A network of empathy

"I'm glad you wrote that editorial. That was a bold move."


I was heading out of church and across the parking lot when two older church members stopped me.


The second person nodded, "that mayor, I can't believe what she did, she's probably a gay too. They all are"


It was the event that had rocked the evangelical bubble on the North Shore. The Mayor of Salem had chosen not to let Gordon College renew a lease they had with the Old Salem Town Hall. The reason was because their school bylaws violated new city protection for LGBTQ employees and visitors. They were a conservative Christian college and had stringent rules about same sex relationships and premarital sex. They were renting space in the Old Salem Town Hall to do a historical play regarding the Witch Trials.


I had written the editorial to counter equating a biblical view on homosexuality as "hate speech." I argued that taking one group out of the situation would not bring diversity of opinion and dialogue.


But to these older people, it made me an advocate against the "gay agenda."


I was met at work the next day by a friend who had a gay son. She had a patient demeanor and more empathy than I could ever imagine. But her eyes showed that she was hurt by what I said. She had read my post about the situation on Facebook and my editorial. And she wanted to tell me how important her son was to her, and how he struggled for years accepting who he was. He went through depression and then counseling and then fully accepted who he was.


Suddenly, I saw the face of a mother and the face of her son that would be effected by the colleges bylaws. I realized how brave it actually was for a gay person to come out in the face of ignorant people like myself who would just dismiss their whole journey as "sinful."


And it broke my heart because there was no other coworker I respected more.


My opinion didn't change overnight. But within a year I had left the church and was taking classes for my Bachelor's degree and chose a class on Human Sexuality. It completely opened my world to what it meant to grow up and discover attraction and the beauty of our sexual selves.


And the harm of conversion therapy. Which I could agree with because this was a lot like "church" therapy for topics like masturbation, pornography and many other "taboo" subjects. Discipline, confession, accountability and repeat.


I wrote a letter to my friend because I felt so bad about my previous post and editorial and asked her forgiveness. I shared with her a powerpoint that I had done on advocating for LGBTQ teens and preventing suicide. Then wrote another editorial talking about how brave this actually was for the Mayor to do with the amount of ignorant people (like myself) who just didn't get it.


A few months after the editorial I decided to volunteer for "Freedom for All Massachusetts." This was an organization that was advocating for Transgender rights. The Massachusetts legislature passed a bill protecting people from discrimination based on gender identity (the same way it protected you from discrimination based on age, sex, religion etc.) My old church and other churches got enough signatures to put this to a ballot question for voters in 2018. Voting "yes" on question 3 would keep the protection in place. A "no" vote would strip that protection.


It was a no-brainer for me now in my understanding of gender and civil rights. This was all about a person's right to exist in public. If this was repealed, it would be a travesty for human rights. So I volunteered to canvass. I met some of the most amazing human beings I've ever met in this campaign and empathy was the key word. We went door to door canvassing and the person a partnered with used him/his/their pronouns and I was able to ask every question that I ever had and he asked me all about my journey.


But also I was surprised to see various religious advocates from different groups. We were literally meeting for the event at a church the day before Easter Sunday.


Two months later I went to my first Pride Day in Boston wearing my Pride Sox hat and a Yes on Three shirt. I cannot put into words how amazing that day felt. Empathy, care and celebration of being human.
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Starting this blog and dialoguing with Christians and Atheists/Agnostics has brought me to realize how diverse each individual is in their thinking. There's no way to generalize what a Christian believes despite the church they belong to and their creed. Yes, there are plenty of literal/inerrant interpretation Christians. But there are literally people who believe everything between fundamentalism and progressivism.


I talk about the evangelical church because that's what I know. Its important to expose homophobia and hate, but its also important to affirm empathy and understanding.


Enter in Franklin Graham and his call for Peter Buttigieg to "repent."


This is the time for progressive Christians, agnostics, atheists and everyone in between to call out this rhetoric! To fight for individual rights against dogma and to join together to advocate for equality and protection under the law.


Its possible to come a long way on this topic. I know because I did and that doesn't make me a hero. It makes me someone that should have known better to start.


But getting out of ignorance isn't about religion. Religion varies. Its about human connection and empathy.