt, Babylon) it was tossed around over time because it was simply smaller and less important.
It is a false story... that is perpetuated in the minds of Americans in particular.
God's blessing.
The same is said of the Roman Empire. Evangelical Christians have the perfect answer to why this grand Empire fell. And it certainly isn't that Christianity itself weakened the state. It has to do with the Empire becoming decadent and God punished them because of same sex attraction...
"The seesaw of blessing" is always used (after the fact) to explain away complicated events. God turns his back on a Nation and they fall. They obey him and they are boosted up.
Christians are great propagandists. And it follows from a belief (in America) that somehow we are some sort of holy experiment.
Nothing could be further from the truth. That's not how history works. It does not fit together on that seesaw.
I sat in the pew every "Sanctity of Human-life" Sunday with others listening to the declarations of how God was taking away his blessing from the United States. Abortion had angered God so much that he would break up this nation... it was the greatest evil in the history of our nation.
Wait... abortion is not new. Abortion is an old practice.
The historian in me was enraged. Had God taken his blessing away when Native tribes were decimated by disease and swindled out of land? How about when their innocent members were sold into Slavery in the Caribbean after King Philip's War?
From the earliest colonies, African labor built this nation. The horrors of the middle passage, the brutality of the business and the way every person profited from it. Investors, insurance, bankers, anyone who drank rum or wore cotton... all provided by the blood and sweat of slaves. Whipped in the hot sun, raped and torn away from family members. And God stood with an approving smirk?
The oppression of women over centuries in America. Withholding property rights, allowing brutality because it happened in marriage. No say, no equality. For centuries. And God did not "take his glory away."
The fear of every African-American, although freed from slavery on paper, still subservient and now a part of a tightly controlled Jim Crow south. Can you hear Billie Holiday's cry:
"Southern trees bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees."
My church had no celebration for the end of slavery, or celebrating what pastors and their congregations accomplished in the civil rights era. They never openly decried racism. They never mentioned lynching.
Or the fact that in all these Supreme Court cases and decisions, the evangelical church had written amicus briefs on the side of the White Supremacists and the status quo.
But abortion.
That is the buzzword that keeps things moving. It signifies the sign in society that the church is losing control.
It is all about control. Can you hear it? Mike Pence speaking at Liberty University, talking about being "ridiculed" for their faith. Perhaps for their stand on abortion. their stand on different subjects that put them in conflict.
Does he feel how hard it is to be LGBTQA+ in communities that are predominantly evangelical Christians?
Does he know how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship and find out you are pregnant? Or to be taken advantage of by someone in your life? And carry that baby to term?
Does he know what its like to truly feel different? Real discrimination and ridicule because of the color of his skin or gender?
Abortion is all about controlling that most intimate part of each person. It declares a worldview is present and protection must be given at the expense of everything else because? His God knows better. And he'll punish this nation.
No, that's a rouse. Its a red herring. It is the definition of bullshit.
God is losing. God is fading from the mythologized history of our founding and the lies we have heard of our standards.
More than even that. For the first time, the church is seen in context. Exposed. As what they are.
Psychologically damaging. Morally repugnant. Socially harmful. Invading on every privacy and desperate to grasp at some control. And they are grasping for the uterus. Grabbing at it as a last ditch effort of misinformation. Hoping that they can keep in politics, keep relevant and remain current in a world that has passed them by.
Throwing out lies and fear tactics that I once to feared. Now I stare at them in the face. And cry "bullshit."
Monday, May 13, 2019
The exvangelical on Tinder
My nervous fingers got into a steady rhythm of swiping right or left. It was exciting!
A world of opportunity, experiences at my fingertips. No more of the culture-imposed restraint. It was a world without rules! Isn't that what I wanted? No guilt with sex, no self-loathing with who I'm attracted to? No shame in finding what is exciting?
I had grown up in the evangelical church and had one (1) girlfriend starting when I was 19. Five years later we married and I entered marriage as a virgin, believing everything that the purity culture declared is true.
- Sex is only safe in the marriage context
- Sexual thoughts outside of marriage are sin
- Marriage is for procreation, it follows a creation mandate from Genesis
- Marriage is a union like Christ and the Church
Many former evangelicals know the pain these statutes bring. After leaving the church I felt ready to experience that freedom and feel what it is like!
The problem is, despite being free from restrictions, I was also away from any structure with nothing to replace it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
My first relationship after my marriage would last 2 years. I was so excited that someone found me attractive and at first, validated my story and made a commitment to me without religion attached to it. I felt good about myself and finally able to shed the feeling of guilt and shame.
However, jumping right into the situation, I did not see her blatant controlling nature or her narcissism. And before I knew it, the newness wore off and I was being physically and mentally abused. Instead of breaking free from the past, I felt the pain of my old self-image problems I had as a teenager. I felt as if I had no identity to fall back on. The Steve from 5 years ago was gone. I felt like I was adrift and couldn't find my base.
I had left the church but had not found my own community or circle of friends that could support me. I did not feel guilt or shame, but I had not fully dealt with the deep issues that surrounded the purpose vacuum.
It took the 2 years to start therapy again and get a restraining order against her. It felt like I was restarting my life for a 2nd time. Everything was simplified and I now had a base to start going forward.
I watched out for red flags like narcissism and temper. I would not let my kids meet the next person for a long time. I would only spend time with someone on my non-parenting time.
But there was still a major problem as I logged in to Tinder and Okcupid. I still had no sense of self and boundaries around dating. In the church, this is not a problem. You start to date and get to know someone until you make a bigger commitment and then move forward. Sex is not the driving force. In the secular world, sex is mixed up in the entire package.
It is so much more complicated than that.
Sex is a big part of the profiles and commitment is not. There are so many things I discovered I knew nothing (zero) about.
- Kinks - I had only heard about this in the context of memes and some erotica. I had no idea what most of them meant. Did I have them? No idea. Is it a deal breaker? No rules for that.
- Friends with benefits - Is this really what I want? Can I even do this? Does it cheapen sex? Does it complicate a friendship? What would that dynamic look like.
- Open relationships - This sounds like a dream for a couple, but wow is it complicated. And I still haven't figured out exactly how that works
- When is it dating? What is it too early to have sex? What is too many sex partners?
- What is the dynamic of a person's sex drive? How do you work that out? Public displays of affections? Sub? Dom? What does that all mean!
I felt so overwhelmed and assumed I would work it out as I went along... And that has been an utter failure.
The results have been - awkward sexual encounters where its just not a match, ostracizing friends because my partner was way too sexual in a group setting, great conversations and then mediocre connection, or alternately great sexual partners who I have no personal connection to...
It is a giant, complicated mess.
In one year on the dating scene, the freedom I thought I would enjoy has scared me. I don't wish for the guilt and shame restrictive church, but how do I find the structure in dating that helps me build a healthy relationship?
No one seems to know, except having well established, hard rules that are self imposed and carefully laid out in dating. This includes what you will do on a first date, what you will not do, declaring what you are looking for in general and guarding everything else closely.
It is a lot like a kid being set loose in a candy store only to chip a tooth, get diabetes and a sugar rush headache... And then act like an asshole and ostracize the people you care about...
The apps are like that candy store. And I'm playing a game I just don't understand!
A world of opportunity, experiences at my fingertips. No more of the culture-imposed restraint. It was a world without rules! Isn't that what I wanted? No guilt with sex, no self-loathing with who I'm attracted to? No shame in finding what is exciting?
I had grown up in the evangelical church and had one (1) girlfriend starting when I was 19. Five years later we married and I entered marriage as a virgin, believing everything that the purity culture declared is true.
- Sex is only safe in the marriage context
- Sexual thoughts outside of marriage are sin
- Marriage is for procreation, it follows a creation mandate from Genesis
- Marriage is a union like Christ and the Church
Many former evangelicals know the pain these statutes bring. After leaving the church I felt ready to experience that freedom and feel what it is like!
The problem is, despite being free from restrictions, I was also away from any structure with nothing to replace it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
My first relationship after my marriage would last 2 years. I was so excited that someone found me attractive and at first, validated my story and made a commitment to me without religion attached to it. I felt good about myself and finally able to shed the feeling of guilt and shame.
However, jumping right into the situation, I did not see her blatant controlling nature or her narcissism. And before I knew it, the newness wore off and I was being physically and mentally abused. Instead of breaking free from the past, I felt the pain of my old self-image problems I had as a teenager. I felt as if I had no identity to fall back on. The Steve from 5 years ago was gone. I felt like I was adrift and couldn't find my base.
I had left the church but had not found my own community or circle of friends that could support me. I did not feel guilt or shame, but I had not fully dealt with the deep issues that surrounded the purpose vacuum.
It took the 2 years to start therapy again and get a restraining order against her. It felt like I was restarting my life for a 2nd time. Everything was simplified and I now had a base to start going forward.
I watched out for red flags like narcissism and temper. I would not let my kids meet the next person for a long time. I would only spend time with someone on my non-parenting time.
But there was still a major problem as I logged in to Tinder and Okcupid. I still had no sense of self and boundaries around dating. In the church, this is not a problem. You start to date and get to know someone until you make a bigger commitment and then move forward. Sex is not the driving force. In the secular world, sex is mixed up in the entire package.
It is so much more complicated than that.
Sex is a big part of the profiles and commitment is not. There are so many things I discovered I knew nothing (zero) about.
- Kinks - I had only heard about this in the context of memes and some erotica. I had no idea what most of them meant. Did I have them? No idea. Is it a deal breaker? No rules for that.
- Friends with benefits - Is this really what I want? Can I even do this? Does it cheapen sex? Does it complicate a friendship? What would that dynamic look like.
- Open relationships - This sounds like a dream for a couple, but wow is it complicated. And I still haven't figured out exactly how that works
- When is it dating? What is it too early to have sex? What is too many sex partners?
- What is the dynamic of a person's sex drive? How do you work that out? Public displays of affections? Sub? Dom? What does that all mean!
I felt so overwhelmed and assumed I would work it out as I went along... And that has been an utter failure.
The results have been - awkward sexual encounters where its just not a match, ostracizing friends because my partner was way too sexual in a group setting, great conversations and then mediocre connection, or alternately great sexual partners who I have no personal connection to...
It is a giant, complicated mess.
In one year on the dating scene, the freedom I thought I would enjoy has scared me. I don't wish for the guilt and shame restrictive church, but how do I find the structure in dating that helps me build a healthy relationship?
No one seems to know, except having well established, hard rules that are self imposed and carefully laid out in dating. This includes what you will do on a first date, what you will not do, declaring what you are looking for in general and guarding everything else closely.
It is a lot like a kid being set loose in a candy store only to chip a tooth, get diabetes and a sugar rush headache... And then act like an asshole and ostracize the people you care about...
The apps are like that candy store. And I'm playing a game I just don't understand!
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Afraid of ourselves
It is a basic truth of fundamental Christianity.
Our minds are cesspits, wretched wastelands that are devoid of any decent thought. Selfish, blind, immoral, corrupt... unable to do anything that pleases God. Like an animal instinct that hates order, despises justice and rejects goodness.
Over and over... In the bible we are "given over" to our carnal desires. Left to our own devices we will do unspeakable things. All war, pain, sadness are evidence of our nature. Anger is murder in principle. Sexual thoughts are rape or sex outside of marriage. The thought is the action. Because if left to our own course, the worst of us would come out.
Disorder... a short sad life... then judgment.
We are the wicked. Unable to do anything right.
And God is everything we are not... Holy, pure, perfect, without blemish.
The darkest avenue a Christian can go down is the wide freeway in his/her mind of sexual sin. There are so many layers to this, it is so hard to unravel. But basically, everything in church and in our world has to be based around keeping our disgusting minds pure.
If the church doesn't do something... if they don't dictate from the pulpit and the youth leaders... People... might... have... sex!!!!
Or worse, people might masturbate or even worse than all of that: watch pornography!!!
If you are/were from a member of a progressive church or have never experienced this, you might be thinking, "But aren't teens and adults going to do that anyways? You can't dictate what people think!"
To which you can hear every priest and pastor say "Hold my Communion wine. We gonna do this."
Despite every different body type, personality, sexual preference or even lack thereof, the church has a cookie cutter answer to the sex problem.
Women: Ok, your job is to look modest, no skin showing, nothing tight, nothing too flashy, nothing too feminine but it better be feminine enough! We don't want you looking like men! Also, feminine but not fashionable. We want 100% mystery on wedding nights! Are there octopus tentacles under there? Shark teeth? Who knows! Also... you have no sexual identity until your husband helps you find it. Got it?
Men: Ok, your job is to look like men... And don't think about sex or porn or think about touching yourself until you are married and then, I promise every night will be a dream! (seriously used to hear married older guys talk about what a "blessed union" they had.)
We hear it all the time in church. Pornography, masturbation ruin marriages. They ruin our relationship with Christ. They make us sin with ourselves, our partners (or future partners.) No one belongs with you in the bedroom! (except your pastor...)
This is all from the same archaic cloth as all the other moral rules that have vague basis in Bronze/iron age morals and puritanical American evangelicalism. On this same cloth are the edicts about dinosaur bones being placed by Satan, evolution being a giant scientific conspiracy and Noah's flood causing all of our rock layers.
We've come too far too go backwards on the issue of sex.
People should have control of their own bodies and how they feel about sex. No one is hurt by masturbation. No one is hurt by you exploring yourself. No one is hurt by you being attracted to other people.
If you aren't in a relationship, no one is effected at all by pornography if that's what you choose. If you are in a relationship, its worth the discussion but most open couples do not see this as infidelity and many watch it together.
Being afraid of our sexual selves is equivalent to all the other ridiculous bullshit like humans with dinosaurs and unicorns missing the ark.
Our sexual desires are the most personal part of us and it takes time and safety to work those things out. How many lives have been ruined by people pounding on this subject in youth group or in the pulpit or by passing along fundamentalist books?
Even worse, it creates an atmosphere that normalizes abuse and rape. Let me explain that. Our natural desires are seen as disgusting sin when outside of the context of marriage. All sins separate us from God and any one sin can send us to hell. So the sin of masturbation is equal to the sin of rape, to the sin of incest to the sin of pederasty. It creates an atmosphere where we feel sick about our desires and instead of working them out, we are afraid of them! Remember, we can't help it! We are disgusting, filthy sinners and without God, we would do every terrible thing under the sun...
And the bottling up of expression and exploration can cause serious harm to who we are as people.
This is a personal post because I think it is so deeply important. The amount of guilt and shame I carried for 20 years because of any sexual desires was immense. I hate myself for lack of control and I hated living a life where I felt so helpless. Already battling depression, I felt awful because I couldn't discipline myself enough to clear my conscience and be a better Christian. When I went to pray, it was there. When I served, it was there. When I went to have sex, the guilt was there too.
Please let me know if this resonates with you.
Our minds are cesspits, wretched wastelands that are devoid of any decent thought. Selfish, blind, immoral, corrupt... unable to do anything that pleases God. Like an animal instinct that hates order, despises justice and rejects goodness.
Over and over... In the bible we are "given over" to our carnal desires. Left to our own devices we will do unspeakable things. All war, pain, sadness are evidence of our nature. Anger is murder in principle. Sexual thoughts are rape or sex outside of marriage. The thought is the action. Because if left to our own course, the worst of us would come out.
Disorder... a short sad life... then judgment.
We are the wicked. Unable to do anything right.
And God is everything we are not... Holy, pure, perfect, without blemish.
The darkest avenue a Christian can go down is the wide freeway in his/her mind of sexual sin. There are so many layers to this, it is so hard to unravel. But basically, everything in church and in our world has to be based around keeping our disgusting minds pure.
If the church doesn't do something... if they don't dictate from the pulpit and the youth leaders... People... might... have... sex!!!!
Or worse, people might masturbate or even worse than all of that: watch pornography!!!
If you are/were from a member of a progressive church or have never experienced this, you might be thinking, "But aren't teens and adults going to do that anyways? You can't dictate what people think!"
To which you can hear every priest and pastor say "Hold my Communion wine. We gonna do this."
Despite every different body type, personality, sexual preference or even lack thereof, the church has a cookie cutter answer to the sex problem.
Women: Ok, your job is to look modest, no skin showing, nothing tight, nothing too flashy, nothing too feminine but it better be feminine enough! We don't want you looking like men! Also, feminine but not fashionable. We want 100% mystery on wedding nights! Are there octopus tentacles under there? Shark teeth? Who knows! Also... you have no sexual identity until your husband helps you find it. Got it?
Men: Ok, your job is to look like men... And don't think about sex or porn or think about touching yourself until you are married and then, I promise every night will be a dream! (seriously used to hear married older guys talk about what a "blessed union" they had.)
We hear it all the time in church. Pornography, masturbation ruin marriages. They ruin our relationship with Christ. They make us sin with ourselves, our partners (or future partners.) No one belongs with you in the bedroom! (except your pastor...)
This is all from the same archaic cloth as all the other moral rules that have vague basis in Bronze/iron age morals and puritanical American evangelicalism. On this same cloth are the edicts about dinosaur bones being placed by Satan, evolution being a giant scientific conspiracy and Noah's flood causing all of our rock layers.
We've come too far too go backwards on the issue of sex.
People should have control of their own bodies and how they feel about sex. No one is hurt by masturbation. No one is hurt by you exploring yourself. No one is hurt by you being attracted to other people.
If you aren't in a relationship, no one is effected at all by pornography if that's what you choose. If you are in a relationship, its worth the discussion but most open couples do not see this as infidelity and many watch it together.
Being afraid of our sexual selves is equivalent to all the other ridiculous bullshit like humans with dinosaurs and unicorns missing the ark.
Our sexual desires are the most personal part of us and it takes time and safety to work those things out. How many lives have been ruined by people pounding on this subject in youth group or in the pulpit or by passing along fundamentalist books?
Even worse, it creates an atmosphere that normalizes abuse and rape. Let me explain that. Our natural desires are seen as disgusting sin when outside of the context of marriage. All sins separate us from God and any one sin can send us to hell. So the sin of masturbation is equal to the sin of rape, to the sin of incest to the sin of pederasty. It creates an atmosphere where we feel sick about our desires and instead of working them out, we are afraid of them! Remember, we can't help it! We are disgusting, filthy sinners and without God, we would do every terrible thing under the sun...
And the bottling up of expression and exploration can cause serious harm to who we are as people.
This is a personal post because I think it is so deeply important. The amount of guilt and shame I carried for 20 years because of any sexual desires was immense. I hate myself for lack of control and I hated living a life where I felt so helpless. Already battling depression, I felt awful because I couldn't discipline myself enough to clear my conscience and be a better Christian. When I went to pray, it was there. When I served, it was there. When I went to have sex, the guilt was there too.
Please let me know if this resonates with you.
Monday, May 6, 2019
10 people you will meet in the Evangelical Church
I want to preface this by saying that caricatures are everywhere. The librarian, the nervous stockbroker, the "mid-life crisis" guy with a comb-over and a Mustang. They are useful in examining our society and making sense out of it.
So, without further delay: Ten People you will Meet in the Evangelical Church
1. Homeschool mom - She has the same style jumper or dress on as her kids. Perhaps even a modest head covering. 4-5 kids are beside her in order from youngest to oldest! She has a giant purse with crayons, snacks and construction paper. She hasn't slept in a week... She's had the same dress for 20 years and hasn't taken the time to dye the greys out of her hair in months.
2. Creepy deacon - this is another person we all know. He quotes Paul as saying "Greet each other with a holy kiss." So... he kisses any woman he wants. Also hugs way too long and tight for comfort. But he's kinda old and gets away with it. He sees young men with girlfriends and says "if I was 40 years younger, you wouldn't stand a chance son."
3. Granola-Crunch - This is an alternative to the Homeschool mom, but this one is drinking out of a glass bottle with a literal bag of granola in her purse. She makes her own household cleaners and her own toothpaste and sadly enough... her own deodorant. Her and her husband will not vaccinate their kids and they also raise their own animals and vegetables for food... If you go over their house there will be a giant garden and don't get too attached to the bunnies... They are dinner.
4. The amen-man - He is definitely the pastor's friend. He is paying close attention to the sermon so he can give that deep bass "amen." Perhaps once in a while he declares, "preach it, friend!"
5. The sports-guy - He's there on sunday... but you know he's watching the clock. Perhaps he used to be a bookie or a high school athlete. He's the captain of the Turkey Day family football day and any picnic pickup basketball contest. Wicked competitive and shames you if you are not athletic. He's kind of a dick...
6. The Old-lady-that-no-one-can-remember-being-young - You started in church 20 years ago? She's still the same age... She harkens back to the days when the pastor (who's been there for 40 years) first arrived... She's just about deaf and blind but has the best ribbon candy and Werther's original. She'll tell you about the "new" addition to the church which was built 60 years ago.
7. The Off Key singer - He or she knows every word to every hymn, but they are completely tone deaf. They are usually the loudest singer and everyone looks at them when you joke "make a joyful noise to the Lord."
8. The showoff singer - She has a wonderful voice, but this is not American Idol. They get the solos every year in choir and take their church singing careers VERY seriously. Sunday is a performance but they sweetly say, "Thank you, but its not me, its the Lord using his vessel." Sometimes she is married to the Off-Key Singer... Which is weird.
9. Hand lifter - they began life in the Pentecostal Church or perhaps even some new age movement in California with crystals and speaking in tongues. I heard before that they were in a commune... They lift their hands, but wait until the perfect moment, when the emotion of the song takes them. Sometimes one hand, sometimes two, always with the emphasis on the beats and eyes closed. Once in a while a bounce in the pew and moving of hips.
10. The Gossip Queen - She is perhaps the pastor's wife or a Deacon's wife or Deaconess. She always has a juicy tidbit to say to her friends. Church is her chance to gather information, watch which couple is holding hands, who didn't take communion, and who has dark circles under their eyes. Did that couple come in separate cars today? She asks a probing question, smiling the whole time.
Those are just 10 of the people you meet in an evangelical church! Any more? Add them in the comments!
So, without further delay: Ten People you will Meet in the Evangelical Church
1. Homeschool mom - She has the same style jumper or dress on as her kids. Perhaps even a modest head covering. 4-5 kids are beside her in order from youngest to oldest! She has a giant purse with crayons, snacks and construction paper. She hasn't slept in a week... She's had the same dress for 20 years and hasn't taken the time to dye the greys out of her hair in months.
2. Creepy deacon - this is another person we all know. He quotes Paul as saying "Greet each other with a holy kiss." So... he kisses any woman he wants. Also hugs way too long and tight for comfort. But he's kinda old and gets away with it. He sees young men with girlfriends and says "if I was 40 years younger, you wouldn't stand a chance son."
3. Granola-Crunch - This is an alternative to the Homeschool mom, but this one is drinking out of a glass bottle with a literal bag of granola in her purse. She makes her own household cleaners and her own toothpaste and sadly enough... her own deodorant. Her and her husband will not vaccinate their kids and they also raise their own animals and vegetables for food... If you go over their house there will be a giant garden and don't get too attached to the bunnies... They are dinner.
4. The amen-man - He is definitely the pastor's friend. He is paying close attention to the sermon so he can give that deep bass "amen." Perhaps once in a while he declares, "preach it, friend!"
5. The sports-guy - He's there on sunday... but you know he's watching the clock. Perhaps he used to be a bookie or a high school athlete. He's the captain of the Turkey Day family football day and any picnic pickup basketball contest. Wicked competitive and shames you if you are not athletic. He's kind of a dick...
6. The Old-lady-that-no-one-can-remember-being-young - You started in church 20 years ago? She's still the same age... She harkens back to the days when the pastor (who's been there for 40 years) first arrived... She's just about deaf and blind but has the best ribbon candy and Werther's original. She'll tell you about the "new" addition to the church which was built 60 years ago.
7. The Off Key singer - He or she knows every word to every hymn, but they are completely tone deaf. They are usually the loudest singer and everyone looks at them when you joke "make a joyful noise to the Lord."
8. The showoff singer - She has a wonderful voice, but this is not American Idol. They get the solos every year in choir and take their church singing careers VERY seriously. Sunday is a performance but they sweetly say, "Thank you, but its not me, its the Lord using his vessel." Sometimes she is married to the Off-Key Singer... Which is weird.
9. Hand lifter - they began life in the Pentecostal Church or perhaps even some new age movement in California with crystals and speaking in tongues. I heard before that they were in a commune... They lift their hands, but wait until the perfect moment, when the emotion of the song takes them. Sometimes one hand, sometimes two, always with the emphasis on the beats and eyes closed. Once in a while a bounce in the pew and moving of hips.
10. The Gossip Queen - She is perhaps the pastor's wife or a Deacon's wife or Deaconess. She always has a juicy tidbit to say to her friends. Church is her chance to gather information, watch which couple is holding hands, who didn't take communion, and who has dark circles under their eyes. Did that couple come in separate cars today? She asks a probing question, smiling the whole time.
Those are just 10 of the people you meet in an evangelical church! Any more? Add them in the comments!
Friday, May 3, 2019
The Insincereity of Christian love
"Thank you so much, I will pay you back when I can!"
"Don't worry about it, it's not me doing it. It's because of Christ. Not me."
"What a generous donation to our mission! Thank you so much."
"Don't thank me, thank God. He is doing it. Not me."
"You saved that elderly man from a car fire! You are a hero!"
"No, I'm no hero. It was only through Christ."
I'll be blunt. the crux of the statements above are: I would have never done it without God coaxing me to do it.
This is why Christians assume atheists are devoid of goodness. Because they think they do good deeds because of Christ. And apparently, ONLY because of Christ. In other words, they would be sitting at home saying "screw you" to humanity and being selfish. That's the impression I get. Eat, drink, for tomorrow we die.
Oh it gets worse. How many missionaries did I meet that had the same story. "I was a corporate banker on Wall Street when I was saved and I turned my life around and served Jesus!" Or, "I was working at a 6-figure job and trying to live the American dream, 3 cars, credit cards, fancy vacations. Then Jesus reached into my life."
In other words, I was a jerk. Now, I'm saved and can finally do good. And they CANNOT imagine someone doing good outside of being a Christian. Because when they were "unsaved" they lived in complete selfishness.
Or at least that's what they are telling you. It's all a mirage. In fact, talking to them, they weren't monsters before or after coming to Christ. The corporate banker had 5 kids who I met, all well adjusted and kind people. He had gotten into an ivy league school on a sports scholarship and worked his ass off balancing everything. And had found a great rhythm in a tiresome corporate job! He had the energy to do anything.
Another example is of a person close to my heart. After nursing school, she spent a year in Appalachia at a clinic serving some of the poorest people in the United States. She was an accomplished musician and pursued a side hobby of aviation. When she started going to church, she gave all her credit to Christ. But I could see her heart and passion was in Kentucky where she had cared for people as a secular nurse.
This is the circular nature of thought that Christians MUST enter to properly claim a close relationship with Christ. All their deeds that show how they naturally show love are attributed to Christ. As if "Christ" has no real value... except a reflection of what people do anyways.
It is a step in the process of denying the basic love and goodness of people and superimposing "God." And its maddening. What value can we place on the entity: God?
Look at some of the most basic hymns and worship songs and you will see "self-abasement." We are wretched, lost, sheep, sinners, broken, hurt, sad, dying, hopeless... And we sing about a God that is infinitely everything we are not... loving, caring, sweet, gentle, moral...
I can't speak for everyone. But this dynamic created a deep self-loathing. I credited Christ with every good deed because I believed myself incapable of doing anything positive. I hate everything that I did outside of Christ and thought it was a waste of time. And that includes: self care. What was the point of focusing on myself at all.
Combined with my clinical depression, the gospel made me sink deeper. Everything felt insincere that I wasn't doing in his "power." I was constantly trying to "stay right with God" because otherwise... I was that same failed, disgusting, sinful creation that I was before Christ's love.
Christ's love... a blanket statement that I accepted and tried to emulate. Despite the fact that this was human love!
We have the ability to Love in ways that this Christian love cannot even fathom! And that starts with the ability to love ourselves!!!!
We have the ability to give ourselves self care, self-realization and boost ourselves up instead of bashing. We have the love inside us that exists because of our giant, amazing socially-wired evolved brains! We have sincere love that transcends every barrier that religion can't even touch.
I can love because I have love inside me. Not an outside benign force that acts.
I can love my family, my kids, my neighbor. I can love the person who asks for money or help. I can give of my time and abilities! I can look at someone who I don't even agree with and love them with a love that Christ would spurn. I don't ask them to "get right with my line of morality." I simply give an expression of love.
Christian love can't transcend the barriers that it puts up. It can't love LGBTQ identifying people because it has rules against that. I can! I can love them and fight for their rights!
Christian love can't love people from religions it deems false. Not fully. There's always the hitch: do it so they see our love and want what we have!
Christian love can't see through the cultural patriarchal barriers it creates! It can't bring full love to half the population it deems as "less than" (women.) It can't preach entrenched inferiority and then try to lift women up.
Christian love can't simply love without hidden motive. The bible doesn't allow that. There's always a push for conversion and obedience. Otherwise... you are doing things in your own power...
Which we are! Which they are, they just don't realize it.
Love like a human today!
"Don't worry about it, it's not me doing it. It's because of Christ. Not me."
"What a generous donation to our mission! Thank you so much."
"Don't thank me, thank God. He is doing it. Not me."
"You saved that elderly man from a car fire! You are a hero!"
"No, I'm no hero. It was only through Christ."
I'll be blunt. the crux of the statements above are: I would have never done it without God coaxing me to do it.
This is why Christians assume atheists are devoid of goodness. Because they think they do good deeds because of Christ. And apparently, ONLY because of Christ. In other words, they would be sitting at home saying "screw you" to humanity and being selfish. That's the impression I get. Eat, drink, for tomorrow we die.
Oh it gets worse. How many missionaries did I meet that had the same story. "I was a corporate banker on Wall Street when I was saved and I turned my life around and served Jesus!" Or, "I was working at a 6-figure job and trying to live the American dream, 3 cars, credit cards, fancy vacations. Then Jesus reached into my life."
In other words, I was a jerk. Now, I'm saved and can finally do good. And they CANNOT imagine someone doing good outside of being a Christian. Because when they were "unsaved" they lived in complete selfishness.
Or at least that's what they are telling you. It's all a mirage. In fact, talking to them, they weren't monsters before or after coming to Christ. The corporate banker had 5 kids who I met, all well adjusted and kind people. He had gotten into an ivy league school on a sports scholarship and worked his ass off balancing everything. And had found a great rhythm in a tiresome corporate job! He had the energy to do anything.
Another example is of a person close to my heart. After nursing school, she spent a year in Appalachia at a clinic serving some of the poorest people in the United States. She was an accomplished musician and pursued a side hobby of aviation. When she started going to church, she gave all her credit to Christ. But I could see her heart and passion was in Kentucky where she had cared for people as a secular nurse.
This is the circular nature of thought that Christians MUST enter to properly claim a close relationship with Christ. All their deeds that show how they naturally show love are attributed to Christ. As if "Christ" has no real value... except a reflection of what people do anyways.
It is a step in the process of denying the basic love and goodness of people and superimposing "God." And its maddening. What value can we place on the entity: God?
Look at some of the most basic hymns and worship songs and you will see "self-abasement." We are wretched, lost, sheep, sinners, broken, hurt, sad, dying, hopeless... And we sing about a God that is infinitely everything we are not... loving, caring, sweet, gentle, moral...
I can't speak for everyone. But this dynamic created a deep self-loathing. I credited Christ with every good deed because I believed myself incapable of doing anything positive. I hate everything that I did outside of Christ and thought it was a waste of time. And that includes: self care. What was the point of focusing on myself at all.
Combined with my clinical depression, the gospel made me sink deeper. Everything felt insincere that I wasn't doing in his "power." I was constantly trying to "stay right with God" because otherwise... I was that same failed, disgusting, sinful creation that I was before Christ's love.
Christ's love... a blanket statement that I accepted and tried to emulate. Despite the fact that this was human love!
We have the ability to Love in ways that this Christian love cannot even fathom! And that starts with the ability to love ourselves!!!!
We have the ability to give ourselves self care, self-realization and boost ourselves up instead of bashing. We have the love inside us that exists because of our giant, amazing socially-wired evolved brains! We have sincere love that transcends every barrier that religion can't even touch.
I can love because I have love inside me. Not an outside benign force that acts.
I can love my family, my kids, my neighbor. I can love the person who asks for money or help. I can give of my time and abilities! I can look at someone who I don't even agree with and love them with a love that Christ would spurn. I don't ask them to "get right with my line of morality." I simply give an expression of love.
Christian love can't transcend the barriers that it puts up. It can't love LGBTQ identifying people because it has rules against that. I can! I can love them and fight for their rights!
Christian love can't love people from religions it deems false. Not fully. There's always the hitch: do it so they see our love and want what we have!
Christian love can't see through the cultural patriarchal barriers it creates! It can't bring full love to half the population it deems as "less than" (women.) It can't preach entrenched inferiority and then try to lift women up.
Christian love can't simply love without hidden motive. The bible doesn't allow that. There's always a push for conversion and obedience. Otherwise... you are doing things in your own power...
Which we are! Which they are, they just don't realize it.
Love like a human today!
Thursday, May 2, 2019
Struggling being "too nice"
The previous two days I wrote about where Atheists and Christians can find some common ground to at least understand each other as people. And I think there is value in that... to a point.
However, I find that it's usually left up to the Atheist to make the concessions.
And that's not fair.
In fact, its time to get to the meat and potatoes of why I am an atheist. And to empower myself to stop being "too nice" and get some things out in the open!
Evangelical Christianity is not a neutral position that atheists should "accept" and respect. I hope I did not give that impression in the previous posts. I want better dialogue with Christians that are willing. But there is a lot to address here! This brand of literal interpretation Christianity has had cataclysmic, hurtful, painful effects on my own life and on the lives of so many people. And that deserves to be called out and bashed in public forums.
The basic premise of the evangelical faith is the complete inability of a person to please God. Oh, he certainly "loves" us, but we are filthy, disgusting and born apart from God. We fearfully baptize babies, pray for them using the words "beautiful" in the same breath as "sinner." Parents dedicate their babies to the Lord to put the focus on indoctrination and early decision for Christ. And as much as we hear Pastors talk about God giving children that die a special type of grace, it doesn't jive with that dedication rhetoric.
That's all very fucked up. It is time we address that. Because there's no way to come half way on indoctrinating children.
The other huge issue with sin is the equally disturbing view that evangelicals have of our final destination after we die (in sin.) Hell. If it is not abuse to talk to a child about burning in a lake of fire and everlasting torment because of rejecting Jesus... I don't know what is. To tell a child that their every thought and decision is a sin that has eternal consequences is the cruelest, most harmful thing I can think of.
And it gets worse! Not only to bring up a child in the church with this "sin sick" conscience, but to cause them to create this diametrically opposed "us vs. them" world in their brains. Saved/non-saved. Heading to heaven/heading to hell. Children of God/Children of the devil. Able to please God/unable to please God at all. A person goes into teenage years with a distinct view that they have to keep separate.
And this brings me to the biggest reason I left the evangelical faith and why I have no problem calling out evangelicals: portraying clinical depression as a result of our sin!
There I was, convinced I was sad all the time because of unconfessed sin, constantly fearing that God heard every thought and knew how weak I was. I was convinced from books and messages that I was a sex addict, a lukewarm Christian, unable to keep my heart on Christ. Why did I think that? Because I was depressed all the time! And that had to be solved via applying the Holy Spirit's revelation to my conscience and constant discipline.
I hated myself. I hated who I was and I felt like God agreed with me. Oh, he loved me, but only because he created me. I could do nothing to please him. I could do nothing worth his love. He loved me because of a loophole. Jesus death and resurrection. Otherwise, I didn't deserve it.
So we have a group of people, walking around with deep conflicted hearts and self hatred, trying not to cling to this world because its destined to burn in unquenchable fire! And we are called to hate everything about the secular world, because everything is tinged in the color of the devil. His shadow is over everything that is outside the church. Music, media, government, on and on...
Punishment is coming. Fire is coming. Judgment is coming. I could feel my arm hairs stand on end as I thought about that moment.
Raised in Christ, sitting before God the father hearing a summary of my pitiful life. My failings, my sin, my inability to shake the sins of my flesh. And after all was laid bare, I would be allowed in, forgiven but... barely. I was lucky to be anywhere near saved.
Then to sit and watch the sword of Christ cut through his enemies... who rejected him... who deserved hell. And all my loved ones, reaching for my hand as they are stirred up in the lake of fire... because I had not done my job.
I should have prayed harder... listened to music less... pleaded with them! explained it again and again. Lived my life in a more perfect manner...
I cried all the time for my non-Christian family... friends... prayed quietly while driving for each person. Cried for Catholics, for Muslims, for anyone that I was told was still outside God's grace... even other denominations that were "liberal" and headed to hell.
Fuck it. I'm done being nice. I laid out my case to cooperate and join together on human rights. But that's not a statement of weakness. That's a statement that says "you better come together on human rights, because if you don't, you are an enemy."
So evangelical Christians, let me lay out my direct statements, minus any fucks given.
1. Don't tell my kids they are going to hell. I will not allow them to hate themselves because of this literal bullshit
2. Don't touch LGBTQ rights or you will lose all your influence (justifiably so)
3. Don't take away a women's right to make their own decisions regarding their body, keep the fuck away from legislation that discusses contraception.
4. Don't tell me I need to support Israel because it fulfills some end-times prophecy so you can get to the rapture quicker
5. Don't tell me we are a Christian nation founded on the bible. You know its not true. You know most founders were deists. You know there's a separation for a reason and you know we are owe most of our modern law code to Great Britain.
6. Don't go into other countries with the guise of giving aid just to force a bible on someone and tell them the good news they are going to hell. I will give my money to NGO's with secular visions.
7. Don't tell me we can't restrict gun ownership because of some "Republican-Jesus-Rambo" bullshit. Let's get laws out there that make sense.
8. Don't tell my kids that one particular Iron/Bronze age origin story belongs in a freaking science class.
9. Don't fight against Climate Change laws because you feel like the world is going to end and this won't be a problem. Fine, drink the Kool-Aid and get out of here so we can change the course of man-made climate change.
10. Don't tell me I have no moral compass when the bible is not a paragon of morality... need I say more?
And finally, don't tell me my depression is because of sin. I'll send you my therapy bills.
However, I find that it's usually left up to the Atheist to make the concessions.
And that's not fair.
In fact, its time to get to the meat and potatoes of why I am an atheist. And to empower myself to stop being "too nice" and get some things out in the open!
Evangelical Christianity is not a neutral position that atheists should "accept" and respect. I hope I did not give that impression in the previous posts. I want better dialogue with Christians that are willing. But there is a lot to address here! This brand of literal interpretation Christianity has had cataclysmic, hurtful, painful effects on my own life and on the lives of so many people. And that deserves to be called out and bashed in public forums.
The basic premise of the evangelical faith is the complete inability of a person to please God. Oh, he certainly "loves" us, but we are filthy, disgusting and born apart from God. We fearfully baptize babies, pray for them using the words "beautiful" in the same breath as "sinner." Parents dedicate their babies to the Lord to put the focus on indoctrination and early decision for Christ. And as much as we hear Pastors talk about God giving children that die a special type of grace, it doesn't jive with that dedication rhetoric.
That's all very fucked up. It is time we address that. Because there's no way to come half way on indoctrinating children.
The other huge issue with sin is the equally disturbing view that evangelicals have of our final destination after we die (in sin.) Hell. If it is not abuse to talk to a child about burning in a lake of fire and everlasting torment because of rejecting Jesus... I don't know what is. To tell a child that their every thought and decision is a sin that has eternal consequences is the cruelest, most harmful thing I can think of.
And it gets worse! Not only to bring up a child in the church with this "sin sick" conscience, but to cause them to create this diametrically opposed "us vs. them" world in their brains. Saved/non-saved. Heading to heaven/heading to hell. Children of God/Children of the devil. Able to please God/unable to please God at all. A person goes into teenage years with a distinct view that they have to keep separate.
And this brings me to the biggest reason I left the evangelical faith and why I have no problem calling out evangelicals: portraying clinical depression as a result of our sin!
There I was, convinced I was sad all the time because of unconfessed sin, constantly fearing that God heard every thought and knew how weak I was. I was convinced from books and messages that I was a sex addict, a lukewarm Christian, unable to keep my heart on Christ. Why did I think that? Because I was depressed all the time! And that had to be solved via applying the Holy Spirit's revelation to my conscience and constant discipline.
I hated myself. I hated who I was and I felt like God agreed with me. Oh, he loved me, but only because he created me. I could do nothing to please him. I could do nothing worth his love. He loved me because of a loophole. Jesus death and resurrection. Otherwise, I didn't deserve it.
So we have a group of people, walking around with deep conflicted hearts and self hatred, trying not to cling to this world because its destined to burn in unquenchable fire! And we are called to hate everything about the secular world, because everything is tinged in the color of the devil. His shadow is over everything that is outside the church. Music, media, government, on and on...
Punishment is coming. Fire is coming. Judgment is coming. I could feel my arm hairs stand on end as I thought about that moment.
Raised in Christ, sitting before God the father hearing a summary of my pitiful life. My failings, my sin, my inability to shake the sins of my flesh. And after all was laid bare, I would be allowed in, forgiven but... barely. I was lucky to be anywhere near saved.
Then to sit and watch the sword of Christ cut through his enemies... who rejected him... who deserved hell. And all my loved ones, reaching for my hand as they are stirred up in the lake of fire... because I had not done my job.
I should have prayed harder... listened to music less... pleaded with them! explained it again and again. Lived my life in a more perfect manner...
I cried all the time for my non-Christian family... friends... prayed quietly while driving for each person. Cried for Catholics, for Muslims, for anyone that I was told was still outside God's grace... even other denominations that were "liberal" and headed to hell.
Fuck it. I'm done being nice. I laid out my case to cooperate and join together on human rights. But that's not a statement of weakness. That's a statement that says "you better come together on human rights, because if you don't, you are an enemy."
So evangelical Christians, let me lay out my direct statements, minus any fucks given.
1. Don't tell my kids they are going to hell. I will not allow them to hate themselves because of this literal bullshit
2. Don't touch LGBTQ rights or you will lose all your influence (justifiably so)
3. Don't take away a women's right to make their own decisions regarding their body, keep the fuck away from legislation that discusses contraception.
4. Don't tell me I need to support Israel because it fulfills some end-times prophecy so you can get to the rapture quicker
5. Don't tell me we are a Christian nation founded on the bible. You know its not true. You know most founders were deists. You know there's a separation for a reason and you know we are owe most of our modern law code to Great Britain.
6. Don't go into other countries with the guise of giving aid just to force a bible on someone and tell them the good news they are going to hell. I will give my money to NGO's with secular visions.
7. Don't tell me we can't restrict gun ownership because of some "Republican-Jesus-Rambo" bullshit. Let's get laws out there that make sense.
8. Don't tell my kids that one particular Iron/Bronze age origin story belongs in a freaking science class.
9. Don't fight against Climate Change laws because you feel like the world is going to end and this won't be a problem. Fine, drink the Kool-Aid and get out of here so we can change the course of man-made climate change.
10. Don't tell me I have no moral compass when the bible is not a paragon of morality... need I say more?
And finally, don't tell me my depression is because of sin. I'll send you my therapy bills.
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Dear Christians - On Atheism
Dear evangelical Christians,
It's only fair that I send you an open letter because I took the time to write to fellow atheists and agnostics about good and bad ways to talk to Christians about their faith. And I think that's a productive conversation!
But I'm sure that you have a lot of misconceptions on your end about atheism. I was in your position. I had no idea what it meant to be an atheist. And I had no idea why they did not have a belief in the God of the bible. I had the same assumptions that you might have. So I want to write this out to you evangelical Christians about dialoguing with Atheists. Should we be scared of them? Do they have a holy text? Are they all the same? Are they trying to take over the world!!!! Will they eat my babies? Do they worship Satan?
1. Atheism is not ONE collective, organized position. It's one position on the claim that a God exists. So its impossible to sum up all atheists or bring them under one umbrella. That does not mean that atheists do not believe in anything. Its just an answer to the God claim. I'll use the general term Atheist, but not everything applies to every atheist. And I hope this is appreciated because I also don't lump every Christian into one group.
2. The basis for a position on the God claim usually comes from simply not being convinced there's enough evidence to have a positive position. For myself, it came from taking a rational, skeptical look at the claims and realized I did not have enough evidence to remain in the church. A lot of atheists use words like evidence, skepticism, rationality, sources etc. In other words, everything that remains when you take away emotional claims/faith.
3. Atheists do not hate God or worship Satan. I can't hate what I don't believe in. I also don't believe in a Satan... so I definitely would not worship Satan. And I don't hate the Bible or Christians or religion. The only thing that I would take a position on is protecting people who's freedoms would be taken away by legislating from the Bible.
4. The majority opinion among scholars is still that there was a historical Jesus. You may have heard most atheists do not believe in any historical figure that could have resembled Jesus of Nazareth. Even amongst Agnostic/atheist scholars, they still find convincing evidence for a historical person. There are a number of influential writers who are trying to build a case to challenge that (Mythicists.) But as of right now, they can't assail the scholarly work done by Historians.
5. Atheists do believe in morality. But it is not a morality found in a set of laws. It is a morality that has developed within social groups for survival and cooperation. This is how morality is explained and how it developed over hundreds of thousands of years even to the point of groups forming laws.
6. Atheists are not atheists just so they can get away with sinning. If a person takes a position that the bible is not the moral authority and that morality has origins in the past, sin is not a "thing." We make decisions in our own understanding of morality as part of a social group based on risk/reward. Yes, this does free the conscience from the biblical idea of 'thought police." There's no doubt about that. but people still have consequences for actions that are illegal in our society.
7. Atheists are not trying to take God out of everything. This is the focus of Christian movies and books. Activist atheists trying to impose a Godless society on the world. My perspective is historical. That's the purpose of my blog. I have no problem saying that Christianity and religion in general are huge parts of our western culture and would be incalculably different without it. Art, music, works of literature and elements of culture that are religious have value. However, my position is that we can't dictate the morality of the bible into someone else's life that does not believe in it. Christians are protected by the church and state division as well as adherents to other religions or no religion.
8. Atheists do not hate creationism. For myself, in historical perspective, the epic narrative of the book of Genesis have value in context. There's no reason why creation epics should not have a place in literature and comparative religion classes. However, they are not scientific explanations that can be taken apart and tested via the scientific method. It does not mean they have no value as literature. But they are not science. Therefore, they should not be put next to methods that are testable and repeatable.
9. Atheists do not have "nothing to live for." This is something I hear all the time. Once I left my faith, I must be miserable and destitute for meaning in my life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love my life. I find meaning in what I do. I enjoy my relationships and being a father. I love art, history, nature and enjoy making the world a better place. I am not sad that I left the church and furthermore, I don't hold any disdain for Christians. My journey is unique, just like each journey in faith or out of faith.
10. Not all atheists are nice. Not all are assholes! They are just people. You wouldn't want an atheist judging all of Christianity based on one jerk. Well, same with atheism. I don't like some of the atheist activists on YouTube and at conferences. That's just natural. It has to do with approach and personality. Unless you want every Christians judged by the Westborough Baptist Church... (which I know you don't) give us some leeway as well.
So let me know what you think! Thanks for your time Christians!
Steve
It's only fair that I send you an open letter because I took the time to write to fellow atheists and agnostics about good and bad ways to talk to Christians about their faith. And I think that's a productive conversation!
But I'm sure that you have a lot of misconceptions on your end about atheism. I was in your position. I had no idea what it meant to be an atheist. And I had no idea why they did not have a belief in the God of the bible. I had the same assumptions that you might have. So I want to write this out to you evangelical Christians about dialoguing with Atheists. Should we be scared of them? Do they have a holy text? Are they all the same? Are they trying to take over the world!!!! Will they eat my babies? Do they worship Satan?
1. Atheism is not ONE collective, organized position. It's one position on the claim that a God exists. So its impossible to sum up all atheists or bring them under one umbrella. That does not mean that atheists do not believe in anything. Its just an answer to the God claim. I'll use the general term Atheist, but not everything applies to every atheist. And I hope this is appreciated because I also don't lump every Christian into one group.
2. The basis for a position on the God claim usually comes from simply not being convinced there's enough evidence to have a positive position. For myself, it came from taking a rational, skeptical look at the claims and realized I did not have enough evidence to remain in the church. A lot of atheists use words like evidence, skepticism, rationality, sources etc. In other words, everything that remains when you take away emotional claims/faith.
3. Atheists do not hate God or worship Satan. I can't hate what I don't believe in. I also don't believe in a Satan... so I definitely would not worship Satan. And I don't hate the Bible or Christians or religion. The only thing that I would take a position on is protecting people who's freedoms would be taken away by legislating from the Bible.
4. The majority opinion among scholars is still that there was a historical Jesus. You may have heard most atheists do not believe in any historical figure that could have resembled Jesus of Nazareth. Even amongst Agnostic/atheist scholars, they still find convincing evidence for a historical person. There are a number of influential writers who are trying to build a case to challenge that (Mythicists.) But as of right now, they can't assail the scholarly work done by Historians.
5. Atheists do believe in morality. But it is not a morality found in a set of laws. It is a morality that has developed within social groups for survival and cooperation. This is how morality is explained and how it developed over hundreds of thousands of years even to the point of groups forming laws.
6. Atheists are not atheists just so they can get away with sinning. If a person takes a position that the bible is not the moral authority and that morality has origins in the past, sin is not a "thing." We make decisions in our own understanding of morality as part of a social group based on risk/reward. Yes, this does free the conscience from the biblical idea of 'thought police." There's no doubt about that. but people still have consequences for actions that are illegal in our society.
7. Atheists are not trying to take God out of everything. This is the focus of Christian movies and books. Activist atheists trying to impose a Godless society on the world. My perspective is historical. That's the purpose of my blog. I have no problem saying that Christianity and religion in general are huge parts of our western culture and would be incalculably different without it. Art, music, works of literature and elements of culture that are religious have value. However, my position is that we can't dictate the morality of the bible into someone else's life that does not believe in it. Christians are protected by the church and state division as well as adherents to other religions or no religion.
8. Atheists do not hate creationism. For myself, in historical perspective, the epic narrative of the book of Genesis have value in context. There's no reason why creation epics should not have a place in literature and comparative religion classes. However, they are not scientific explanations that can be taken apart and tested via the scientific method. It does not mean they have no value as literature. But they are not science. Therefore, they should not be put next to methods that are testable and repeatable.
9. Atheists do not have "nothing to live for." This is something I hear all the time. Once I left my faith, I must be miserable and destitute for meaning in my life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love my life. I find meaning in what I do. I enjoy my relationships and being a father. I love art, history, nature and enjoy making the world a better place. I am not sad that I left the church and furthermore, I don't hold any disdain for Christians. My journey is unique, just like each journey in faith or out of faith.
10. Not all atheists are nice. Not all are assholes! They are just people. You wouldn't want an atheist judging all of Christianity based on one jerk. Well, same with atheism. I don't like some of the atheist activists on YouTube and at conferences. That's just natural. It has to do with approach and personality. Unless you want every Christians judged by the Westborough Baptist Church... (which I know you don't) give us some leeway as well.
So let me know what you think! Thanks for your time Christians!
Steve
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Dear Fellow Atheists/Agnostics
Dear Friends,
I bet you're wondering why I'm writing this afternoon. I wanted to talk to you about your approach and its impact of influencing Christians. Whether on Twitter or Facebook or out in the community, you are going to come across some Christians. It is just inevitable.
I'm mainly writing to you who were never in the church. Yes, that does mean you have a lot less guilt-sorting and drama, but it also means you might be at a disadvantage when talking to Christians. It's hard to understand the other side when you've been (thankfully) on the side of rhetoric, skepticism and common sense.
I wish I had learned about Darwin from a teacher and been like "yeah, that sounds about right." Instead, I learned the name Darwin in the same breath as "Evolutionist truth hating secularists."
And you probably had sex for the first time and were like "that was fun, I enjoyed that, good condom choice." Instead, I was like "I think we need to confess this in church, I hate myself! It felt so good, but I'm so disgusting."
Yeah, I know. Ex-evangelicals are a bit messed up and probably not going to be exactly the same. I know because I am one of them! But it might help me (now) to talk to Christians and see where they are coming from.
So today, my heathen friends, I want to give you a list of Do's and Don'ts. Why? Well, probably because of the propensity for Christians to frame their whole lives around lists of rules and it still feels natural! (should possibly mention that to my therapist.)
Do's and Don'ts of Talking to Christians about their Faith
1. Don't assume that they are ignorant about science because they are believers
I mean, this is completely possible. But I don't think I had a disdain for science or huge ignorance about whether science worked while I was a Christian. And that actually helped me get out of the idea of Creationism pretty quickly! I mean, science is a great subject to bring up and can usually bridge a gap because its testable and verifiable.
2. Do ask questions about science and basic idea of what is testable. Despite a giant Ark Encounter park and fake scientist Ken Ham's notoriety, I don't think most Christians are Young Earth Creationists. For myself, I knew the earth wasn't 6000 years old, I just wasn't sure how it all fit together.
3. Don't attack their well wishes and messages that have nothing to do with religion. This is annoying to me. I'm going through Twitter and all a Christian said was "my thoughts and prayers are with you," or "God Bless" etc. And some Atheist armchair activist will say "I don't believe in God!" or attack the idea of Thoughts and prayers. Usually, this is not an attempt to convert you, its just their second nature and they don't realize they are doing it.
4. Don't assume that every Christian adheres to the same Fundamentalism as the groups that you love to hate. A large amount of Christians are LGBTQ supporters, even if their church is not. In fact, every single Christian in that church probably has a different view on a number of subjects. I went to a church that preached YEC and biblical marriage but I was not the only one that didn't agree with that. I was leaning towards pro-choice but didn't care who married who and thought anyone should be able to believe what they wanted.
5. Do ask them about their faith and get into the reasons they personally believe! Usually, belief in God will be deeply personal and they can share how they came to that decision. (Even if it makes no logical sense to you.) Most adults who grew up in the church are not still forced to be in it (although some are) but most made a decision in adulthood to stay. And it is more complicated than that. Maybe they left their home church and then bounced around etc.
6. Don't assume everyone is in a cult where they sit around and have no fun. I had a blast in High School. We were always going to Six Flags, water parks, bonfires, game nights (mafia etc) summer camp (which was fun) and I enjoyed singing as well as simply being with awesome friends. People are rarely held in a church by a chain. In my experience, it was my whole sense of community. And not everyone is a prude. There's exciting crushes, romance, juicy gossip, divorce, cheating etc.
7. Do ask about what they love about their church and their sense of community. Don't bash the idea of community. Ask about what things they like to do, who's cooking sucks at potlocks, their favorite hymn, favorite secular music, movies. In my experience, Christians have good taste in beers and wine. Those who enjoy studying Greek in their spare time certainly know how to get a Beer aficionados magazine and find a highly rated IPA.
8. Don't simply swear at them. Look everyone, I grew up in a secular household and my dad was the best swearer in the entire world. My swear vocabulary is pretty sound. It would not bother me at all and I'd just match you. But for a lot of Christians, that is when the conversation ends. I see this all the time on Atheist Talk Shows. It is completely unhelpful and cuts off communication. It might be therapeutic for you, but what's the point if it simply stops the dialogue? Just a thought.
9. Don't assume they have no life outside of church. Even if their profile picture is him/her hugging the cross and holding a lamb, that is how they are presenting themselves. Its not necessarily the reality. And once you get to know them better, you find out that's a persona that they use in public.
10. Do discuss how religion has effected you personally. If you have a story about how a Church hurt you, or how an anti-LGBTQ Christian made you upset, or how a chauvinistic Christian bothered you, share that with them! Perhaps they can't see what certain rhetoric is doing to the rest of the world because of the Christian bubble! It brings out your humanity as well as their own. And that's important.
Churches look like bunches of identical, cookie cutter Christians. I assure you they aren't. They are communities of people from various cross-sections of every group. Sometimes they look alike culturally, but each is an individual worth talking to!
I bet you're wondering why I'm writing this afternoon. I wanted to talk to you about your approach and its impact of influencing Christians. Whether on Twitter or Facebook or out in the community, you are going to come across some Christians. It is just inevitable.
I'm mainly writing to you who were never in the church. Yes, that does mean you have a lot less guilt-sorting and drama, but it also means you might be at a disadvantage when talking to Christians. It's hard to understand the other side when you've been (thankfully) on the side of rhetoric, skepticism and common sense.
I wish I had learned about Darwin from a teacher and been like "yeah, that sounds about right." Instead, I learned the name Darwin in the same breath as "Evolutionist truth hating secularists."
And you probably had sex for the first time and were like "that was fun, I enjoyed that, good condom choice." Instead, I was like "I think we need to confess this in church, I hate myself! It felt so good, but I'm so disgusting."
Yeah, I know. Ex-evangelicals are a bit messed up and probably not going to be exactly the same. I know because I am one of them! But it might help me (now) to talk to Christians and see where they are coming from.
So today, my heathen friends, I want to give you a list of Do's and Don'ts. Why? Well, probably because of the propensity for Christians to frame their whole lives around lists of rules and it still feels natural! (should possibly mention that to my therapist.)
Do's and Don'ts of Talking to Christians about their Faith
1. Don't assume that they are ignorant about science because they are believers
I mean, this is completely possible. But I don't think I had a disdain for science or huge ignorance about whether science worked while I was a Christian. And that actually helped me get out of the idea of Creationism pretty quickly! I mean, science is a great subject to bring up and can usually bridge a gap because its testable and verifiable.
2. Do ask questions about science and basic idea of what is testable. Despite a giant Ark Encounter park and fake scientist Ken Ham's notoriety, I don't think most Christians are Young Earth Creationists. For myself, I knew the earth wasn't 6000 years old, I just wasn't sure how it all fit together.
3. Don't attack their well wishes and messages that have nothing to do with religion. This is annoying to me. I'm going through Twitter and all a Christian said was "my thoughts and prayers are with you," or "God Bless" etc. And some Atheist armchair activist will say "I don't believe in God!" or attack the idea of Thoughts and prayers. Usually, this is not an attempt to convert you, its just their second nature and they don't realize they are doing it.
4. Don't assume that every Christian adheres to the same Fundamentalism as the groups that you love to hate. A large amount of Christians are LGBTQ supporters, even if their church is not. In fact, every single Christian in that church probably has a different view on a number of subjects. I went to a church that preached YEC and biblical marriage but I was not the only one that didn't agree with that. I was leaning towards pro-choice but didn't care who married who and thought anyone should be able to believe what they wanted.
5. Do ask them about their faith and get into the reasons they personally believe! Usually, belief in God will be deeply personal and they can share how they came to that decision. (Even if it makes no logical sense to you.) Most adults who grew up in the church are not still forced to be in it (although some are) but most made a decision in adulthood to stay. And it is more complicated than that. Maybe they left their home church and then bounced around etc.
6. Don't assume everyone is in a cult where they sit around and have no fun. I had a blast in High School. We were always going to Six Flags, water parks, bonfires, game nights (mafia etc) summer camp (which was fun) and I enjoyed singing as well as simply being with awesome friends. People are rarely held in a church by a chain. In my experience, it was my whole sense of community. And not everyone is a prude. There's exciting crushes, romance, juicy gossip, divorce, cheating etc.
7. Do ask about what they love about their church and their sense of community. Don't bash the idea of community. Ask about what things they like to do, who's cooking sucks at potlocks, their favorite hymn, favorite secular music, movies. In my experience, Christians have good taste in beers and wine. Those who enjoy studying Greek in their spare time certainly know how to get a Beer aficionados magazine and find a highly rated IPA.
8. Don't simply swear at them. Look everyone, I grew up in a secular household and my dad was the best swearer in the entire world. My swear vocabulary is pretty sound. It would not bother me at all and I'd just match you. But for a lot of Christians, that is when the conversation ends. I see this all the time on Atheist Talk Shows. It is completely unhelpful and cuts off communication. It might be therapeutic for you, but what's the point if it simply stops the dialogue? Just a thought.
9. Don't assume they have no life outside of church. Even if their profile picture is him/her hugging the cross and holding a lamb, that is how they are presenting themselves. Its not necessarily the reality. And once you get to know them better, you find out that's a persona that they use in public.
10. Do discuss how religion has effected you personally. If you have a story about how a Church hurt you, or how an anti-LGBTQ Christian made you upset, or how a chauvinistic Christian bothered you, share that with them! Perhaps they can't see what certain rhetoric is doing to the rest of the world because of the Christian bubble! It brings out your humanity as well as their own. And that's important.
Churches look like bunches of identical, cookie cutter Christians. I assure you they aren't. They are communities of people from various cross-sections of every group. Sometimes they look alike culturally, but each is an individual worth talking to!
Monday, April 29, 2019
Easy Conversion
A 20 Foot Gutter Sundae, with all the toppings! As much as you could eat in one sitting.
That's all it took to entice people to come to the event, no matter where it was. And this particular event was called a Jalopy raid. We had a list of unsaved friends that we gave our Youth Group Leader and then call them up and see if the Sundae would inspire them enough to come out! This is how every event at Youth Group went. Bring friends out for food and games and then a quick message from the pastor.
A strange mix of teenage hormones, sweat and religion. Once we had eaten our fill of the ice cream and settled down from Capture the Flag or Mafia, we would sit and listen to the Pastor give us a message.
It usually went a few different ways:
"If you went out that door tonight and were hit by a car and were at the gates of heaven, what would you say to God? Why should he let you into his heaven?"
"The bible says that Adam and Eve sinned against God and were separated from Him. That's what Hell is, friend, eternal separation from his presence."
"Think of all the things people do to get to God. Good works, charity, follow the ten commandments, try to love each other, study the bible... It won't be enough in the end."
The entire summation of the bible and God's plan for salvation, dumbed down to simple steps. Anyone could make a split decision to go to heaven! And we could settle that tonight!
"It's as simple as ABC friend.
A: admit that you're a sinner in need of God's forgiveness. Romans 3:23 says For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
B: Believe in what Jesus did on the cross. That he lived a perfect life, was persecuted and crucified for our sin and paid the penalty that should have been ours!
C: Confess with your mouth and ask Christ into your hearts!"
There are 66 books in the Protestant Bible, 27 books of the New Testament. There is some 1000 years of histories, poetry, prophecy, law, genealogy and stories. Commentary books on the shortest books of the bible run multi-volume. It encompasses an ancient time frame that had different thoughts on morals, government, family relationships and nearly everything else.
But I'm going to present it to you as a A-Z books with one message and one goal and pretend that its settled and there's a quick answer to get out of this book.
Easy Conversion.
What does easy conversion look like when its played out? Well, I think we can see it in America today:
- strange attempts to apply ancient texts to different world. There's nothing in the bible about a thousand different modern topics and Iron/Bronze Age morals are impossible to apply in many cases
- An entire group of people that believe in a book they have only read in portions.
- A populace that denies basic science because nothing can challenge the belief they wrote on that decision card in the back of "Four Spiritual Laws."
- A culture that divides every human being to "saved" or "unsaved." And can't understand why people don't convert because, after all, it is so easy.
Easy conversion is supposed to be followed up with discipleship and instruction on how to read the bible. And that's usually about the time you realize that answers are heavily coded and mostly influenced by church rules and vague interpretations. It took only a few months in my church to realize that along with the check off list on the card, we were signing up for a massive amount of things.
- Time to be fitted for a purity ring and time to sign a "True love waits" card. The implications of this are staggering because its all about discipline and thought police. Everything you look at is temptation and its time to train your brain to hate that
- The complete demolishing of all secular music... At some events they even had huge bins to throw your beloved heathen music in. And that also means listening to some pretty mediocre Christian replacements.
- Beware atheist activist teachers! Yes, most Christians find that there is a huge conspiracy amongst the academic world of evil teachers who hate God because of some dark event in their lives. (See: God's not Dead...)
- Seeing everyone as "others." Everyone that is unsaved is incapable of pleasing God and is "of the world." Satan will try to influence you through them so you need to start cutting people out of your life. (or bringing them to church.)
- patriarchal without even knowing it. Indeed, this was something my sister noticed right away when she started going and I was ignorant about it. Submissive women, chest thumping men, modesty and purity. Acting as a "lady." An entire plethora of ancient precepts that they insisted was God's will for women. You already know you won't be preaching or praying or teaching Sunday School above 4th grade.
You are signing up for a complete worldview when you sign that card. And its a world view that immediately sets up inconsistencies and drama that you could never think of.
If you had to think about it, you probably wouldn't do it.
That's why the language is so simple.
ABC... and then right into a world of things you had no idea you signed up for. We need to add more letters.
That's all it took to entice people to come to the event, no matter where it was. And this particular event was called a Jalopy raid. We had a list of unsaved friends that we gave our Youth Group Leader and then call them up and see if the Sundae would inspire them enough to come out! This is how every event at Youth Group went. Bring friends out for food and games and then a quick message from the pastor.
A strange mix of teenage hormones, sweat and religion. Once we had eaten our fill of the ice cream and settled down from Capture the Flag or Mafia, we would sit and listen to the Pastor give us a message.
It usually went a few different ways:
"If you went out that door tonight and were hit by a car and were at the gates of heaven, what would you say to God? Why should he let you into his heaven?"
"The bible says that Adam and Eve sinned against God and were separated from Him. That's what Hell is, friend, eternal separation from his presence."
"Think of all the things people do to get to God. Good works, charity, follow the ten commandments, try to love each other, study the bible... It won't be enough in the end."
The entire summation of the bible and God's plan for salvation, dumbed down to simple steps. Anyone could make a split decision to go to heaven! And we could settle that tonight!
"It's as simple as ABC friend.
A: admit that you're a sinner in need of God's forgiveness. Romans 3:23 says For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
B: Believe in what Jesus did on the cross. That he lived a perfect life, was persecuted and crucified for our sin and paid the penalty that should have been ours!
C: Confess with your mouth and ask Christ into your hearts!"
There are 66 books in the Protestant Bible, 27 books of the New Testament. There is some 1000 years of histories, poetry, prophecy, law, genealogy and stories. Commentary books on the shortest books of the bible run multi-volume. It encompasses an ancient time frame that had different thoughts on morals, government, family relationships and nearly everything else.
But I'm going to present it to you as a A-Z books with one message and one goal and pretend that its settled and there's a quick answer to get out of this book.
Easy Conversion.
What does easy conversion look like when its played out? Well, I think we can see it in America today:
- strange attempts to apply ancient texts to different world. There's nothing in the bible about a thousand different modern topics and Iron/Bronze Age morals are impossible to apply in many cases
- An entire group of people that believe in a book they have only read in portions.
- A populace that denies basic science because nothing can challenge the belief they wrote on that decision card in the back of "Four Spiritual Laws."
- A culture that divides every human being to "saved" or "unsaved." And can't understand why people don't convert because, after all, it is so easy.
Easy conversion is supposed to be followed up with discipleship and instruction on how to read the bible. And that's usually about the time you realize that answers are heavily coded and mostly influenced by church rules and vague interpretations. It took only a few months in my church to realize that along with the check off list on the card, we were signing up for a massive amount of things.
- Time to be fitted for a purity ring and time to sign a "True love waits" card. The implications of this are staggering because its all about discipline and thought police. Everything you look at is temptation and its time to train your brain to hate that
- The complete demolishing of all secular music... At some events they even had huge bins to throw your beloved heathen music in. And that also means listening to some pretty mediocre Christian replacements.
- Beware atheist activist teachers! Yes, most Christians find that there is a huge conspiracy amongst the academic world of evil teachers who hate God because of some dark event in their lives. (See: God's not Dead...)
- Seeing everyone as "others." Everyone that is unsaved is incapable of pleasing God and is "of the world." Satan will try to influence you through them so you need to start cutting people out of your life. (or bringing them to church.)
- patriarchal without even knowing it. Indeed, this was something my sister noticed right away when she started going and I was ignorant about it. Submissive women, chest thumping men, modesty and purity. Acting as a "lady." An entire plethora of ancient precepts that they insisted was God's will for women. You already know you won't be preaching or praying or teaching Sunday School above 4th grade.
You are signing up for a complete worldview when you sign that card. And its a world view that immediately sets up inconsistencies and drama that you could never think of.
If you had to think about it, you probably wouldn't do it.
That's why the language is so simple.
ABC... and then right into a world of things you had no idea you signed up for. We need to add more letters.
Thursday, April 25, 2019
A network of empathy
"I'm glad you wrote that editorial. That was a bold move."
I was heading out of church and across the parking lot when two older church members stopped me.
The second person nodded, "that mayor, I can't believe what she did, she's probably a gay too. They all are"
It was the event that had rocked the evangelical bubble on the North Shore. The Mayor of Salem had chosen not to let Gordon College renew a lease they had with the Old Salem Town Hall. The reason was because their school bylaws violated new city protection for LGBTQ employees and visitors. They were a conservative Christian college and had stringent rules about same sex relationships and premarital sex. They were renting space in the Old Salem Town Hall to do a historical play regarding the Witch Trials.
I had written the editorial to counter equating a biblical view on homosexuality as "hate speech." I argued that taking one group out of the situation would not bring diversity of opinion and dialogue.
But to these older people, it made me an advocate against the "gay agenda."
I was met at work the next day by a friend who had a gay son. She had a patient demeanor and more empathy than I could ever imagine. But her eyes showed that she was hurt by what I said. She had read my post about the situation on Facebook and my editorial. And she wanted to tell me how important her son was to her, and how he struggled for years accepting who he was. He went through depression and then counseling and then fully accepted who he was.
Suddenly, I saw the face of a mother and the face of her son that would be effected by the colleges bylaws. I realized how brave it actually was for a gay person to come out in the face of ignorant people like myself who would just dismiss their whole journey as "sinful."
And it broke my heart because there was no other coworker I respected more.
My opinion didn't change overnight. But within a year I had left the church and was taking classes for my Bachelor's degree and chose a class on Human Sexuality. It completely opened my world to what it meant to grow up and discover attraction and the beauty of our sexual selves.
And the harm of conversion therapy. Which I could agree with because this was a lot like "church" therapy for topics like masturbation, pornography and many other "taboo" subjects. Discipline, confession, accountability and repeat.
I wrote a letter to my friend because I felt so bad about my previous post and editorial and asked her forgiveness. I shared with her a powerpoint that I had done on advocating for LGBTQ teens and preventing suicide. Then wrote another editorial talking about how brave this actually was for the Mayor to do with the amount of ignorant people (like myself) who just didn't get it.
A few months after the editorial I decided to volunteer for "Freedom for All Massachusetts." This was an organization that was advocating for Transgender rights. The Massachusetts legislature passed a bill protecting people from discrimination based on gender identity (the same way it protected you from discrimination based on age, sex, religion etc.) My old church and other churches got enough signatures to put this to a ballot question for voters in 2018. Voting "yes" on question 3 would keep the protection in place. A "no" vote would strip that protection.
It was a no-brainer for me now in my understanding of gender and civil rights. This was all about a person's right to exist in public. If this was repealed, it would be a travesty for human rights. So I volunteered to canvass. I met some of the most amazing human beings I've ever met in this campaign and empathy was the key word. We went door to door canvassing and the person a partnered with used him/his/their pronouns and I was able to ask every question that I ever had and he asked me all about my journey.
But also I was surprised to see various religious advocates from different groups. We were literally meeting for the event at a church the day before Easter Sunday.
Two months later I went to my first Pride Day in Boston wearing my Pride Sox hat and a Yes on Three shirt. I cannot put into words how amazing that day felt. Empathy, care and celebration of being human.
___________________________________________
Starting this blog and dialoguing with Christians and Atheists/Agnostics has brought me to realize how diverse each individual is in their thinking. There's no way to generalize what a Christian believes despite the church they belong to and their creed. Yes, there are plenty of literal/inerrant interpretation Christians. But there are literally people who believe everything between fundamentalism and progressivism.
I talk about the evangelical church because that's what I know. Its important to expose homophobia and hate, but its also important to affirm empathy and understanding.
Enter in Franklin Graham and his call for Peter Buttigieg to "repent."
This is the time for progressive Christians, agnostics, atheists and everyone in between to call out this rhetoric! To fight for individual rights against dogma and to join together to advocate for equality and protection under the law.
Its possible to come a long way on this topic. I know because I did and that doesn't make me a hero. It makes me someone that should have known better to start.
But getting out of ignorance isn't about religion. Religion varies. Its about human connection and empathy.
I was heading out of church and across the parking lot when two older church members stopped me.
The second person nodded, "that mayor, I can't believe what she did, she's probably a gay too. They all are"
It was the event that had rocked the evangelical bubble on the North Shore. The Mayor of Salem had chosen not to let Gordon College renew a lease they had with the Old Salem Town Hall. The reason was because their school bylaws violated new city protection for LGBTQ employees and visitors. They were a conservative Christian college and had stringent rules about same sex relationships and premarital sex. They were renting space in the Old Salem Town Hall to do a historical play regarding the Witch Trials.
I had written the editorial to counter equating a biblical view on homosexuality as "hate speech." I argued that taking one group out of the situation would not bring diversity of opinion and dialogue.
But to these older people, it made me an advocate against the "gay agenda."
I was met at work the next day by a friend who had a gay son. She had a patient demeanor and more empathy than I could ever imagine. But her eyes showed that she was hurt by what I said. She had read my post about the situation on Facebook and my editorial. And she wanted to tell me how important her son was to her, and how he struggled for years accepting who he was. He went through depression and then counseling and then fully accepted who he was.
Suddenly, I saw the face of a mother and the face of her son that would be effected by the colleges bylaws. I realized how brave it actually was for a gay person to come out in the face of ignorant people like myself who would just dismiss their whole journey as "sinful."
And it broke my heart because there was no other coworker I respected more.
My opinion didn't change overnight. But within a year I had left the church and was taking classes for my Bachelor's degree and chose a class on Human Sexuality. It completely opened my world to what it meant to grow up and discover attraction and the beauty of our sexual selves.
And the harm of conversion therapy. Which I could agree with because this was a lot like "church" therapy for topics like masturbation, pornography and many other "taboo" subjects. Discipline, confession, accountability and repeat.
I wrote a letter to my friend because I felt so bad about my previous post and editorial and asked her forgiveness. I shared with her a powerpoint that I had done on advocating for LGBTQ teens and preventing suicide. Then wrote another editorial talking about how brave this actually was for the Mayor to do with the amount of ignorant people (like myself) who just didn't get it.
A few months after the editorial I decided to volunteer for "Freedom for All Massachusetts." This was an organization that was advocating for Transgender rights. The Massachusetts legislature passed a bill protecting people from discrimination based on gender identity (the same way it protected you from discrimination based on age, sex, religion etc.) My old church and other churches got enough signatures to put this to a ballot question for voters in 2018. Voting "yes" on question 3 would keep the protection in place. A "no" vote would strip that protection.
It was a no-brainer for me now in my understanding of gender and civil rights. This was all about a person's right to exist in public. If this was repealed, it would be a travesty for human rights. So I volunteered to canvass. I met some of the most amazing human beings I've ever met in this campaign and empathy was the key word. We went door to door canvassing and the person a partnered with used him/his/their pronouns and I was able to ask every question that I ever had and he asked me all about my journey.
But also I was surprised to see various religious advocates from different groups. We were literally meeting for the event at a church the day before Easter Sunday.
Two months later I went to my first Pride Day in Boston wearing my Pride Sox hat and a Yes on Three shirt. I cannot put into words how amazing that day felt. Empathy, care and celebration of being human.
___________________________________________
Starting this blog and dialoguing with Christians and Atheists/Agnostics has brought me to realize how diverse each individual is in their thinking. There's no way to generalize what a Christian believes despite the church they belong to and their creed. Yes, there are plenty of literal/inerrant interpretation Christians. But there are literally people who believe everything between fundamentalism and progressivism.
I talk about the evangelical church because that's what I know. Its important to expose homophobia and hate, but its also important to affirm empathy and understanding.
Enter in Franklin Graham and his call for Peter Buttigieg to "repent."
This is the time for progressive Christians, agnostics, atheists and everyone in between to call out this rhetoric! To fight for individual rights against dogma and to join together to advocate for equality and protection under the law.
Its possible to come a long way on this topic. I know because I did and that doesn't make me a hero. It makes me someone that should have known better to start.
But getting out of ignorance isn't about religion. Religion varies. Its about human connection and empathy.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
A bigger view of the World
When I was little, I loved to hear about "the olden' days." As if we could generalize the past in one phrase! But it always fascinated me how people lived, what games kids played and what people did to pass the time! As I got older I came to understand each era and take it in context. It all started with that phrase "the olden' days." Learning about the past gave me a warm glow and that grew into my academic pursuits which are ongoing.
When I became a Christian in my teenage years, I heard this same expression used in a different way. The preaching cast an ethereal, magical canopy over the era that encompassed the Jewish scriptures and the New Testament era. There was a glow on these events through the words of the Bible. And taking Genesis as a history book, the past gets foggier and focused on this era as the origin story that explains it all. We can explain away the supernatural because of its literary beauty and convincing building blocks.
In a similar way we can see the origins of the United States as ethereal and otherworldly. People elude to characters from the past in caricature form: heroes, villains. Its a simplified way to understand history. I was on a mission to take away the fog and understand each culture in context. Regarding the United States, it didn't take long into my study to realize the absurdity of deifying or vilifying any founder. It wasn't that simple. Each player had interests and background and trying to generalize gets the historian into more and more issues. Adams was a very different person than Washington, Paine was a different thinker than Jefferson, Hancock had an agenda, so did King George and Lord North. There's so much to unload and sort out.
So we use sources to get past the glow and fog to put the events in context. These were people, they didn't exist in a vacuum. It was complicated. That's history.
But, at the same time as learning this, we come to the claims of the bible as a historical sourcebook. Could I use the same perspective I used to deconstruct other histories? or would this hold up as the one perfect, verifiable origin story? I didn't have a choice because this was the heavy lifting that I had to do to sort out the claim of the divine. Was I correct in assuming these recorded events were historically accurate? Did the validity of the bible rest on these texts being accurate?
For Christian apologists it certainly seemed that they were banking on these texts being accurate. Ken Ham's site is aptly called "Answers in Genesis." This was historic bedrock for a number of claims that were paramount to Christianity including: original sin, curse on the snake, prophecy of the seed, the historic claims of Noah, dispersion of languages, the promise to Abraham to bless all the world through his seed, the system of atonement by substitution and the list goes on and on. Not only that, but the creation account and the early history of humankind and the land claims of Israel. The fact that God spoke to one people group to preserve his word. And doing this, Christians claimed a direct descent from the promises to the Jewish people.
Just writing it out shows some deeply problematic historicity. As we look around the world, we can see religious movements rising out of an older idea of God and creating their own origin story. The issue here is that the origin story of the bible was created in a world that lacked the scientific and historical understanding and went unchallenged in the western world until those genres of study were able to sort things out. Obviously, with a monopoly on the historic view of the world, western cultures hold dearly to this foggy ethereal past. But that's why the sciences and history matter so much and using a multi-discipline approach, we can get a clear view of the past.
Before the fog rolls away, its important to state something. We can vilify this era as fraudulent all we want just like older generations venerated it. Neither is beneficial in a historic context! There is benefit to studying these works and the people of this period. And there's no way to take away the influence that they have had on Western Civilization just because we find that they also have a context. Historians have correctly stated that the world would look vastly different without Judaism or Christianity/Islam.
As the fog rolls away we see the Jewish holy texts in a wider perspective of 2nd millennium BC Canaan and the various polytheistic religions and pastoral cultures. And we see similar origin stories and values. But none of these existed in a vacuum either. Archeologists and Anthropologists are paramount to tracing civilizations back further and further and using that lateral academic approach to understanding the past better. It makes sense that the origin story of Abram starts in Ur of the Chaldeans and we see older civilizations in this area and a context for the religion of the Jewish people! It broadens our horizons and helps us find that common ground.
It also means we need to deal with inerrancy and literalism. Science couldn't be clearer regarding the development of homo sapiens from other cousins in Africa and then spreading out over the world until they were the last of the homo genus. DNA shows this and we can look back at sites all over the world to track development of culture. Evidence of tools, art and an academic approach to dating and bringing this to a consensus.
Art is a powerful tool to looking at the past. I will never forget looking at the various cave paintings that I assumed would be primitive. They were transcendent! Art that would stand the probing eye of modern artists like Picasso who saw the paintings and stated that we have created nothing new! It brought me to the point where I needed to see the world of these hunter gatherers and understand them! Otherwise, my historical curiosity would not be quenched and I'd be restless.
It opened up my eyes to the other element of scholarship: multi-ethnic and international cooperation. And that meant not holding one origin story to be silly or inerrant. But to take each one and find value in sacred works, laws and tales. A respect for the human need to tell stories and sort out the past in order to draw out morals and standards!
When the fog rolled away from the Genesis story, the world burst in a magnificent firework of beauty! The world looked bigger and also smaller because I could see commonality like never before.
When I became a Christian in my teenage years, I heard this same expression used in a different way. The preaching cast an ethereal, magical canopy over the era that encompassed the Jewish scriptures and the New Testament era. There was a glow on these events through the words of the Bible. And taking Genesis as a history book, the past gets foggier and focused on this era as the origin story that explains it all. We can explain away the supernatural because of its literary beauty and convincing building blocks.
In a similar way we can see the origins of the United States as ethereal and otherworldly. People elude to characters from the past in caricature form: heroes, villains. Its a simplified way to understand history. I was on a mission to take away the fog and understand each culture in context. Regarding the United States, it didn't take long into my study to realize the absurdity of deifying or vilifying any founder. It wasn't that simple. Each player had interests and background and trying to generalize gets the historian into more and more issues. Adams was a very different person than Washington, Paine was a different thinker than Jefferson, Hancock had an agenda, so did King George and Lord North. There's so much to unload and sort out.
So we use sources to get past the glow and fog to put the events in context. These were people, they didn't exist in a vacuum. It was complicated. That's history.
But, at the same time as learning this, we come to the claims of the bible as a historical sourcebook. Could I use the same perspective I used to deconstruct other histories? or would this hold up as the one perfect, verifiable origin story? I didn't have a choice because this was the heavy lifting that I had to do to sort out the claim of the divine. Was I correct in assuming these recorded events were historically accurate? Did the validity of the bible rest on these texts being accurate?
For Christian apologists it certainly seemed that they were banking on these texts being accurate. Ken Ham's site is aptly called "Answers in Genesis." This was historic bedrock for a number of claims that were paramount to Christianity including: original sin, curse on the snake, prophecy of the seed, the historic claims of Noah, dispersion of languages, the promise to Abraham to bless all the world through his seed, the system of atonement by substitution and the list goes on and on. Not only that, but the creation account and the early history of humankind and the land claims of Israel. The fact that God spoke to one people group to preserve his word. And doing this, Christians claimed a direct descent from the promises to the Jewish people.
Just writing it out shows some deeply problematic historicity. As we look around the world, we can see religious movements rising out of an older idea of God and creating their own origin story. The issue here is that the origin story of the bible was created in a world that lacked the scientific and historical understanding and went unchallenged in the western world until those genres of study were able to sort things out. Obviously, with a monopoly on the historic view of the world, western cultures hold dearly to this foggy ethereal past. But that's why the sciences and history matter so much and using a multi-discipline approach, we can get a clear view of the past.
Before the fog rolls away, its important to state something. We can vilify this era as fraudulent all we want just like older generations venerated it. Neither is beneficial in a historic context! There is benefit to studying these works and the people of this period. And there's no way to take away the influence that they have had on Western Civilization just because we find that they also have a context. Historians have correctly stated that the world would look vastly different without Judaism or Christianity/Islam.
As the fog rolls away we see the Jewish holy texts in a wider perspective of 2nd millennium BC Canaan and the various polytheistic religions and pastoral cultures. And we see similar origin stories and values. But none of these existed in a vacuum either. Archeologists and Anthropologists are paramount to tracing civilizations back further and further and using that lateral academic approach to understanding the past better. It makes sense that the origin story of Abram starts in Ur of the Chaldeans and we see older civilizations in this area and a context for the religion of the Jewish people! It broadens our horizons and helps us find that common ground.
It also means we need to deal with inerrancy and literalism. Science couldn't be clearer regarding the development of homo sapiens from other cousins in Africa and then spreading out over the world until they were the last of the homo genus. DNA shows this and we can look back at sites all over the world to track development of culture. Evidence of tools, art and an academic approach to dating and bringing this to a consensus.
Art is a powerful tool to looking at the past. I will never forget looking at the various cave paintings that I assumed would be primitive. They were transcendent! Art that would stand the probing eye of modern artists like Picasso who saw the paintings and stated that we have created nothing new! It brought me to the point where I needed to see the world of these hunter gatherers and understand them! Otherwise, my historical curiosity would not be quenched and I'd be restless.
It opened up my eyes to the other element of scholarship: multi-ethnic and international cooperation. And that meant not holding one origin story to be silly or inerrant. But to take each one and find value in sacred works, laws and tales. A respect for the human need to tell stories and sort out the past in order to draw out morals and standards!
When the fog rolled away from the Genesis story, the world burst in a magnificent firework of beauty! The world looked bigger and also smaller because I could see commonality like never before.
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
A historian walks into a church
Theologians are not historians. That's the first thing you learn when you start listening to their arguments. Historians study how a group of people worshipped, but it doesn't make a distinction in the truth claims of each religion. Theologians want it both ways. Not only to look at the bible as sober history, but also infer inerrancy.
It happens subtly. No Christian apologist will start off an attempted conversion from a historical avenue. The process will start with an appeal to emotion tied to personal responsibility to the moral teachings of the bible. If there are some questions about historicity, they are dealt with tactfully without discussing the gaping holes in the record. The goal is to bring the "sinner" to the foot of the cross and make an emotional decision. Everything else will be explained by the "spirit of God."
The "Four Spiritual Laws" does not have an appendix that shows historical footnotes that support the claims. No altar call is preceded by a discussion of the authorship of Mark. The purpose is to commit to the emotional appeal of the faith and get you invested in it! Once you are emotionally invested in the theological end of the arguments, historical inaccuracies are easier to explain away. Then you can appeal to interpretation and discover the myriad of arguments meant to simply fend off "unbelievers."
Pretty soon, you hear yourself saying the same things as other Christians. "You don't want to be believe in Jesus because of your sin, not because of the history around it."
The arguments turn into you having a value of truth in your statements that are backed up by the Spirit of God who has placed these in your heart. All of a sudden, you have an upper hand on these people attempting to throw "secular" arguments (like historicity) at the gospel. It is a short jump to seeing a giant "atheist conspiracy" in the historical arguments and that their lack of a moral center is the deciding factor in not accepting the inerrancy of the bible.
A good apologists will have the Seminary level expertise in dodging the common questions on: genocide, free will, marriage, omniscience and transubstantiation but that dodging is not meant to convince a person of the historicity of the bible. The goal is to dodge the surface level questions in order to get a person to think of the bible as a A-Z book of answers and focus the spotlight on the spiritual condition of the questioner. Staying on the historicity debate will soon show the holes in the work and that's not beneficial to the theologian. The statement is made that the bible is a great history book because its "His-story."
The dabbling into historicity is a tricky scenario for the theologian because then you have to reckon with the thousands of episodes of miracles, zombies, talking animals, 900 year old people, rock giants (nephilim), floating zoos and virgin birth. All of these can be found in works that are contemporary to the bible and that's a problem. There are a number of smokescreens that theologians put up to divert attention away from this. The unique character of Jesus is usually stated to counter any argument. There were a lot of people claiming to be divine in history, but Jesus was what one of my pastors referred to as "the only original in a world of carbon copies."
The problem is, you can't just accept the interesting and edifying teachings of this character, you have to face his claims of divinity. And that is tied to your own personal responsibility as a person before the God that created you... In other words, guilt will bring you to the cross and general statements about "have you broken God's laws?" The "Way of the Master" ministry takes this approach with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort confronting people with the Ten Commandments and getting to the quick fact that we all break "God's law." Its a quick jump to personal responsibility without having to go through the heavy lifting of discussion if this is all true.
The first appeal is made to the element that will do all the heavy lifting for the Christian: feeling.
Feeling will bring you to biblical inerrancy without having to go through the hard questions. You fully accept the inerrancy of this book before even reading it. In fact, so many Christians throw up the defense of inerrancy without having looked at the claims at all. Because the fuzzy warm feeling inside is enough for them, it should be enough for anyone.
Listen to any atheist call-in shows like the "Atheist Experience" and its clear that the arguments every Christian uses show the progression of their conversion. They weren't saved through historical arguments and can't counter the hosts points, but they CAN and WILL make the claim to inerrancy and personal responsibility in a heart beat! How many times has the argument been made "you are rejecting the almighty God because of your hatred and because of sin."
In my life, I had a knowledge about God inside but didn't realize it was made of the same material any other shared idea was made out of: feelings. And its hard to go back to that first moment when I was saved but the basis of that decision was not intellect first, but feeling! I have discussed this before in the blog where I was face to face with this caricature of Jesus and had to make a split second decision because I could walk out of the auditorium and be faced with a Christ-less eternity!
You assume that the factual work has already been done. So you accept whatever is thrown out there until you realize that you joined something without reading the fine print. But by then, you have so much invested in the belief and your eternal destiny, there's no point in going back. That's why Christian apologists create endless wiki pages about young earth creation, biblical history and archeology sites. There is a guise of historicity without the sober examination of this era versus any other era.
That's why history was the sword that cut through my faith. Because I could not understand how archeology showed hundreds of thousands of years of development which countered any 6000 year old earth and historical "orchard thief" event. History cut through the inerrancy of the bible as I found the claims of hundreds of thousands of people in an exodus and conquest of Canaan to be unfounded. The development of the Hebrew God from polytheism and through the influences of other cultures like Persian Zoroastrianism. And then the attempt to smoosh this all together in one book that is supposed to be A-Z. Instead, its a hodge podge of ancient works that fit together as Jewish history and teachings... but that's about it.
History is the knife that cut through the claims of the New Testament and showed 4 anonymous gospels written year after the fact with no direct claim to sources. Also, most of the other books were written by Paul who made the claim he did not receive his message from human sources, but from the glorified Christ in visions/revelations. And that's all we should need to know to see this book for what it is, a compilation of stories around a figure in the 1st century, just like any other.
But, if you come to that conclusion, the appeal is made again to feeling. And fire and brimstone.
It happens subtly. No Christian apologist will start off an attempted conversion from a historical avenue. The process will start with an appeal to emotion tied to personal responsibility to the moral teachings of the bible. If there are some questions about historicity, they are dealt with tactfully without discussing the gaping holes in the record. The goal is to bring the "sinner" to the foot of the cross and make an emotional decision. Everything else will be explained by the "spirit of God."
The "Four Spiritual Laws" does not have an appendix that shows historical footnotes that support the claims. No altar call is preceded by a discussion of the authorship of Mark. The purpose is to commit to the emotional appeal of the faith and get you invested in it! Once you are emotionally invested in the theological end of the arguments, historical inaccuracies are easier to explain away. Then you can appeal to interpretation and discover the myriad of arguments meant to simply fend off "unbelievers."
Pretty soon, you hear yourself saying the same things as other Christians. "You don't want to be believe in Jesus because of your sin, not because of the history around it."
The arguments turn into you having a value of truth in your statements that are backed up by the Spirit of God who has placed these in your heart. All of a sudden, you have an upper hand on these people attempting to throw "secular" arguments (like historicity) at the gospel. It is a short jump to seeing a giant "atheist conspiracy" in the historical arguments and that their lack of a moral center is the deciding factor in not accepting the inerrancy of the bible.
A good apologists will have the Seminary level expertise in dodging the common questions on: genocide, free will, marriage, omniscience and transubstantiation but that dodging is not meant to convince a person of the historicity of the bible. The goal is to dodge the surface level questions in order to get a person to think of the bible as a A-Z book of answers and focus the spotlight on the spiritual condition of the questioner. Staying on the historicity debate will soon show the holes in the work and that's not beneficial to the theologian. The statement is made that the bible is a great history book because its "His-story."
The dabbling into historicity is a tricky scenario for the theologian because then you have to reckon with the thousands of episodes of miracles, zombies, talking animals, 900 year old people, rock giants (nephilim), floating zoos and virgin birth. All of these can be found in works that are contemporary to the bible and that's a problem. There are a number of smokescreens that theologians put up to divert attention away from this. The unique character of Jesus is usually stated to counter any argument. There were a lot of people claiming to be divine in history, but Jesus was what one of my pastors referred to as "the only original in a world of carbon copies."
The problem is, you can't just accept the interesting and edifying teachings of this character, you have to face his claims of divinity. And that is tied to your own personal responsibility as a person before the God that created you... In other words, guilt will bring you to the cross and general statements about "have you broken God's laws?" The "Way of the Master" ministry takes this approach with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort confronting people with the Ten Commandments and getting to the quick fact that we all break "God's law." Its a quick jump to personal responsibility without having to go through the heavy lifting of discussion if this is all true.
The first appeal is made to the element that will do all the heavy lifting for the Christian: feeling.
Feeling will bring you to biblical inerrancy without having to go through the hard questions. You fully accept the inerrancy of this book before even reading it. In fact, so many Christians throw up the defense of inerrancy without having looked at the claims at all. Because the fuzzy warm feeling inside is enough for them, it should be enough for anyone.
Listen to any atheist call-in shows like the "Atheist Experience" and its clear that the arguments every Christian uses show the progression of their conversion. They weren't saved through historical arguments and can't counter the hosts points, but they CAN and WILL make the claim to inerrancy and personal responsibility in a heart beat! How many times has the argument been made "you are rejecting the almighty God because of your hatred and because of sin."
In my life, I had a knowledge about God inside but didn't realize it was made of the same material any other shared idea was made out of: feelings. And its hard to go back to that first moment when I was saved but the basis of that decision was not intellect first, but feeling! I have discussed this before in the blog where I was face to face with this caricature of Jesus and had to make a split second decision because I could walk out of the auditorium and be faced with a Christ-less eternity!
You assume that the factual work has already been done. So you accept whatever is thrown out there until you realize that you joined something without reading the fine print. But by then, you have so much invested in the belief and your eternal destiny, there's no point in going back. That's why Christian apologists create endless wiki pages about young earth creation, biblical history and archeology sites. There is a guise of historicity without the sober examination of this era versus any other era.
That's why history was the sword that cut through my faith. Because I could not understand how archeology showed hundreds of thousands of years of development which countered any 6000 year old earth and historical "orchard thief" event. History cut through the inerrancy of the bible as I found the claims of hundreds of thousands of people in an exodus and conquest of Canaan to be unfounded. The development of the Hebrew God from polytheism and through the influences of other cultures like Persian Zoroastrianism. And then the attempt to smoosh this all together in one book that is supposed to be A-Z. Instead, its a hodge podge of ancient works that fit together as Jewish history and teachings... but that's about it.
History is the knife that cut through the claims of the New Testament and showed 4 anonymous gospels written year after the fact with no direct claim to sources. Also, most of the other books were written by Paul who made the claim he did not receive his message from human sources, but from the glorified Christ in visions/revelations. And that's all we should need to know to see this book for what it is, a compilation of stories around a figure in the 1st century, just like any other.
But, if you come to that conclusion, the appeal is made again to feeling. And fire and brimstone.
Monday, April 22, 2019
Nothing to die for
We had purpose for our lives.
That's what we were told. In a world of billions of people living for sin and self, we were enlightened. It was like the veil of time was pulled away and the plan of the universe was revealed to us!
We had truth! The truth of the Bible and the plan of God. And we had the cure for a sin-sick world. Jesus Christ! We held the answer to every question and the eternal view of the world on the brink of apocalypse. In fact, I was told by one preacher that the "rapture" was so close, it didn't make sense to buy green bananas anymore. I had a bumper sticker on my car that said "in case of rapture, car will be unoccupied."
And being a Christian teenager in this era? We were the tip of the sword! And I had all the answers! In my book.
I was told again and again that without Christ, we have nothing to live for. We might as well go out, eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we might die. The cares of today are not worthy to compare to the brilliance of eternity that awaits us! If people only knew the truth, they would turn from their ignorance and self reliance and find level ground at the foot of the cross. Join in the chorus of the ages and look forward to eternity!
For a depressed teenager and twenty-something, it was all I had to look forward to.
It was wrong to find satisfaction in the things of this world. So being in a difficult marriage was ok. There was heaven to look forward to. Same with fixing body ailments and self care. None of that mattered! All of that was vanity and selfishness. More of him, less of me. And that was fine! I couldn't stand myself!
Moods went up and down and I attempted to find meaning in the scriptures. And try to make sense of why I was so weak and sad. It was because of: sin...
I had a despondent outlook when anything secular seemed to challenge the word of God. Gay marriage, abortion, Israel etc. It was coming, God's wrath... I wish they would understand.
I really did feel that I had nothing to live for. And everything to die for. In fact, in a secret part of my heart I saw a great deal of bravery in suicide... they were free and in the presence of God! And I was stuck here.
I've written in this blog about the blinders that were on my eyes and the ignorance that I had in my mind. And when I stepped back from the Christian bubble, I finally woke up to the reality of life.
Treating clinical depression and talking to people about it for the first time, I realized how blind I had been to the beauty of the world! Life bursting all around! Human connection! Hope for today, where I was, in the situation I was in! Not more slow death march to a paradise that was becoming ever fuzzier. But amazement in the moment!
It took a long time, but I could look at myself in a mirror. I could smile and feel my humanity and my place amongst others.
I had nothing to die for! I wanted to see my kids grow up and be a dad to them at each stage in their lives. I wanted to experience the world in a million ways and enjoy the company of my fellow humans.
If I could preach and testify now in front of a crowd of fellow sinners I would shout Carpe Diem and seek out their humanity and shared experiences as we all suck the marrow out of life and enjoy each other!
Everything to live for, nothing to die for! My message for the day :)
That's what we were told. In a world of billions of people living for sin and self, we were enlightened. It was like the veil of time was pulled away and the plan of the universe was revealed to us!
We had truth! The truth of the Bible and the plan of God. And we had the cure for a sin-sick world. Jesus Christ! We held the answer to every question and the eternal view of the world on the brink of apocalypse. In fact, I was told by one preacher that the "rapture" was so close, it didn't make sense to buy green bananas anymore. I had a bumper sticker on my car that said "in case of rapture, car will be unoccupied."
And being a Christian teenager in this era? We were the tip of the sword! And I had all the answers! In my book.
I was told again and again that without Christ, we have nothing to live for. We might as well go out, eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we might die. The cares of today are not worthy to compare to the brilliance of eternity that awaits us! If people only knew the truth, they would turn from their ignorance and self reliance and find level ground at the foot of the cross. Join in the chorus of the ages and look forward to eternity!
For a depressed teenager and twenty-something, it was all I had to look forward to.
It was wrong to find satisfaction in the things of this world. So being in a difficult marriage was ok. There was heaven to look forward to. Same with fixing body ailments and self care. None of that mattered! All of that was vanity and selfishness. More of him, less of me. And that was fine! I couldn't stand myself!
Moods went up and down and I attempted to find meaning in the scriptures. And try to make sense of why I was so weak and sad. It was because of: sin...
I had a despondent outlook when anything secular seemed to challenge the word of God. Gay marriage, abortion, Israel etc. It was coming, God's wrath... I wish they would understand.
I really did feel that I had nothing to live for. And everything to die for. In fact, in a secret part of my heart I saw a great deal of bravery in suicide... they were free and in the presence of God! And I was stuck here.
I've written in this blog about the blinders that were on my eyes and the ignorance that I had in my mind. And when I stepped back from the Christian bubble, I finally woke up to the reality of life.
Treating clinical depression and talking to people about it for the first time, I realized how blind I had been to the beauty of the world! Life bursting all around! Human connection! Hope for today, where I was, in the situation I was in! Not more slow death march to a paradise that was becoming ever fuzzier. But amazement in the moment!
It took a long time, but I could look at myself in a mirror. I could smile and feel my humanity and my place amongst others.
I had nothing to die for! I wanted to see my kids grow up and be a dad to them at each stage in their lives. I wanted to experience the world in a million ways and enjoy the company of my fellow humans.
If I could preach and testify now in front of a crowd of fellow sinners I would shout Carpe Diem and seek out their humanity and shared experiences as we all suck the marrow out of life and enjoy each other!
Everything to live for, nothing to die for! My message for the day :)
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Guilt ecstasy
"He did that... For me." That was the purpose of the two-hour long rates R debacle known as "The Passion of the Christ." The entire premise, besides a anti-semitism, was to imagine the pain that Jesus went through. For us.
It's appropriately called "torture porn" because the focus is on the sound and feel of the beating and mocking. Seeing blood and ripped off flesh is purposeful. It should have been me. It should have been you.
Why exactly did we deserve it?
Well, as a historically reasonable, educated adult it's clear that the origins lie in a talking snake in a utopian garden with the first created couple skipping some millions of years of physical and cognitive development. And in this configuration, the all-knowing creator made a tree that would cause all people to spiritually die if they ate it. And when it happened (despite being all knowing) he was taken aback by this and cursed everyone involved.
Thats why child birth hurts, thorns exist and this previously legged-snake now slithers?
Well, at least that's the spin that in a final form some time around Ezra's lifespan and after a differentiated afterlife and a dualist perspective was established from Zoroastrianism! (post-exile)
My eye twitches as I hear theologians attempt to claim that the gospels are independent contemporary accounts that somehow corroborate each other... Despite the fact 2 are mimicking Mark. And one was written 60 years after the events. I can't really decide what burden of proof they have for "historical fact." It's a bit puzzling. I'm debating which movie was more accurate, Passion or Mel Gibson's terrible, irksome movie The Patriot... Sadly it might be the Patriot... At least there's a vague guess that he got something correct.
Oh boy... History. Why do people treat you like this. Truly, there may have been better first hand accounts in Troy! And that movie has some badass sword fighting!
What did history ever do to you, Mel Gibson?
This is why we can't have nice things... Good historically brilliant movies like Master and Commander and Gettysburg. Because they don't have a scene that makes you hate yourself telling a 2nd hand, 2nd or 3rd generation allegorical story. Ironically, we watch deep documentaries and spot-on movies about civil rights, LGBTQ and women's rights and somehow none of that has the effect that this junk shock based movie has on believers!
Watch Rosewood and a documentary about Emmit Till or On the basis of Sex or Philadelphia and see if any of that pricks the conscience like this torture porn CGI caricature.
It should have been me.
He took my place.
Where is that same Guilt and fire for experiences that are historical fact, documented and clear? Why do we feel nothing for those?
Do we see that pain in the eyes of children in Yemen, the faces of refugees at our border begging for asylum? The homeless? The sexual assault victims, orphaned children, etc etc
Instead, we cry because of CGI blood in a story that is probably predominantly allegorical and/or based on a real man, one of dozens of the "messiah" characters of the first century.
Hearing the nails strike the hands, the scream and the "father forgive them."
A proported cover up and epic trial and movement that No one seemed to notice in contemporary writing. No zombies, no earthquake or witnesses to raising the dead or healing the sick...
History is being used as a fool.
Friday, April 19, 2019
Three little pigs and the Garden of Eden
Imagination has always been my retreat. I've had an active imagination from childhood and into adulthood. It is a powerful tool in our development of concepts and ideas. What does bravery look like? Well, we can imagine ourselves in brave acts. What does love look like? We do the same thing. And on to the list are topics from kindness, humor, justice etc. We internalize and imagine what all these things feel like, look like and how they are demonstrated.
This is true for any concept. We are told about nationalism. Well, after a few patriotic movies, songs and speeches we can imagine it! The only tangible place it rests is in our imagination. And I can only think that this is how people groups started to be able to interact peacefully, through shared imaginations. Yuval Noah Harari discussed this in "Sapiens A brief History of Humankind." Shared imaginary myths like nationalism, religion, concepts like human rights or Socialism have no reality outside of shared beliefs. But they are powerful!
For a long time I was under the shared imagination of the concept of "original sin." This was the kingpin in the teachings of Christianity. I internalized the shared story of the Garden of Eden and could give a pretty thorough description of what I imagined. I took some images from books, sermons, movies and came up with what I assumed each person looked like and sounded like. And as I went deeper, it became more real to me! Just like imagining what the last stand at the Alamo felt like or being in the front row at a Beatles concert. Vivid in parts and vague in others.
I could imagine a moment in time where a brunette woman (her breasts would be covered by astronomically long hair) is reaching towards some type of fruit at the insistence of a snake. And then imagine the temptation, grief, hurt, pain and self-loathing that followed that first bite. The shock of a different world opening up with a concept of sin and curse. And in a way, when we all hear the story and internalize it, the entire outlook of the world changes.
It did for me.
All of a sudden, I felt dirty and naked, just like my caricature of trembling Adam and Eve hiding from the presence of God. Whenever I did something that could be "sinful" I felt the collective shame of a thousand imaginations! Also, I went to church where each mind wraps around the entire concept and joins together to make sense and clarify imagination. Retelling of bible stories about sin, a fresh perspective on the garden. Shining a light on a particular sin so that it colors your mind in a different hue. Sharing "struggles" of our ability to control areas and experiencing the guilt.
Then I go back to the day I really started to consider where my concept of sin came from.
What if that had never happened. No actual historical event where a snake talked to a woman in a perfect garden... In fact, it didn't make a lot of sense except as an allegory.
So God made the tree? And the snake? And he knows all things? And he still allowed Satan to be created, rebel, be cast out, sneak into a garden where you put a tree that could be used to disobey you? And then... punish the two most beloved creations made in "our" image?
Sin started to look like a familiar story. A familiar shared concept that enters the imagination and takes root. In a similar fairy tale to the story of ingenuity in the "Three Little Pigs" and determination in "The Little Engine That Could."
It blew my mind when I really considered it might not be true. And then when you realize the hundreds of thousands of years that brought Homo Sapiens to Canaan when this was supposed to have happened, the story has a lot in common with any other collective fable.
Shared imagination can be powerful. This is how we get to civil rights, nationalism, and the idea of freedom itself.
But its time to look at what we internalize and discuss what it's origin story is.
If its a cartoon tree in a caricature forest and that's what makes us hate ourselves for swearing, having sex and enjoying a beer, it might be time to get rid of it.
This is true for any concept. We are told about nationalism. Well, after a few patriotic movies, songs and speeches we can imagine it! The only tangible place it rests is in our imagination. And I can only think that this is how people groups started to be able to interact peacefully, through shared imaginations. Yuval Noah Harari discussed this in "Sapiens A brief History of Humankind." Shared imaginary myths like nationalism, religion, concepts like human rights or Socialism have no reality outside of shared beliefs. But they are powerful!
For a long time I was under the shared imagination of the concept of "original sin." This was the kingpin in the teachings of Christianity. I internalized the shared story of the Garden of Eden and could give a pretty thorough description of what I imagined. I took some images from books, sermons, movies and came up with what I assumed each person looked like and sounded like. And as I went deeper, it became more real to me! Just like imagining what the last stand at the Alamo felt like or being in the front row at a Beatles concert. Vivid in parts and vague in others.
I could imagine a moment in time where a brunette woman (her breasts would be covered by astronomically long hair) is reaching towards some type of fruit at the insistence of a snake. And then imagine the temptation, grief, hurt, pain and self-loathing that followed that first bite. The shock of a different world opening up with a concept of sin and curse. And in a way, when we all hear the story and internalize it, the entire outlook of the world changes.
It did for me.
All of a sudden, I felt dirty and naked, just like my caricature of trembling Adam and Eve hiding from the presence of God. Whenever I did something that could be "sinful" I felt the collective shame of a thousand imaginations! Also, I went to church where each mind wraps around the entire concept and joins together to make sense and clarify imagination. Retelling of bible stories about sin, a fresh perspective on the garden. Shining a light on a particular sin so that it colors your mind in a different hue. Sharing "struggles" of our ability to control areas and experiencing the guilt.
Then I go back to the day I really started to consider where my concept of sin came from.
What if that had never happened. No actual historical event where a snake talked to a woman in a perfect garden... In fact, it didn't make a lot of sense except as an allegory.
So God made the tree? And the snake? And he knows all things? And he still allowed Satan to be created, rebel, be cast out, sneak into a garden where you put a tree that could be used to disobey you? And then... punish the two most beloved creations made in "our" image?
Sin started to look like a familiar story. A familiar shared concept that enters the imagination and takes root. In a similar fairy tale to the story of ingenuity in the "Three Little Pigs" and determination in "The Little Engine That Could."
It blew my mind when I really considered it might not be true. And then when you realize the hundreds of thousands of years that brought Homo Sapiens to Canaan when this was supposed to have happened, the story has a lot in common with any other collective fable.
Shared imagination can be powerful. This is how we get to civil rights, nationalism, and the idea of freedom itself.
But its time to look at what we internalize and discuss what it's origin story is.
If its a cartoon tree in a caricature forest and that's what makes us hate ourselves for swearing, having sex and enjoying a beer, it might be time to get rid of it.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
So what?
So far, my blogs have talked about my journey out of Evangelical Christianity. I will continue to discuss those steps and how I felt along the way. But today, it is time for the "So What?" question. Is this blog just about Christian bashing or the evilness of religion? Absolutely not!
#1 - If I don't stand for religion (and Christianity in general) what do I stand for?
For humanism. For the rights of others as they go through their lives and enjoy the same sunshine as everyone else. My goal is to fight for people who do not have a voice in the world. History is a powerful teacher in this context because we know why today's society looks the way it does and why groups are discriminated against and can't get a fair shake.
That's why women's rights are paramount to my worldview. Changing the norms and shaking the patriarchal tree of today's society. Making people accountable to each other and calling out misogynists and inequality. Included in this is the paramount objective of making sure women have the right to make decisions regarding their body and have the access to healthcare that they need!
The reality of racism and how we got there as well. Challenging the ignorance of the past and the historical facts of invasion, enslavement and degradation of people of color. From Native Americans to Africans brought over in the most despicable "trade" and the billions of $$$ that early Americans profited. Exposing the history of racism and the journey that brought this country to the civil war, reconstruction, the Jim Crow norms and scientific racist theory. And then discussing the biggest example of racist theory on display in Hitler's NAZI party. Those policies opened the mind's of the leaders to the reality of where racism could go. And of course, the civil rights movement that is ongoing today.
LGBTQ rights! The right to make choices as an individual regarding your choice of partner, your gender identity and to not be discriminated against for any of these choices. This is civil rights and activists in this area deserve that label. Not allowing any group, religious or not, to inhibit the rights of others based on their orientation or identity. Fighting for equal rights under the law! And fighting ignorance. Because I was once ignorant about this and I want people to realize the humanity of others.
Environment! My passion to bring science to the forefront of conversation and combat Climate Change. I'm new to this field, but it does not take any deep delving into the subject to see that this is a reality and that there are ways to combat this.
#2 - What is my goal in interacting with religious and non-religious people on twitter and out in the world?
Dialogue! Get people talking and seeing the world through different eyes! Shake the norms of the world and the barriers that keep people from talking. Find a way to challenge hateful expressions of belief (or disbelief) and instead discuss how important humanism is. Period. The common bond of fellow humans that allows us to look in each other's eyes and find something that we share. Call it "cosmic spark" or "soul" or "fellow sojourner" it doesn't matter. Find commonality! Yes, expose ignorance in a kind/frank manner. But get to the point where the discussion turns to ensuring the above mentioned causes find support.
Roger Williams was always my Rhode Island hero (besides Nathaniel Greene) and his writings on conscience were paramount to my journey as a humanist. He was a staunch puritan and yet he was kicked out of Massachusetts Bay Colony. He believed that matters of conscience belonged between God and the individual and that government could not dictate conscience (obviously a modern paraphrase with embellishment, maybe in another blog we'll get to sources.) That's the way I started to see the role of government and the role of humans to other humans.
#3 - What do I have to share and add to the conversation?
No doubt I will share why I left the Evangelical Church but I hope I can add more that "what I'm not." I'm also not a mechanic, nor a painter or a vegetarian. What can I add? My historical knowledge in context so that I can question and bring about discussion about rights and progress. And bring Love into the conversation because I would not be my mother's son without looking empathetically at others. What does each person value: family, their parents, children, friends... And bring the subject of love up to break down the barriers of loving someone based on an ideology. To see each person as a person!
I will continue to kindly call out the beliefs that show ignorance of history and science. Not to shame the person but to realize how those beliefs can inhibit the rights of others. That's my goal and that's where I'm coming from.
#1 - If I don't stand for religion (and Christianity in general) what do I stand for?
For humanism. For the rights of others as they go through their lives and enjoy the same sunshine as everyone else. My goal is to fight for people who do not have a voice in the world. History is a powerful teacher in this context because we know why today's society looks the way it does and why groups are discriminated against and can't get a fair shake.
That's why women's rights are paramount to my worldview. Changing the norms and shaking the patriarchal tree of today's society. Making people accountable to each other and calling out misogynists and inequality. Included in this is the paramount objective of making sure women have the right to make decisions regarding their body and have the access to healthcare that they need!
The reality of racism and how we got there as well. Challenging the ignorance of the past and the historical facts of invasion, enslavement and degradation of people of color. From Native Americans to Africans brought over in the most despicable "trade" and the billions of $$$ that early Americans profited. Exposing the history of racism and the journey that brought this country to the civil war, reconstruction, the Jim Crow norms and scientific racist theory. And then discussing the biggest example of racist theory on display in Hitler's NAZI party. Those policies opened the mind's of the leaders to the reality of where racism could go. And of course, the civil rights movement that is ongoing today.
LGBTQ rights! The right to make choices as an individual regarding your choice of partner, your gender identity and to not be discriminated against for any of these choices. This is civil rights and activists in this area deserve that label. Not allowing any group, religious or not, to inhibit the rights of others based on their orientation or identity. Fighting for equal rights under the law! And fighting ignorance. Because I was once ignorant about this and I want people to realize the humanity of others.
Environment! My passion to bring science to the forefront of conversation and combat Climate Change. I'm new to this field, but it does not take any deep delving into the subject to see that this is a reality and that there are ways to combat this.
#2 - What is my goal in interacting with religious and non-religious people on twitter and out in the world?
Dialogue! Get people talking and seeing the world through different eyes! Shake the norms of the world and the barriers that keep people from talking. Find a way to challenge hateful expressions of belief (or disbelief) and instead discuss how important humanism is. Period. The common bond of fellow humans that allows us to look in each other's eyes and find something that we share. Call it "cosmic spark" or "soul" or "fellow sojourner" it doesn't matter. Find commonality! Yes, expose ignorance in a kind/frank manner. But get to the point where the discussion turns to ensuring the above mentioned causes find support.
Roger Williams was always my Rhode Island hero (besides Nathaniel Greene) and his writings on conscience were paramount to my journey as a humanist. He was a staunch puritan and yet he was kicked out of Massachusetts Bay Colony. He believed that matters of conscience belonged between God and the individual and that government could not dictate conscience (obviously a modern paraphrase with embellishment, maybe in another blog we'll get to sources.) That's the way I started to see the role of government and the role of humans to other humans.
#3 - What do I have to share and add to the conversation?
No doubt I will share why I left the Evangelical Church but I hope I can add more that "what I'm not." I'm also not a mechanic, nor a painter or a vegetarian. What can I add? My historical knowledge in context so that I can question and bring about discussion about rights and progress. And bring Love into the conversation because I would not be my mother's son without looking empathetically at others. What does each person value: family, their parents, children, friends... And bring the subject of love up to break down the barriers of loving someone based on an ideology. To see each person as a person!
I will continue to kindly call out the beliefs that show ignorance of history and science. Not to shame the person but to realize how those beliefs can inhibit the rights of others. That's my goal and that's where I'm coming from.
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Proselytizing at the grave
I have been honored and humbled to give 4 eulogies in my life. First was my mom, who died from Pancreatic cancer when I was 27. Two years later it was my dad. In 2015, I gave a eulogy for my brother in law and recently for my ex-mother-in-law.
As a Christian, I had dual purpose in my eulogy. First to praise God in some way for the life of the person. Secondly to capture who they were to the best of my ability. Funny stories and stories that captured their humanity. Stories to make you laugh and cry, smile and contemplate. But I realized, in all 4 services, the goal was to bring sinners (who would never come into a church) to the grave in order to bring them to repentance.
How do I know? Because they all said that. In each sermon they said exactly that. And the stories that they told about the deceased had precious little to do with the person. But it was building on a thesis in their life of when they realized they needed Christ. And how, if they were alive, they would want you do think about the same thing.
Point in fact: My father was NOT a religious man. When my mom died, he did start going to church and find comfort. But he was a blue-collar, gruff, hilarious guy with a big heart and an accomplished swearing vocabulary. My parents had moved down to North Carolina in 2002 and that's when I was first acquainted with the "church on every corner" culture. Their small town had something like four churches. When he passed away, within two days they had a 2 hour service complete with sets of music and a lengthy sermon. It was cookie cutter and felt like: insert name here. But it wasn't about him. It was about preaching to the choir (literally the whole church seemed to be in the choir...)
I did touch upon his faith in my Eulogy. But I wanted to paint a complete picture of who he was, including the time he made anatomically correct Snow-women on the front lawn...
My Mom's service was similar. She was spiritual, but not religious for most of her life. She was definitely a child of the 60s with interests in natural healing, crystals, Reflexology and I still remember the pungent smell of Kombucha mushroom tea fermenting in the pantry. The sermon was all about her deep faith in the cookie cutter evangelical faith and did not at all reflect her views. Again, my eulogy did focus on her search for faith, but that was a small part. She was empathetic in a way I have never seen. She was sweet and quirky, but had a fierce love for anyone in need. A love that inspired me, although we drove each other absolutely crazy.
But I didn't notice the spin until it came to my ex-mother-in-law and her service. This was my first Eulogy as a humanist. I wrote it out knowing that 95% of the people there would be from the church I used to attend. But I didn't write it for them. I wrote it for my ex-wife and her family including her father who was sitting near me. I wrote it to bring out her humanity and her struggle as part of a collective struggle. To draw on each other and find common bond in our journeys. I tried to make people laugh with my anecdotes and stories and smile to think of her as a person. Not the object of a preacher's altar call.
I knew I did my job when one woman from the church looked me in the eye after (she knew I had left the church) and said "I hope you took what the pastor said to heart. And I hope you repent." I smiled, Yes! I had done my job. I had cut through the false feeling of peace that some people had to make them face the sweet memory of this mother, wife, grandmother, aunt, sister and friend. I had reached her humanity! It was their chance to recruit followers by casting a shadow on the grave. It was my chance to turn to the people there and remind them that a grave is waiting for everyone of every faith. What is important is the memories we made, the people we touched, the connections that we made, not the post-mortem shadow.
It was a wonderful feeling to break through the proselytizing. When I was a Christian, I felt cheated out of the chance to mourn by the focus on God's justice, love and his will. I had to quickly "be ok with it" and move right on to sharing the gospel. But I wasn't ok with either of my parent's death. I wasn't ok at all. I wanted to cry, I wanted to remember! I wanted to be human and think about who each person was and build a dam of memories against the onslaught of time. I had lost something along with others that were close to them. I wanted time to weep before it became an advertisement.
None of these preachers are hustlers or bad people. Each had a profound influence on me as a person. But funerals should not be about telling a person they will end up like the deceased and they need to deal with that... just my opinion, of course!
How do I know? Because they all said that. In each sermon they said exactly that. And the stories that they told about the deceased had precious little to do with the person. But it was building on a thesis in their life of when they realized they needed Christ. And how, if they were alive, they would want you do think about the same thing.
Point in fact: My father was NOT a religious man. When my mom died, he did start going to church and find comfort. But he was a blue-collar, gruff, hilarious guy with a big heart and an accomplished swearing vocabulary. My parents had moved down to North Carolina in 2002 and that's when I was first acquainted with the "church on every corner" culture. Their small town had something like four churches. When he passed away, within two days they had a 2 hour service complete with sets of music and a lengthy sermon. It was cookie cutter and felt like: insert name here. But it wasn't about him. It was about preaching to the choir (literally the whole church seemed to be in the choir...)
I did touch upon his faith in my Eulogy. But I wanted to paint a complete picture of who he was, including the time he made anatomically correct Snow-women on the front lawn...
My Mom's service was similar. She was spiritual, but not religious for most of her life. She was definitely a child of the 60s with interests in natural healing, crystals, Reflexology and I still remember the pungent smell of Kombucha mushroom tea fermenting in the pantry. The sermon was all about her deep faith in the cookie cutter evangelical faith and did not at all reflect her views. Again, my eulogy did focus on her search for faith, but that was a small part. She was empathetic in a way I have never seen. She was sweet and quirky, but had a fierce love for anyone in need. A love that inspired me, although we drove each other absolutely crazy.
But I didn't notice the spin until it came to my ex-mother-in-law and her service. This was my first Eulogy as a humanist. I wrote it out knowing that 95% of the people there would be from the church I used to attend. But I didn't write it for them. I wrote it for my ex-wife and her family including her father who was sitting near me. I wrote it to bring out her humanity and her struggle as part of a collective struggle. To draw on each other and find common bond in our journeys. I tried to make people laugh with my anecdotes and stories and smile to think of her as a person. Not the object of a preacher's altar call.
I knew I did my job when one woman from the church looked me in the eye after (she knew I had left the church) and said "I hope you took what the pastor said to heart. And I hope you repent." I smiled, Yes! I had done my job. I had cut through the false feeling of peace that some people had to make them face the sweet memory of this mother, wife, grandmother, aunt, sister and friend. I had reached her humanity! It was their chance to recruit followers by casting a shadow on the grave. It was my chance to turn to the people there and remind them that a grave is waiting for everyone of every faith. What is important is the memories we made, the people we touched, the connections that we made, not the post-mortem shadow.
It was a wonderful feeling to break through the proselytizing. When I was a Christian, I felt cheated out of the chance to mourn by the focus on God's justice, love and his will. I had to quickly "be ok with it" and move right on to sharing the gospel. But I wasn't ok with either of my parent's death. I wasn't ok at all. I wanted to cry, I wanted to remember! I wanted to be human and think about who each person was and build a dam of memories against the onslaught of time. I had lost something along with others that were close to them. I wanted time to weep before it became an advertisement.
None of these preachers are hustlers or bad people. Each had a profound influence on me as a person. But funerals should not be about telling a person they will end up like the deceased and they need to deal with that... just my opinion, of course!
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