In the mind of many evangelical Christians, a chasm of unknown separates the church from the rest of the world. The doors of the church signify a haven and a space where Christ can be praised without ridicule. Praises, prayers and fellowship, without the judging looks from non-believers... Yes, everyone that is not a born-again Christian is in that category.
The name of the great hall in my church is a valid representation of what that church meant: a sanctuary. A place where God's word can be read and no one can silence it. From this mindset, the prayers are lifted up for the sanctuary to spread to other places where Christ should be praised. Schools and workplaces, courthouses and public spaces. Without hatred for the word of God, without mocking for the laws of the almighty.
Dark and light.
Blessed and cursed.
Eyes open and eyes shut.
Alive and dead.
All those are the most common ways Christians portray themselves versus the world. A domain controlled by the Prince of lies, so hostile to God because of their love of sin and vice. And ready to call out like sirens for weak minded Christians, to fill them up with lies, godlessness and addiction.
The world taints, spoils, soils, infects and will spread from person to person without the full armor of God on!
This is the mindset that so many people have about their Christian identity. A world hostile to God for selfish reasons. And as they go out into the world and interact, it is always with a "holier than thou" attitude because they truly believe that the world is in chaos without their leading. So brainwashed that they cannot imagine a world with a natural order and relative morality. Without the bible... what do you have!
The delusions goes deeper than even that. The us versus them takes on a mythical historical view with God's elect holy men founding this nation on the bedrock of the bible. That is why the constitution is seen as holy and untouchable. That's why they cling to guns and bible. Although that same constitution failed to see the evil of slavery, it is perfectly founded on the ten commandments...
A clouded history appears of the United States as some sort of holy experiment. And make no mistake, God's blessing is on the United States and will only be taken away if the wickedness of people continues. What is the wickedness that God sees and is so infuriated by? Abortion... and abortion alone. He will not bless this nation (as he has) with the stench of abortion in his nostrils. He will not tolerate his holy constitution being trampled on.
In the minds of so many Christians, the word of God is intertwined with the constitution and you cannot attack one without attacking the other. And it has been the sacred duty of the church in this country to uphold both. Lest god take his protection away... Lest he smite the land as he did in the Old Testament. And do remember, Jesus is coming back so very soon... and will punish those who did not stand for him.
I am writing this so you understand the bubble. So you understand when you see the term evangelical, fundamentalist, "quiverful," etc. you will realize that this is not simply about going to a church once a week and singing songs... It is about power and a "return" to some sort of imagined past position of power in this country. I say return because the fundamentalist position was never the seat of government and it certainly was the not the position of the founders, many of whom were deists only.
The entire future of humanity depends on the world finding Christ and adhering the laws to his statutes as "written" in the English King James Bible. The future of this country will only find blessing with the removal of all laws that inhibit the sanctuary of the church from spreading into every facet of life. Whether sinners like it or not, they will hear the Word of God, see the ten commandments and allow Christian doctrine to become law in this land.
What if they resist? Then they are persecuting us.
Yes! persecuting the peaceful people of God with Satanic hate and vitriol. Spreading hate speech against love and silencing those who are simply sharing God's gentle message of apocalyptic love and sweet voice of a hell-bound eternity.
"They tried to shame me into accepting their same sex marriage!
They tried to force contraception on me!
They put a song on the radio that said a questionable word and I'll never be the same!"
Because their book sees the world in a dualist battle, everything is a battle! Guns, sex, music, marriage, abortion... it is all a battleground A fight until the world looks like the safe haven inside the sanctuary. The persecution that they claim is any little thing that makes them uncomfortable and makes them feel like they are not inside the four walls of the church. Because that's how it should be!
That is exactly why Christians do not see their push for religiously minded laws as persecuting regular people. Mandating from the bible should be the status quo in their eyes. It makes them comfortable in this chaotic world and gives them peace so it must be right! It must be good for all! And if you disagree? That is the definition of persecution. Not allowing Christians to be comfortable, safe or validated in their bigotry and ignorance.
The world is black and white. The laws are simple and old as time. And if they are natural to you, no wonder! You are a lost sinner, in need of God's grace! Come to Christ, so that you can feel persecuted for everything you don't agree with. So you can huddle, fear the world, hate anyone different and pray for the world's end.
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Thursday, May 16, 2019
The buzzword of Abortion
For the evangelical Christian, history has a different meaning.
It stretches back to the Old Testament where it claims that God blesses Israel or curses Israel based on the obedience of it's people.
It does not match with what we know about history. We know Israel was a small area whose monotheism was born out of prior polytheism. Because of the real major geopolitical players in the area (Egypt, Babylon) it was tossed around over time because it was simply smaller and less important.
It is a false story... that is perpetuated in the minds of Americans in particular.
God's blessing.
The same is said of the Roman Empire. Evangelical Christians have the perfect answer to why this grand Empire fell. And it certainly isn't that Christianity itself weakened the state. It has to do with the Empire becoming decadent and God punished them because of same sex attraction...
"The seesaw of blessing" is always used (after the fact) to explain away complicated events. God turns his back on a Nation and they fall. They obey him and they are boosted up.
Christians are great propagandists. And it follows from a belief (in America) that somehow we are some sort of holy experiment.
Nothing could be further from the truth. That's not how history works. It does not fit together on that seesaw.
I sat in the pew every "Sanctity of Human-life" Sunday with others listening to the declarations of how God was taking away his blessing from the United States. Abortion had angered God so much that he would break up this nation... it was the greatest evil in the history of our nation.
Wait... abortion is not new. Abortion is an old practice.
The historian in me was enraged. Had God taken his blessing away when Native tribes were decimated by disease and swindled out of land? How about when their innocent members were sold into Slavery in the Caribbean after King Philip's War?
From the earliest colonies, African labor built this nation. The horrors of the middle passage, the brutality of the business and the way every person profited from it. Investors, insurance, bankers, anyone who drank rum or wore cotton... all provided by the blood and sweat of slaves. Whipped in the hot sun, raped and torn away from family members. And God stood with an approving smirk?
The oppression of women over centuries in America. Withholding property rights, allowing brutality because it happened in marriage. No say, no equality. For centuries. And God did not "take his glory away."
The fear of every African-American, although freed from slavery on paper, still subservient and now a part of a tightly controlled Jim Crow south. Can you hear Billie Holiday's cry:
"Southern trees bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees."
My church had no celebration for the end of slavery, or celebrating what pastors and their congregations accomplished in the civil rights era. They never openly decried racism. They never mentioned lynching.
Or the fact that in all these Supreme Court cases and decisions, the evangelical church had written amicus briefs on the side of the White Supremacists and the status quo.
But abortion.
That is the buzzword that keeps things moving. It signifies the sign in society that the church is losing control.
It is all about control. Can you hear it? Mike Pence speaking at Liberty University, talking about being "ridiculed" for their faith. Perhaps for their stand on abortion. their stand on different subjects that put them in conflict.
Does he feel how hard it is to be LGBTQA+ in communities that are predominantly evangelical Christians?
Does he know how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship and find out you are pregnant? Or to be taken advantage of by someone in your life? And carry that baby to term?
Does he know what its like to truly feel different? Real discrimination and ridicule because of the color of his skin or gender?
Abortion is all about controlling that most intimate part of each person. It declares a worldview is present and protection must be given at the expense of everything else because? His God knows better. And he'll punish this nation.
No, that's a rouse. Its a red herring. It is the definition of bullshit.
God is losing. God is fading from the mythologized history of our founding and the lies we have heard of our standards.
More than even that. For the first time, the church is seen in context. Exposed. As what they are.
Psychologically damaging. Morally repugnant. Socially harmful. Invading on every privacy and desperate to grasp at some control. And they are grasping for the uterus. Grabbing at it as a last ditch effort of misinformation. Hoping that they can keep in politics, keep relevant and remain current in a world that has passed them by.
Throwing out lies and fear tactics that I once to feared. Now I stare at them in the face. And cry "bullshit."
It stretches back to the Old Testament where it claims that God blesses Israel or curses Israel based on the obedience of it's people.
It does not match with what we know about history. We know Israel was a small area whose monotheism was born out of prior polytheism. Because of the real major geopolitical players in the area (Egypt, Babylon) it was tossed around over time because it was simply smaller and less important.
It is a false story... that is perpetuated in the minds of Americans in particular.
God's blessing.
The same is said of the Roman Empire. Evangelical Christians have the perfect answer to why this grand Empire fell. And it certainly isn't that Christianity itself weakened the state. It has to do with the Empire becoming decadent and God punished them because of same sex attraction...
"The seesaw of blessing" is always used (after the fact) to explain away complicated events. God turns his back on a Nation and they fall. They obey him and they are boosted up.
Christians are great propagandists. And it follows from a belief (in America) that somehow we are some sort of holy experiment.
Nothing could be further from the truth. That's not how history works. It does not fit together on that seesaw.
I sat in the pew every "Sanctity of Human-life" Sunday with others listening to the declarations of how God was taking away his blessing from the United States. Abortion had angered God so much that he would break up this nation... it was the greatest evil in the history of our nation.
Wait... abortion is not new. Abortion is an old practice.
The historian in me was enraged. Had God taken his blessing away when Native tribes were decimated by disease and swindled out of land? How about when their innocent members were sold into Slavery in the Caribbean after King Philip's War?
From the earliest colonies, African labor built this nation. The horrors of the middle passage, the brutality of the business and the way every person profited from it. Investors, insurance, bankers, anyone who drank rum or wore cotton... all provided by the blood and sweat of slaves. Whipped in the hot sun, raped and torn away from family members. And God stood with an approving smirk?
The oppression of women over centuries in America. Withholding property rights, allowing brutality because it happened in marriage. No say, no equality. For centuries. And God did not "take his glory away."
The fear of every African-American, although freed from slavery on paper, still subservient and now a part of a tightly controlled Jim Crow south. Can you hear Billie Holiday's cry:
"Southern trees bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees."
My church had no celebration for the end of slavery, or celebrating what pastors and their congregations accomplished in the civil rights era. They never openly decried racism. They never mentioned lynching.
Or the fact that in all these Supreme Court cases and decisions, the evangelical church had written amicus briefs on the side of the White Supremacists and the status quo.
But abortion.
That is the buzzword that keeps things moving. It signifies the sign in society that the church is losing control.
It is all about control. Can you hear it? Mike Pence speaking at Liberty University, talking about being "ridiculed" for their faith. Perhaps for their stand on abortion. their stand on different subjects that put them in conflict.
Does he feel how hard it is to be LGBTQA+ in communities that are predominantly evangelical Christians?
Does he know how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship and find out you are pregnant? Or to be taken advantage of by someone in your life? And carry that baby to term?
Does he know what its like to truly feel different? Real discrimination and ridicule because of the color of his skin or gender?
Abortion is all about controlling that most intimate part of each person. It declares a worldview is present and protection must be given at the expense of everything else because? His God knows better. And he'll punish this nation.
No, that's a rouse. Its a red herring. It is the definition of bullshit.
God is losing. God is fading from the mythologized history of our founding and the lies we have heard of our standards.
More than even that. For the first time, the church is seen in context. Exposed. As what they are.
Psychologically damaging. Morally repugnant. Socially harmful. Invading on every privacy and desperate to grasp at some control. And they are grasping for the uterus. Grabbing at it as a last ditch effort of misinformation. Hoping that they can keep in politics, keep relevant and remain current in a world that has passed them by.
Throwing out lies and fear tactics that I once to feared. Now I stare at them in the face. And cry "bullshit."
Monday, May 13, 2019
The exvangelical on Tinder
My nervous fingers got into a steady rhythm of swiping right or left. It was exciting!
A world of opportunity, experiences at my fingertips. No more of the culture-imposed restraint. It was a world without rules! Isn't that what I wanted? No guilt with sex, no self-loathing with who I'm attracted to? No shame in finding what is exciting?
I had grown up in the evangelical church and had one (1) girlfriend starting when I was 19. Five years later we married and I entered marriage as a virgin, believing everything that the purity culture declared is true.
- Sex is only safe in the marriage context
- Sexual thoughts outside of marriage are sin
- Marriage is for procreation, it follows a creation mandate from Genesis
- Marriage is a union like Christ and the Church
Many former evangelicals know the pain these statutes bring. After leaving the church I felt ready to experience that freedom and feel what it is like!
The problem is, despite being free from restrictions, I was also away from any structure with nothing to replace it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
My first relationship after my marriage would last 2 years. I was so excited that someone found me attractive and at first, validated my story and made a commitment to me without religion attached to it. I felt good about myself and finally able to shed the feeling of guilt and shame.
However, jumping right into the situation, I did not see her blatant controlling nature or her narcissism. And before I knew it, the newness wore off and I was being physically and mentally abused. Instead of breaking free from the past, I felt the pain of my old self-image problems I had as a teenager. I felt as if I had no identity to fall back on. The Steve from 5 years ago was gone. I felt like I was adrift and couldn't find my base.
I had left the church but had not found my own community or circle of friends that could support me. I did not feel guilt or shame, but I had not fully dealt with the deep issues that surrounded the purpose vacuum.
It took the 2 years to start therapy again and get a restraining order against her. It felt like I was restarting my life for a 2nd time. Everything was simplified and I now had a base to start going forward.
I watched out for red flags like narcissism and temper. I would not let my kids meet the next person for a long time. I would only spend time with someone on my non-parenting time.
But there was still a major problem as I logged in to Tinder and Okcupid. I still had no sense of self and boundaries around dating. In the church, this is not a problem. You start to date and get to know someone until you make a bigger commitment and then move forward. Sex is not the driving force. In the secular world, sex is mixed up in the entire package.
It is so much more complicated than that.
Sex is a big part of the profiles and commitment is not. There are so many things I discovered I knew nothing (zero) about.
- Kinks - I had only heard about this in the context of memes and some erotica. I had no idea what most of them meant. Did I have them? No idea. Is it a deal breaker? No rules for that.
- Friends with benefits - Is this really what I want? Can I even do this? Does it cheapen sex? Does it complicate a friendship? What would that dynamic look like.
- Open relationships - This sounds like a dream for a couple, but wow is it complicated. And I still haven't figured out exactly how that works
- When is it dating? What is it too early to have sex? What is too many sex partners?
- What is the dynamic of a person's sex drive? How do you work that out? Public displays of affections? Sub? Dom? What does that all mean!
I felt so overwhelmed and assumed I would work it out as I went along... And that has been an utter failure.
The results have been - awkward sexual encounters where its just not a match, ostracizing friends because my partner was way too sexual in a group setting, great conversations and then mediocre connection, or alternately great sexual partners who I have no personal connection to...
It is a giant, complicated mess.
In one year on the dating scene, the freedom I thought I would enjoy has scared me. I don't wish for the guilt and shame restrictive church, but how do I find the structure in dating that helps me build a healthy relationship?
No one seems to know, except having well established, hard rules that are self imposed and carefully laid out in dating. This includes what you will do on a first date, what you will not do, declaring what you are looking for in general and guarding everything else closely.
It is a lot like a kid being set loose in a candy store only to chip a tooth, get diabetes and a sugar rush headache... And then act like an asshole and ostracize the people you care about...
The apps are like that candy store. And I'm playing a game I just don't understand!
A world of opportunity, experiences at my fingertips. No more of the culture-imposed restraint. It was a world without rules! Isn't that what I wanted? No guilt with sex, no self-loathing with who I'm attracted to? No shame in finding what is exciting?
I had grown up in the evangelical church and had one (1) girlfriend starting when I was 19. Five years later we married and I entered marriage as a virgin, believing everything that the purity culture declared is true.
- Sex is only safe in the marriage context
- Sexual thoughts outside of marriage are sin
- Marriage is for procreation, it follows a creation mandate from Genesis
- Marriage is a union like Christ and the Church
Many former evangelicals know the pain these statutes bring. After leaving the church I felt ready to experience that freedom and feel what it is like!
The problem is, despite being free from restrictions, I was also away from any structure with nothing to replace it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
My first relationship after my marriage would last 2 years. I was so excited that someone found me attractive and at first, validated my story and made a commitment to me without religion attached to it. I felt good about myself and finally able to shed the feeling of guilt and shame.
However, jumping right into the situation, I did not see her blatant controlling nature or her narcissism. And before I knew it, the newness wore off and I was being physically and mentally abused. Instead of breaking free from the past, I felt the pain of my old self-image problems I had as a teenager. I felt as if I had no identity to fall back on. The Steve from 5 years ago was gone. I felt like I was adrift and couldn't find my base.
I had left the church but had not found my own community or circle of friends that could support me. I did not feel guilt or shame, but I had not fully dealt with the deep issues that surrounded the purpose vacuum.
It took the 2 years to start therapy again and get a restraining order against her. It felt like I was restarting my life for a 2nd time. Everything was simplified and I now had a base to start going forward.
I watched out for red flags like narcissism and temper. I would not let my kids meet the next person for a long time. I would only spend time with someone on my non-parenting time.
But there was still a major problem as I logged in to Tinder and Okcupid. I still had no sense of self and boundaries around dating. In the church, this is not a problem. You start to date and get to know someone until you make a bigger commitment and then move forward. Sex is not the driving force. In the secular world, sex is mixed up in the entire package.
It is so much more complicated than that.
Sex is a big part of the profiles and commitment is not. There are so many things I discovered I knew nothing (zero) about.
- Kinks - I had only heard about this in the context of memes and some erotica. I had no idea what most of them meant. Did I have them? No idea. Is it a deal breaker? No rules for that.
- Friends with benefits - Is this really what I want? Can I even do this? Does it cheapen sex? Does it complicate a friendship? What would that dynamic look like.
- Open relationships - This sounds like a dream for a couple, but wow is it complicated. And I still haven't figured out exactly how that works
- When is it dating? What is it too early to have sex? What is too many sex partners?
- What is the dynamic of a person's sex drive? How do you work that out? Public displays of affections? Sub? Dom? What does that all mean!
I felt so overwhelmed and assumed I would work it out as I went along... And that has been an utter failure.
The results have been - awkward sexual encounters where its just not a match, ostracizing friends because my partner was way too sexual in a group setting, great conversations and then mediocre connection, or alternately great sexual partners who I have no personal connection to...
It is a giant, complicated mess.
In one year on the dating scene, the freedom I thought I would enjoy has scared me. I don't wish for the guilt and shame restrictive church, but how do I find the structure in dating that helps me build a healthy relationship?
No one seems to know, except having well established, hard rules that are self imposed and carefully laid out in dating. This includes what you will do on a first date, what you will not do, declaring what you are looking for in general and guarding everything else closely.
It is a lot like a kid being set loose in a candy store only to chip a tooth, get diabetes and a sugar rush headache... And then act like an asshole and ostracize the people you care about...
The apps are like that candy store. And I'm playing a game I just don't understand!
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Afraid of ourselves
It is a basic truth of fundamental Christianity.
Our minds are cesspits, wretched wastelands that are devoid of any decent thought. Selfish, blind, immoral, corrupt... unable to do anything that pleases God. Like an animal instinct that hates order, despises justice and rejects goodness.
Over and over... In the bible we are "given over" to our carnal desires. Left to our own devices we will do unspeakable things. All war, pain, sadness are evidence of our nature. Anger is murder in principle. Sexual thoughts are rape or sex outside of marriage. The thought is the action. Because if left to our own course, the worst of us would come out.
Disorder... a short sad life... then judgment.
We are the wicked. Unable to do anything right.
And God is everything we are not... Holy, pure, perfect, without blemish.
The darkest avenue a Christian can go down is the wide freeway in his/her mind of sexual sin. There are so many layers to this, it is so hard to unravel. But basically, everything in church and in our world has to be based around keeping our disgusting minds pure.
If the church doesn't do something... if they don't dictate from the pulpit and the youth leaders... People... might... have... sex!!!!
Or worse, people might masturbate or even worse than all of that: watch pornography!!!
If you are/were from a member of a progressive church or have never experienced this, you might be thinking, "But aren't teens and adults going to do that anyways? You can't dictate what people think!"
To which you can hear every priest and pastor say "Hold my Communion wine. We gonna do this."
Despite every different body type, personality, sexual preference or even lack thereof, the church has a cookie cutter answer to the sex problem.
Women: Ok, your job is to look modest, no skin showing, nothing tight, nothing too flashy, nothing too feminine but it better be feminine enough! We don't want you looking like men! Also, feminine but not fashionable. We want 100% mystery on wedding nights! Are there octopus tentacles under there? Shark teeth? Who knows! Also... you have no sexual identity until your husband helps you find it. Got it?
Men: Ok, your job is to look like men... And don't think about sex or porn or think about touching yourself until you are married and then, I promise every night will be a dream! (seriously used to hear married older guys talk about what a "blessed union" they had.)
We hear it all the time in church. Pornography, masturbation ruin marriages. They ruin our relationship with Christ. They make us sin with ourselves, our partners (or future partners.) No one belongs with you in the bedroom! (except your pastor...)
This is all from the same archaic cloth as all the other moral rules that have vague basis in Bronze/iron age morals and puritanical American evangelicalism. On this same cloth are the edicts about dinosaur bones being placed by Satan, evolution being a giant scientific conspiracy and Noah's flood causing all of our rock layers.
We've come too far too go backwards on the issue of sex.
People should have control of their own bodies and how they feel about sex. No one is hurt by masturbation. No one is hurt by you exploring yourself. No one is hurt by you being attracted to other people.
If you aren't in a relationship, no one is effected at all by pornography if that's what you choose. If you are in a relationship, its worth the discussion but most open couples do not see this as infidelity and many watch it together.
Being afraid of our sexual selves is equivalent to all the other ridiculous bullshit like humans with dinosaurs and unicorns missing the ark.
Our sexual desires are the most personal part of us and it takes time and safety to work those things out. How many lives have been ruined by people pounding on this subject in youth group or in the pulpit or by passing along fundamentalist books?
Even worse, it creates an atmosphere that normalizes abuse and rape. Let me explain that. Our natural desires are seen as disgusting sin when outside of the context of marriage. All sins separate us from God and any one sin can send us to hell. So the sin of masturbation is equal to the sin of rape, to the sin of incest to the sin of pederasty. It creates an atmosphere where we feel sick about our desires and instead of working them out, we are afraid of them! Remember, we can't help it! We are disgusting, filthy sinners and without God, we would do every terrible thing under the sun...
And the bottling up of expression and exploration can cause serious harm to who we are as people.
This is a personal post because I think it is so deeply important. The amount of guilt and shame I carried for 20 years because of any sexual desires was immense. I hate myself for lack of control and I hated living a life where I felt so helpless. Already battling depression, I felt awful because I couldn't discipline myself enough to clear my conscience and be a better Christian. When I went to pray, it was there. When I served, it was there. When I went to have sex, the guilt was there too.
Please let me know if this resonates with you.
Our minds are cesspits, wretched wastelands that are devoid of any decent thought. Selfish, blind, immoral, corrupt... unable to do anything that pleases God. Like an animal instinct that hates order, despises justice and rejects goodness.
Over and over... In the bible we are "given over" to our carnal desires. Left to our own devices we will do unspeakable things. All war, pain, sadness are evidence of our nature. Anger is murder in principle. Sexual thoughts are rape or sex outside of marriage. The thought is the action. Because if left to our own course, the worst of us would come out.
Disorder... a short sad life... then judgment.
We are the wicked. Unable to do anything right.
And God is everything we are not... Holy, pure, perfect, without blemish.
The darkest avenue a Christian can go down is the wide freeway in his/her mind of sexual sin. There are so many layers to this, it is so hard to unravel. But basically, everything in church and in our world has to be based around keeping our disgusting minds pure.
If the church doesn't do something... if they don't dictate from the pulpit and the youth leaders... People... might... have... sex!!!!
Or worse, people might masturbate or even worse than all of that: watch pornography!!!
If you are/were from a member of a progressive church or have never experienced this, you might be thinking, "But aren't teens and adults going to do that anyways? You can't dictate what people think!"
To which you can hear every priest and pastor say "Hold my Communion wine. We gonna do this."
Despite every different body type, personality, sexual preference or even lack thereof, the church has a cookie cutter answer to the sex problem.
Women: Ok, your job is to look modest, no skin showing, nothing tight, nothing too flashy, nothing too feminine but it better be feminine enough! We don't want you looking like men! Also, feminine but not fashionable. We want 100% mystery on wedding nights! Are there octopus tentacles under there? Shark teeth? Who knows! Also... you have no sexual identity until your husband helps you find it. Got it?
Men: Ok, your job is to look like men... And don't think about sex or porn or think about touching yourself until you are married and then, I promise every night will be a dream! (seriously used to hear married older guys talk about what a "blessed union" they had.)
We hear it all the time in church. Pornography, masturbation ruin marriages. They ruin our relationship with Christ. They make us sin with ourselves, our partners (or future partners.) No one belongs with you in the bedroom! (except your pastor...)
This is all from the same archaic cloth as all the other moral rules that have vague basis in Bronze/iron age morals and puritanical American evangelicalism. On this same cloth are the edicts about dinosaur bones being placed by Satan, evolution being a giant scientific conspiracy and Noah's flood causing all of our rock layers.
We've come too far too go backwards on the issue of sex.
People should have control of their own bodies and how they feel about sex. No one is hurt by masturbation. No one is hurt by you exploring yourself. No one is hurt by you being attracted to other people.
If you aren't in a relationship, no one is effected at all by pornography if that's what you choose. If you are in a relationship, its worth the discussion but most open couples do not see this as infidelity and many watch it together.
Being afraid of our sexual selves is equivalent to all the other ridiculous bullshit like humans with dinosaurs and unicorns missing the ark.
Our sexual desires are the most personal part of us and it takes time and safety to work those things out. How many lives have been ruined by people pounding on this subject in youth group or in the pulpit or by passing along fundamentalist books?
Even worse, it creates an atmosphere that normalizes abuse and rape. Let me explain that. Our natural desires are seen as disgusting sin when outside of the context of marriage. All sins separate us from God and any one sin can send us to hell. So the sin of masturbation is equal to the sin of rape, to the sin of incest to the sin of pederasty. It creates an atmosphere where we feel sick about our desires and instead of working them out, we are afraid of them! Remember, we can't help it! We are disgusting, filthy sinners and without God, we would do every terrible thing under the sun...
And the bottling up of expression and exploration can cause serious harm to who we are as people.
This is a personal post because I think it is so deeply important. The amount of guilt and shame I carried for 20 years because of any sexual desires was immense. I hate myself for lack of control and I hated living a life where I felt so helpless. Already battling depression, I felt awful because I couldn't discipline myself enough to clear my conscience and be a better Christian. When I went to pray, it was there. When I served, it was there. When I went to have sex, the guilt was there too.
Please let me know if this resonates with you.
Monday, May 6, 2019
10 people you will meet in the Evangelical Church
I want to preface this by saying that caricatures are everywhere. The librarian, the nervous stockbroker, the "mid-life crisis" guy with a comb-over and a Mustang. They are useful in examining our society and making sense out of it.
So, without further delay: Ten People you will Meet in the Evangelical Church
1. Homeschool mom - She has the same style jumper or dress on as her kids. Perhaps even a modest head covering. 4-5 kids are beside her in order from youngest to oldest! She has a giant purse with crayons, snacks and construction paper. She hasn't slept in a week... She's had the same dress for 20 years and hasn't taken the time to dye the greys out of her hair in months.
2. Creepy deacon - this is another person we all know. He quotes Paul as saying "Greet each other with a holy kiss." So... he kisses any woman he wants. Also hugs way too long and tight for comfort. But he's kinda old and gets away with it. He sees young men with girlfriends and says "if I was 40 years younger, you wouldn't stand a chance son."
3. Granola-Crunch - This is an alternative to the Homeschool mom, but this one is drinking out of a glass bottle with a literal bag of granola in her purse. She makes her own household cleaners and her own toothpaste and sadly enough... her own deodorant. Her and her husband will not vaccinate their kids and they also raise their own animals and vegetables for food... If you go over their house there will be a giant garden and don't get too attached to the bunnies... They are dinner.
4. The amen-man - He is definitely the pastor's friend. He is paying close attention to the sermon so he can give that deep bass "amen." Perhaps once in a while he declares, "preach it, friend!"
5. The sports-guy - He's there on sunday... but you know he's watching the clock. Perhaps he used to be a bookie or a high school athlete. He's the captain of the Turkey Day family football day and any picnic pickup basketball contest. Wicked competitive and shames you if you are not athletic. He's kind of a dick...
6. The Old-lady-that-no-one-can-remember-being-young - You started in church 20 years ago? She's still the same age... She harkens back to the days when the pastor (who's been there for 40 years) first arrived... She's just about deaf and blind but has the best ribbon candy and Werther's original. She'll tell you about the "new" addition to the church which was built 60 years ago.
7. The Off Key singer - He or she knows every word to every hymn, but they are completely tone deaf. They are usually the loudest singer and everyone looks at them when you joke "make a joyful noise to the Lord."
8. The showoff singer - She has a wonderful voice, but this is not American Idol. They get the solos every year in choir and take their church singing careers VERY seriously. Sunday is a performance but they sweetly say, "Thank you, but its not me, its the Lord using his vessel." Sometimes she is married to the Off-Key Singer... Which is weird.
9. Hand lifter - they began life in the Pentecostal Church or perhaps even some new age movement in California with crystals and speaking in tongues. I heard before that they were in a commune... They lift their hands, but wait until the perfect moment, when the emotion of the song takes them. Sometimes one hand, sometimes two, always with the emphasis on the beats and eyes closed. Once in a while a bounce in the pew and moving of hips.
10. The Gossip Queen - She is perhaps the pastor's wife or a Deacon's wife or Deaconess. She always has a juicy tidbit to say to her friends. Church is her chance to gather information, watch which couple is holding hands, who didn't take communion, and who has dark circles under their eyes. Did that couple come in separate cars today? She asks a probing question, smiling the whole time.
Those are just 10 of the people you meet in an evangelical church! Any more? Add them in the comments!
So, without further delay: Ten People you will Meet in the Evangelical Church
1. Homeschool mom - She has the same style jumper or dress on as her kids. Perhaps even a modest head covering. 4-5 kids are beside her in order from youngest to oldest! She has a giant purse with crayons, snacks and construction paper. She hasn't slept in a week... She's had the same dress for 20 years and hasn't taken the time to dye the greys out of her hair in months.
2. Creepy deacon - this is another person we all know. He quotes Paul as saying "Greet each other with a holy kiss." So... he kisses any woman he wants. Also hugs way too long and tight for comfort. But he's kinda old and gets away with it. He sees young men with girlfriends and says "if I was 40 years younger, you wouldn't stand a chance son."
3. Granola-Crunch - This is an alternative to the Homeschool mom, but this one is drinking out of a glass bottle with a literal bag of granola in her purse. She makes her own household cleaners and her own toothpaste and sadly enough... her own deodorant. Her and her husband will not vaccinate their kids and they also raise their own animals and vegetables for food... If you go over their house there will be a giant garden and don't get too attached to the bunnies... They are dinner.
4. The amen-man - He is definitely the pastor's friend. He is paying close attention to the sermon so he can give that deep bass "amen." Perhaps once in a while he declares, "preach it, friend!"
5. The sports-guy - He's there on sunday... but you know he's watching the clock. Perhaps he used to be a bookie or a high school athlete. He's the captain of the Turkey Day family football day and any picnic pickup basketball contest. Wicked competitive and shames you if you are not athletic. He's kind of a dick...
6. The Old-lady-that-no-one-can-remember-being-young - You started in church 20 years ago? She's still the same age... She harkens back to the days when the pastor (who's been there for 40 years) first arrived... She's just about deaf and blind but has the best ribbon candy and Werther's original. She'll tell you about the "new" addition to the church which was built 60 years ago.
7. The Off Key singer - He or she knows every word to every hymn, but they are completely tone deaf. They are usually the loudest singer and everyone looks at them when you joke "make a joyful noise to the Lord."
8. The showoff singer - She has a wonderful voice, but this is not American Idol. They get the solos every year in choir and take their church singing careers VERY seriously. Sunday is a performance but they sweetly say, "Thank you, but its not me, its the Lord using his vessel." Sometimes she is married to the Off-Key Singer... Which is weird.
9. Hand lifter - they began life in the Pentecostal Church or perhaps even some new age movement in California with crystals and speaking in tongues. I heard before that they were in a commune... They lift their hands, but wait until the perfect moment, when the emotion of the song takes them. Sometimes one hand, sometimes two, always with the emphasis on the beats and eyes closed. Once in a while a bounce in the pew and moving of hips.
10. The Gossip Queen - She is perhaps the pastor's wife or a Deacon's wife or Deaconess. She always has a juicy tidbit to say to her friends. Church is her chance to gather information, watch which couple is holding hands, who didn't take communion, and who has dark circles under their eyes. Did that couple come in separate cars today? She asks a probing question, smiling the whole time.
Those are just 10 of the people you meet in an evangelical church! Any more? Add them in the comments!
Friday, May 3, 2019
The Insincereity of Christian love
"Thank you so much, I will pay you back when I can!"
"Don't worry about it, it's not me doing it. It's because of Christ. Not me."
"What a generous donation to our mission! Thank you so much."
"Don't thank me, thank God. He is doing it. Not me."
"You saved that elderly man from a car fire! You are a hero!"
"No, I'm no hero. It was only through Christ."
I'll be blunt. the crux of the statements above are: I would have never done it without God coaxing me to do it.
This is why Christians assume atheists are devoid of goodness. Because they think they do good deeds because of Christ. And apparently, ONLY because of Christ. In other words, they would be sitting at home saying "screw you" to humanity and being selfish. That's the impression I get. Eat, drink, for tomorrow we die.
Oh it gets worse. How many missionaries did I meet that had the same story. "I was a corporate banker on Wall Street when I was saved and I turned my life around and served Jesus!" Or, "I was working at a 6-figure job and trying to live the American dream, 3 cars, credit cards, fancy vacations. Then Jesus reached into my life."
In other words, I was a jerk. Now, I'm saved and can finally do good. And they CANNOT imagine someone doing good outside of being a Christian. Because when they were "unsaved" they lived in complete selfishness.
Or at least that's what they are telling you. It's all a mirage. In fact, talking to them, they weren't monsters before or after coming to Christ. The corporate banker had 5 kids who I met, all well adjusted and kind people. He had gotten into an ivy league school on a sports scholarship and worked his ass off balancing everything. And had found a great rhythm in a tiresome corporate job! He had the energy to do anything.
Another example is of a person close to my heart. After nursing school, she spent a year in Appalachia at a clinic serving some of the poorest people in the United States. She was an accomplished musician and pursued a side hobby of aviation. When she started going to church, she gave all her credit to Christ. But I could see her heart and passion was in Kentucky where she had cared for people as a secular nurse.
This is the circular nature of thought that Christians MUST enter to properly claim a close relationship with Christ. All their deeds that show how they naturally show love are attributed to Christ. As if "Christ" has no real value... except a reflection of what people do anyways.
It is a step in the process of denying the basic love and goodness of people and superimposing "God." And its maddening. What value can we place on the entity: God?
Look at some of the most basic hymns and worship songs and you will see "self-abasement." We are wretched, lost, sheep, sinners, broken, hurt, sad, dying, hopeless... And we sing about a God that is infinitely everything we are not... loving, caring, sweet, gentle, moral...
I can't speak for everyone. But this dynamic created a deep self-loathing. I credited Christ with every good deed because I believed myself incapable of doing anything positive. I hate everything that I did outside of Christ and thought it was a waste of time. And that includes: self care. What was the point of focusing on myself at all.
Combined with my clinical depression, the gospel made me sink deeper. Everything felt insincere that I wasn't doing in his "power." I was constantly trying to "stay right with God" because otherwise... I was that same failed, disgusting, sinful creation that I was before Christ's love.
Christ's love... a blanket statement that I accepted and tried to emulate. Despite the fact that this was human love!
We have the ability to Love in ways that this Christian love cannot even fathom! And that starts with the ability to love ourselves!!!!
We have the ability to give ourselves self care, self-realization and boost ourselves up instead of bashing. We have the love inside us that exists because of our giant, amazing socially-wired evolved brains! We have sincere love that transcends every barrier that religion can't even touch.
I can love because I have love inside me. Not an outside benign force that acts.
I can love my family, my kids, my neighbor. I can love the person who asks for money or help. I can give of my time and abilities! I can look at someone who I don't even agree with and love them with a love that Christ would spurn. I don't ask them to "get right with my line of morality." I simply give an expression of love.
Christian love can't transcend the barriers that it puts up. It can't love LGBTQ identifying people because it has rules against that. I can! I can love them and fight for their rights!
Christian love can't love people from religions it deems false. Not fully. There's always the hitch: do it so they see our love and want what we have!
Christian love can't see through the cultural patriarchal barriers it creates! It can't bring full love to half the population it deems as "less than" (women.) It can't preach entrenched inferiority and then try to lift women up.
Christian love can't simply love without hidden motive. The bible doesn't allow that. There's always a push for conversion and obedience. Otherwise... you are doing things in your own power...
Which we are! Which they are, they just don't realize it.
Love like a human today!
"Don't worry about it, it's not me doing it. It's because of Christ. Not me."
"What a generous donation to our mission! Thank you so much."
"Don't thank me, thank God. He is doing it. Not me."
"You saved that elderly man from a car fire! You are a hero!"
"No, I'm no hero. It was only through Christ."
I'll be blunt. the crux of the statements above are: I would have never done it without God coaxing me to do it.
This is why Christians assume atheists are devoid of goodness. Because they think they do good deeds because of Christ. And apparently, ONLY because of Christ. In other words, they would be sitting at home saying "screw you" to humanity and being selfish. That's the impression I get. Eat, drink, for tomorrow we die.
Oh it gets worse. How many missionaries did I meet that had the same story. "I was a corporate banker on Wall Street when I was saved and I turned my life around and served Jesus!" Or, "I was working at a 6-figure job and trying to live the American dream, 3 cars, credit cards, fancy vacations. Then Jesus reached into my life."
In other words, I was a jerk. Now, I'm saved and can finally do good. And they CANNOT imagine someone doing good outside of being a Christian. Because when they were "unsaved" they lived in complete selfishness.
Or at least that's what they are telling you. It's all a mirage. In fact, talking to them, they weren't monsters before or after coming to Christ. The corporate banker had 5 kids who I met, all well adjusted and kind people. He had gotten into an ivy league school on a sports scholarship and worked his ass off balancing everything. And had found a great rhythm in a tiresome corporate job! He had the energy to do anything.
Another example is of a person close to my heart. After nursing school, she spent a year in Appalachia at a clinic serving some of the poorest people in the United States. She was an accomplished musician and pursued a side hobby of aviation. When she started going to church, she gave all her credit to Christ. But I could see her heart and passion was in Kentucky where she had cared for people as a secular nurse.
This is the circular nature of thought that Christians MUST enter to properly claim a close relationship with Christ. All their deeds that show how they naturally show love are attributed to Christ. As if "Christ" has no real value... except a reflection of what people do anyways.
It is a step in the process of denying the basic love and goodness of people and superimposing "God." And its maddening. What value can we place on the entity: God?
Look at some of the most basic hymns and worship songs and you will see "self-abasement." We are wretched, lost, sheep, sinners, broken, hurt, sad, dying, hopeless... And we sing about a God that is infinitely everything we are not... loving, caring, sweet, gentle, moral...
I can't speak for everyone. But this dynamic created a deep self-loathing. I credited Christ with every good deed because I believed myself incapable of doing anything positive. I hate everything that I did outside of Christ and thought it was a waste of time. And that includes: self care. What was the point of focusing on myself at all.
Combined with my clinical depression, the gospel made me sink deeper. Everything felt insincere that I wasn't doing in his "power." I was constantly trying to "stay right with God" because otherwise... I was that same failed, disgusting, sinful creation that I was before Christ's love.
Christ's love... a blanket statement that I accepted and tried to emulate. Despite the fact that this was human love!
We have the ability to Love in ways that this Christian love cannot even fathom! And that starts with the ability to love ourselves!!!!
We have the ability to give ourselves self care, self-realization and boost ourselves up instead of bashing. We have the love inside us that exists because of our giant, amazing socially-wired evolved brains! We have sincere love that transcends every barrier that religion can't even touch.
I can love because I have love inside me. Not an outside benign force that acts.
I can love my family, my kids, my neighbor. I can love the person who asks for money or help. I can give of my time and abilities! I can look at someone who I don't even agree with and love them with a love that Christ would spurn. I don't ask them to "get right with my line of morality." I simply give an expression of love.
Christian love can't transcend the barriers that it puts up. It can't love LGBTQ identifying people because it has rules against that. I can! I can love them and fight for their rights!
Christian love can't love people from religions it deems false. Not fully. There's always the hitch: do it so they see our love and want what we have!
Christian love can't see through the cultural patriarchal barriers it creates! It can't bring full love to half the population it deems as "less than" (women.) It can't preach entrenched inferiority and then try to lift women up.
Christian love can't simply love without hidden motive. The bible doesn't allow that. There's always a push for conversion and obedience. Otherwise... you are doing things in your own power...
Which we are! Which they are, they just don't realize it.
Love like a human today!
Thursday, May 2, 2019
Struggling being "too nice"
The previous two days I wrote about where Atheists and Christians can find some common ground to at least understand each other as people. And I think there is value in that... to a point.
However, I find that it's usually left up to the Atheist to make the concessions.
And that's not fair.
In fact, its time to get to the meat and potatoes of why I am an atheist. And to empower myself to stop being "too nice" and get some things out in the open!
Evangelical Christianity is not a neutral position that atheists should "accept" and respect. I hope I did not give that impression in the previous posts. I want better dialogue with Christians that are willing. But there is a lot to address here! This brand of literal interpretation Christianity has had cataclysmic, hurtful, painful effects on my own life and on the lives of so many people. And that deserves to be called out and bashed in public forums.
The basic premise of the evangelical faith is the complete inability of a person to please God. Oh, he certainly "loves" us, but we are filthy, disgusting and born apart from God. We fearfully baptize babies, pray for them using the words "beautiful" in the same breath as "sinner." Parents dedicate their babies to the Lord to put the focus on indoctrination and early decision for Christ. And as much as we hear Pastors talk about God giving children that die a special type of grace, it doesn't jive with that dedication rhetoric.
That's all very fucked up. It is time we address that. Because there's no way to come half way on indoctrinating children.
The other huge issue with sin is the equally disturbing view that evangelicals have of our final destination after we die (in sin.) Hell. If it is not abuse to talk to a child about burning in a lake of fire and everlasting torment because of rejecting Jesus... I don't know what is. To tell a child that their every thought and decision is a sin that has eternal consequences is the cruelest, most harmful thing I can think of.
And it gets worse! Not only to bring up a child in the church with this "sin sick" conscience, but to cause them to create this diametrically opposed "us vs. them" world in their brains. Saved/non-saved. Heading to heaven/heading to hell. Children of God/Children of the devil. Able to please God/unable to please God at all. A person goes into teenage years with a distinct view that they have to keep separate.
And this brings me to the biggest reason I left the evangelical faith and why I have no problem calling out evangelicals: portraying clinical depression as a result of our sin!
There I was, convinced I was sad all the time because of unconfessed sin, constantly fearing that God heard every thought and knew how weak I was. I was convinced from books and messages that I was a sex addict, a lukewarm Christian, unable to keep my heart on Christ. Why did I think that? Because I was depressed all the time! And that had to be solved via applying the Holy Spirit's revelation to my conscience and constant discipline.
I hated myself. I hated who I was and I felt like God agreed with me. Oh, he loved me, but only because he created me. I could do nothing to please him. I could do nothing worth his love. He loved me because of a loophole. Jesus death and resurrection. Otherwise, I didn't deserve it.
So we have a group of people, walking around with deep conflicted hearts and self hatred, trying not to cling to this world because its destined to burn in unquenchable fire! And we are called to hate everything about the secular world, because everything is tinged in the color of the devil. His shadow is over everything that is outside the church. Music, media, government, on and on...
Punishment is coming. Fire is coming. Judgment is coming. I could feel my arm hairs stand on end as I thought about that moment.
Raised in Christ, sitting before God the father hearing a summary of my pitiful life. My failings, my sin, my inability to shake the sins of my flesh. And after all was laid bare, I would be allowed in, forgiven but... barely. I was lucky to be anywhere near saved.
Then to sit and watch the sword of Christ cut through his enemies... who rejected him... who deserved hell. And all my loved ones, reaching for my hand as they are stirred up in the lake of fire... because I had not done my job.
I should have prayed harder... listened to music less... pleaded with them! explained it again and again. Lived my life in a more perfect manner...
I cried all the time for my non-Christian family... friends... prayed quietly while driving for each person. Cried for Catholics, for Muslims, for anyone that I was told was still outside God's grace... even other denominations that were "liberal" and headed to hell.
Fuck it. I'm done being nice. I laid out my case to cooperate and join together on human rights. But that's not a statement of weakness. That's a statement that says "you better come together on human rights, because if you don't, you are an enemy."
So evangelical Christians, let me lay out my direct statements, minus any fucks given.
1. Don't tell my kids they are going to hell. I will not allow them to hate themselves because of this literal bullshit
2. Don't touch LGBTQ rights or you will lose all your influence (justifiably so)
3. Don't take away a women's right to make their own decisions regarding their body, keep the fuck away from legislation that discusses contraception.
4. Don't tell me I need to support Israel because it fulfills some end-times prophecy so you can get to the rapture quicker
5. Don't tell me we are a Christian nation founded on the bible. You know its not true. You know most founders were deists. You know there's a separation for a reason and you know we are owe most of our modern law code to Great Britain.
6. Don't go into other countries with the guise of giving aid just to force a bible on someone and tell them the good news they are going to hell. I will give my money to NGO's with secular visions.
7. Don't tell me we can't restrict gun ownership because of some "Republican-Jesus-Rambo" bullshit. Let's get laws out there that make sense.
8. Don't tell my kids that one particular Iron/Bronze age origin story belongs in a freaking science class.
9. Don't fight against Climate Change laws because you feel like the world is going to end and this won't be a problem. Fine, drink the Kool-Aid and get out of here so we can change the course of man-made climate change.
10. Don't tell me I have no moral compass when the bible is not a paragon of morality... need I say more?
And finally, don't tell me my depression is because of sin. I'll send you my therapy bills.
However, I find that it's usually left up to the Atheist to make the concessions.
And that's not fair.
In fact, its time to get to the meat and potatoes of why I am an atheist. And to empower myself to stop being "too nice" and get some things out in the open!
Evangelical Christianity is not a neutral position that atheists should "accept" and respect. I hope I did not give that impression in the previous posts. I want better dialogue with Christians that are willing. But there is a lot to address here! This brand of literal interpretation Christianity has had cataclysmic, hurtful, painful effects on my own life and on the lives of so many people. And that deserves to be called out and bashed in public forums.
The basic premise of the evangelical faith is the complete inability of a person to please God. Oh, he certainly "loves" us, but we are filthy, disgusting and born apart from God. We fearfully baptize babies, pray for them using the words "beautiful" in the same breath as "sinner." Parents dedicate their babies to the Lord to put the focus on indoctrination and early decision for Christ. And as much as we hear Pastors talk about God giving children that die a special type of grace, it doesn't jive with that dedication rhetoric.
That's all very fucked up. It is time we address that. Because there's no way to come half way on indoctrinating children.
The other huge issue with sin is the equally disturbing view that evangelicals have of our final destination after we die (in sin.) Hell. If it is not abuse to talk to a child about burning in a lake of fire and everlasting torment because of rejecting Jesus... I don't know what is. To tell a child that their every thought and decision is a sin that has eternal consequences is the cruelest, most harmful thing I can think of.
And it gets worse! Not only to bring up a child in the church with this "sin sick" conscience, but to cause them to create this diametrically opposed "us vs. them" world in their brains. Saved/non-saved. Heading to heaven/heading to hell. Children of God/Children of the devil. Able to please God/unable to please God at all. A person goes into teenage years with a distinct view that they have to keep separate.
And this brings me to the biggest reason I left the evangelical faith and why I have no problem calling out evangelicals: portraying clinical depression as a result of our sin!
There I was, convinced I was sad all the time because of unconfessed sin, constantly fearing that God heard every thought and knew how weak I was. I was convinced from books and messages that I was a sex addict, a lukewarm Christian, unable to keep my heart on Christ. Why did I think that? Because I was depressed all the time! And that had to be solved via applying the Holy Spirit's revelation to my conscience and constant discipline.
I hated myself. I hated who I was and I felt like God agreed with me. Oh, he loved me, but only because he created me. I could do nothing to please him. I could do nothing worth his love. He loved me because of a loophole. Jesus death and resurrection. Otherwise, I didn't deserve it.
So we have a group of people, walking around with deep conflicted hearts and self hatred, trying not to cling to this world because its destined to burn in unquenchable fire! And we are called to hate everything about the secular world, because everything is tinged in the color of the devil. His shadow is over everything that is outside the church. Music, media, government, on and on...
Punishment is coming. Fire is coming. Judgment is coming. I could feel my arm hairs stand on end as I thought about that moment.
Raised in Christ, sitting before God the father hearing a summary of my pitiful life. My failings, my sin, my inability to shake the sins of my flesh. And after all was laid bare, I would be allowed in, forgiven but... barely. I was lucky to be anywhere near saved.
Then to sit and watch the sword of Christ cut through his enemies... who rejected him... who deserved hell. And all my loved ones, reaching for my hand as they are stirred up in the lake of fire... because I had not done my job.
I should have prayed harder... listened to music less... pleaded with them! explained it again and again. Lived my life in a more perfect manner...
I cried all the time for my non-Christian family... friends... prayed quietly while driving for each person. Cried for Catholics, for Muslims, for anyone that I was told was still outside God's grace... even other denominations that were "liberal" and headed to hell.
Fuck it. I'm done being nice. I laid out my case to cooperate and join together on human rights. But that's not a statement of weakness. That's a statement that says "you better come together on human rights, because if you don't, you are an enemy."
So evangelical Christians, let me lay out my direct statements, minus any fucks given.
1. Don't tell my kids they are going to hell. I will not allow them to hate themselves because of this literal bullshit
2. Don't touch LGBTQ rights or you will lose all your influence (justifiably so)
3. Don't take away a women's right to make their own decisions regarding their body, keep the fuck away from legislation that discusses contraception.
4. Don't tell me I need to support Israel because it fulfills some end-times prophecy so you can get to the rapture quicker
5. Don't tell me we are a Christian nation founded on the bible. You know its not true. You know most founders were deists. You know there's a separation for a reason and you know we are owe most of our modern law code to Great Britain.
6. Don't go into other countries with the guise of giving aid just to force a bible on someone and tell them the good news they are going to hell. I will give my money to NGO's with secular visions.
7. Don't tell me we can't restrict gun ownership because of some "Republican-Jesus-Rambo" bullshit. Let's get laws out there that make sense.
8. Don't tell my kids that one particular Iron/Bronze age origin story belongs in a freaking science class.
9. Don't fight against Climate Change laws because you feel like the world is going to end and this won't be a problem. Fine, drink the Kool-Aid and get out of here so we can change the course of man-made climate change.
10. Don't tell me I have no moral compass when the bible is not a paragon of morality... need I say more?
And finally, don't tell me my depression is because of sin. I'll send you my therapy bills.
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Dear Christians - On Atheism
Dear evangelical Christians,
It's only fair that I send you an open letter because I took the time to write to fellow atheists and agnostics about good and bad ways to talk to Christians about their faith. And I think that's a productive conversation!
But I'm sure that you have a lot of misconceptions on your end about atheism. I was in your position. I had no idea what it meant to be an atheist. And I had no idea why they did not have a belief in the God of the bible. I had the same assumptions that you might have. So I want to write this out to you evangelical Christians about dialoguing with Atheists. Should we be scared of them? Do they have a holy text? Are they all the same? Are they trying to take over the world!!!! Will they eat my babies? Do they worship Satan?
1. Atheism is not ONE collective, organized position. It's one position on the claim that a God exists. So its impossible to sum up all atheists or bring them under one umbrella. That does not mean that atheists do not believe in anything. Its just an answer to the God claim. I'll use the general term Atheist, but not everything applies to every atheist. And I hope this is appreciated because I also don't lump every Christian into one group.
2. The basis for a position on the God claim usually comes from simply not being convinced there's enough evidence to have a positive position. For myself, it came from taking a rational, skeptical look at the claims and realized I did not have enough evidence to remain in the church. A lot of atheists use words like evidence, skepticism, rationality, sources etc. In other words, everything that remains when you take away emotional claims/faith.
3. Atheists do not hate God or worship Satan. I can't hate what I don't believe in. I also don't believe in a Satan... so I definitely would not worship Satan. And I don't hate the Bible or Christians or religion. The only thing that I would take a position on is protecting people who's freedoms would be taken away by legislating from the Bible.
4. The majority opinion among scholars is still that there was a historical Jesus. You may have heard most atheists do not believe in any historical figure that could have resembled Jesus of Nazareth. Even amongst Agnostic/atheist scholars, they still find convincing evidence for a historical person. There are a number of influential writers who are trying to build a case to challenge that (Mythicists.) But as of right now, they can't assail the scholarly work done by Historians.
5. Atheists do believe in morality. But it is not a morality found in a set of laws. It is a morality that has developed within social groups for survival and cooperation. This is how morality is explained and how it developed over hundreds of thousands of years even to the point of groups forming laws.
6. Atheists are not atheists just so they can get away with sinning. If a person takes a position that the bible is not the moral authority and that morality has origins in the past, sin is not a "thing." We make decisions in our own understanding of morality as part of a social group based on risk/reward. Yes, this does free the conscience from the biblical idea of 'thought police." There's no doubt about that. but people still have consequences for actions that are illegal in our society.
7. Atheists are not trying to take God out of everything. This is the focus of Christian movies and books. Activist atheists trying to impose a Godless society on the world. My perspective is historical. That's the purpose of my blog. I have no problem saying that Christianity and religion in general are huge parts of our western culture and would be incalculably different without it. Art, music, works of literature and elements of culture that are religious have value. However, my position is that we can't dictate the morality of the bible into someone else's life that does not believe in it. Christians are protected by the church and state division as well as adherents to other religions or no religion.
8. Atheists do not hate creationism. For myself, in historical perspective, the epic narrative of the book of Genesis have value in context. There's no reason why creation epics should not have a place in literature and comparative religion classes. However, they are not scientific explanations that can be taken apart and tested via the scientific method. It does not mean they have no value as literature. But they are not science. Therefore, they should not be put next to methods that are testable and repeatable.
9. Atheists do not have "nothing to live for." This is something I hear all the time. Once I left my faith, I must be miserable and destitute for meaning in my life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love my life. I find meaning in what I do. I enjoy my relationships and being a father. I love art, history, nature and enjoy making the world a better place. I am not sad that I left the church and furthermore, I don't hold any disdain for Christians. My journey is unique, just like each journey in faith or out of faith.
10. Not all atheists are nice. Not all are assholes! They are just people. You wouldn't want an atheist judging all of Christianity based on one jerk. Well, same with atheism. I don't like some of the atheist activists on YouTube and at conferences. That's just natural. It has to do with approach and personality. Unless you want every Christians judged by the Westborough Baptist Church... (which I know you don't) give us some leeway as well.
So let me know what you think! Thanks for your time Christians!
Steve
It's only fair that I send you an open letter because I took the time to write to fellow atheists and agnostics about good and bad ways to talk to Christians about their faith. And I think that's a productive conversation!
But I'm sure that you have a lot of misconceptions on your end about atheism. I was in your position. I had no idea what it meant to be an atheist. And I had no idea why they did not have a belief in the God of the bible. I had the same assumptions that you might have. So I want to write this out to you evangelical Christians about dialoguing with Atheists. Should we be scared of them? Do they have a holy text? Are they all the same? Are they trying to take over the world!!!! Will they eat my babies? Do they worship Satan?
1. Atheism is not ONE collective, organized position. It's one position on the claim that a God exists. So its impossible to sum up all atheists or bring them under one umbrella. That does not mean that atheists do not believe in anything. Its just an answer to the God claim. I'll use the general term Atheist, but not everything applies to every atheist. And I hope this is appreciated because I also don't lump every Christian into one group.
2. The basis for a position on the God claim usually comes from simply not being convinced there's enough evidence to have a positive position. For myself, it came from taking a rational, skeptical look at the claims and realized I did not have enough evidence to remain in the church. A lot of atheists use words like evidence, skepticism, rationality, sources etc. In other words, everything that remains when you take away emotional claims/faith.
3. Atheists do not hate God or worship Satan. I can't hate what I don't believe in. I also don't believe in a Satan... so I definitely would not worship Satan. And I don't hate the Bible or Christians or religion. The only thing that I would take a position on is protecting people who's freedoms would be taken away by legislating from the Bible.
4. The majority opinion among scholars is still that there was a historical Jesus. You may have heard most atheists do not believe in any historical figure that could have resembled Jesus of Nazareth. Even amongst Agnostic/atheist scholars, they still find convincing evidence for a historical person. There are a number of influential writers who are trying to build a case to challenge that (Mythicists.) But as of right now, they can't assail the scholarly work done by Historians.
5. Atheists do believe in morality. But it is not a morality found in a set of laws. It is a morality that has developed within social groups for survival and cooperation. This is how morality is explained and how it developed over hundreds of thousands of years even to the point of groups forming laws.
6. Atheists are not atheists just so they can get away with sinning. If a person takes a position that the bible is not the moral authority and that morality has origins in the past, sin is not a "thing." We make decisions in our own understanding of morality as part of a social group based on risk/reward. Yes, this does free the conscience from the biblical idea of 'thought police." There's no doubt about that. but people still have consequences for actions that are illegal in our society.
7. Atheists are not trying to take God out of everything. This is the focus of Christian movies and books. Activist atheists trying to impose a Godless society on the world. My perspective is historical. That's the purpose of my blog. I have no problem saying that Christianity and religion in general are huge parts of our western culture and would be incalculably different without it. Art, music, works of literature and elements of culture that are religious have value. However, my position is that we can't dictate the morality of the bible into someone else's life that does not believe in it. Christians are protected by the church and state division as well as adherents to other religions or no religion.
8. Atheists do not hate creationism. For myself, in historical perspective, the epic narrative of the book of Genesis have value in context. There's no reason why creation epics should not have a place in literature and comparative religion classes. However, they are not scientific explanations that can be taken apart and tested via the scientific method. It does not mean they have no value as literature. But they are not science. Therefore, they should not be put next to methods that are testable and repeatable.
9. Atheists do not have "nothing to live for." This is something I hear all the time. Once I left my faith, I must be miserable and destitute for meaning in my life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love my life. I find meaning in what I do. I enjoy my relationships and being a father. I love art, history, nature and enjoy making the world a better place. I am not sad that I left the church and furthermore, I don't hold any disdain for Christians. My journey is unique, just like each journey in faith or out of faith.
10. Not all atheists are nice. Not all are assholes! They are just people. You wouldn't want an atheist judging all of Christianity based on one jerk. Well, same with atheism. I don't like some of the atheist activists on YouTube and at conferences. That's just natural. It has to do with approach and personality. Unless you want every Christians judged by the Westborough Baptist Church... (which I know you don't) give us some leeway as well.
So let me know what you think! Thanks for your time Christians!
Steve
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