Dear Friends,
I bet you're wondering why I'm writing this afternoon. I wanted to talk to you about your approach and its impact of influencing Christians. Whether on Twitter or Facebook or out in the community, you are going to come across some Christians. It is just inevitable.
I'm mainly writing to you who were never in the church. Yes, that does mean you have a lot less guilt-sorting and drama, but it also means you might be at a disadvantage when talking to Christians. It's hard to understand the other side when you've been (thankfully) on the side of rhetoric, skepticism and common sense.
I wish I had learned about Darwin from a teacher and been like "yeah, that sounds about right." Instead, I learned the name Darwin in the same breath as "Evolutionist truth hating secularists."
And you probably had sex for the first time and were like "that was fun, I enjoyed that, good condom choice." Instead, I was like "I think we need to confess this in church, I hate myself! It felt so good, but I'm so disgusting."
Yeah, I know. Ex-evangelicals are a bit messed up and probably not going to be exactly the same. I know because I am one of them! But it might help me (now) to talk to Christians and see where they are coming from.
So today, my heathen friends, I want to give you a list of Do's and Don'ts. Why? Well, probably because of the propensity for Christians to frame their whole lives around lists of rules and it still feels natural! (should possibly mention that to my therapist.)
Do's and Don'ts of Talking to Christians about their Faith
1. Don't assume that they are ignorant about science because they are believers
I mean, this is completely possible. But I don't think I had a disdain for science or huge ignorance about whether science worked while I was a Christian. And that actually helped me get out of the idea of Creationism pretty quickly! I mean, science is a great subject to bring up and can usually bridge a gap because its testable and verifiable.
2. Do ask questions about science and basic idea of what is testable. Despite a giant Ark Encounter park and fake scientist Ken Ham's notoriety, I don't think most Christians are Young Earth Creationists. For myself, I knew the earth wasn't 6000 years old, I just wasn't sure how it all fit together.
3. Don't attack their well wishes and messages that have nothing to do with religion. This is annoying to me. I'm going through Twitter and all a Christian said was "my thoughts and prayers are with you," or "God Bless" etc. And some Atheist armchair activist will say "I don't believe in God!" or attack the idea of Thoughts and prayers. Usually, this is not an attempt to convert you, its just their second nature and they don't realize they are doing it.
4. Don't assume that every Christian adheres to the same Fundamentalism as the groups that you love to hate. A large amount of Christians are LGBTQ supporters, even if their church is not. In fact, every single Christian in that church probably has a different view on a number of subjects. I went to a church that preached YEC and biblical marriage but I was not the only one that didn't agree with that. I was leaning towards pro-choice but didn't care who married who and thought anyone should be able to believe what they wanted.
5. Do ask them about their faith and get into the reasons they personally believe! Usually, belief in God will be deeply personal and they can share how they came to that decision. (Even if it makes no logical sense to you.) Most adults who grew up in the church are not still forced to be in it (although some are) but most made a decision in adulthood to stay. And it is more complicated than that. Maybe they left their home church and then bounced around etc.
6. Don't assume everyone is in a cult where they sit around and have no fun. I had a blast in High School. We were always going to Six Flags, water parks, bonfires, game nights (mafia etc) summer camp (which was fun) and I enjoyed singing as well as simply being with awesome friends. People are rarely held in a church by a chain. In my experience, it was my whole sense of community. And not everyone is a prude. There's exciting crushes, romance, juicy gossip, divorce, cheating etc.
7. Do ask about what they love about their church and their sense of community. Don't bash the idea of community. Ask about what things they like to do, who's cooking sucks at potlocks, their favorite hymn, favorite secular music, movies. In my experience, Christians have good taste in beers and wine. Those who enjoy studying Greek in their spare time certainly know how to get a Beer aficionados magazine and find a highly rated IPA.
8. Don't simply swear at them. Look everyone, I grew up in a secular household and my dad was the best swearer in the entire world. My swear vocabulary is pretty sound. It would not bother me at all and I'd just match you. But for a lot of Christians, that is when the conversation ends. I see this all the time on Atheist Talk Shows. It is completely unhelpful and cuts off communication. It might be therapeutic for you, but what's the point if it simply stops the dialogue? Just a thought.
9. Don't assume they have no life outside of church. Even if their profile picture is him/her hugging the cross and holding a lamb, that is how they are presenting themselves. Its not necessarily the reality. And once you get to know them better, you find out that's a persona that they use in public.
10. Do discuss how religion has effected you personally. If you have a story about how a Church hurt you, or how an anti-LGBTQ Christian made you upset, or how a chauvinistic Christian bothered you, share that with them! Perhaps they can't see what certain rhetoric is doing to the rest of the world because of the Christian bubble! It brings out your humanity as well as their own. And that's important.
Churches look like bunches of identical, cookie cutter Christians. I assure you they aren't. They are communities of people from various cross-sections of every group. Sometimes they look alike culturally, but each is an individual worth talking to!
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Monday, April 29, 2019
Easy Conversion
A 20 Foot Gutter Sundae, with all the toppings! As much as you could eat in one sitting.
That's all it took to entice people to come to the event, no matter where it was. And this particular event was called a Jalopy raid. We had a list of unsaved friends that we gave our Youth Group Leader and then call them up and see if the Sundae would inspire them enough to come out! This is how every event at Youth Group went. Bring friends out for food and games and then a quick message from the pastor.
A strange mix of teenage hormones, sweat and religion. Once we had eaten our fill of the ice cream and settled down from Capture the Flag or Mafia, we would sit and listen to the Pastor give us a message.
It usually went a few different ways:
"If you went out that door tonight and were hit by a car and were at the gates of heaven, what would you say to God? Why should he let you into his heaven?"
"The bible says that Adam and Eve sinned against God and were separated from Him. That's what Hell is, friend, eternal separation from his presence."
"Think of all the things people do to get to God. Good works, charity, follow the ten commandments, try to love each other, study the bible... It won't be enough in the end."
The entire summation of the bible and God's plan for salvation, dumbed down to simple steps. Anyone could make a split decision to go to heaven! And we could settle that tonight!
"It's as simple as ABC friend.
A: admit that you're a sinner in need of God's forgiveness. Romans 3:23 says For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
B: Believe in what Jesus did on the cross. That he lived a perfect life, was persecuted and crucified for our sin and paid the penalty that should have been ours!
C: Confess with your mouth and ask Christ into your hearts!"
There are 66 books in the Protestant Bible, 27 books of the New Testament. There is some 1000 years of histories, poetry, prophecy, law, genealogy and stories. Commentary books on the shortest books of the bible run multi-volume. It encompasses an ancient time frame that had different thoughts on morals, government, family relationships and nearly everything else.
But I'm going to present it to you as a A-Z books with one message and one goal and pretend that its settled and there's a quick answer to get out of this book.
Easy Conversion.
What does easy conversion look like when its played out? Well, I think we can see it in America today:
- strange attempts to apply ancient texts to different world. There's nothing in the bible about a thousand different modern topics and Iron/Bronze Age morals are impossible to apply in many cases
- An entire group of people that believe in a book they have only read in portions.
- A populace that denies basic science because nothing can challenge the belief they wrote on that decision card in the back of "Four Spiritual Laws."
- A culture that divides every human being to "saved" or "unsaved." And can't understand why people don't convert because, after all, it is so easy.
Easy conversion is supposed to be followed up with discipleship and instruction on how to read the bible. And that's usually about the time you realize that answers are heavily coded and mostly influenced by church rules and vague interpretations. It took only a few months in my church to realize that along with the check off list on the card, we were signing up for a massive amount of things.
- Time to be fitted for a purity ring and time to sign a "True love waits" card. The implications of this are staggering because its all about discipline and thought police. Everything you look at is temptation and its time to train your brain to hate that
- The complete demolishing of all secular music... At some events they even had huge bins to throw your beloved heathen music in. And that also means listening to some pretty mediocre Christian replacements.
- Beware atheist activist teachers! Yes, most Christians find that there is a huge conspiracy amongst the academic world of evil teachers who hate God because of some dark event in their lives. (See: God's not Dead...)
- Seeing everyone as "others." Everyone that is unsaved is incapable of pleasing God and is "of the world." Satan will try to influence you through them so you need to start cutting people out of your life. (or bringing them to church.)
- patriarchal without even knowing it. Indeed, this was something my sister noticed right away when she started going and I was ignorant about it. Submissive women, chest thumping men, modesty and purity. Acting as a "lady." An entire plethora of ancient precepts that they insisted was God's will for women. You already know you won't be preaching or praying or teaching Sunday School above 4th grade.
You are signing up for a complete worldview when you sign that card. And its a world view that immediately sets up inconsistencies and drama that you could never think of.
If you had to think about it, you probably wouldn't do it.
That's why the language is so simple.
ABC... and then right into a world of things you had no idea you signed up for. We need to add more letters.
That's all it took to entice people to come to the event, no matter where it was. And this particular event was called a Jalopy raid. We had a list of unsaved friends that we gave our Youth Group Leader and then call them up and see if the Sundae would inspire them enough to come out! This is how every event at Youth Group went. Bring friends out for food and games and then a quick message from the pastor.
A strange mix of teenage hormones, sweat and religion. Once we had eaten our fill of the ice cream and settled down from Capture the Flag or Mafia, we would sit and listen to the Pastor give us a message.
It usually went a few different ways:
"If you went out that door tonight and were hit by a car and were at the gates of heaven, what would you say to God? Why should he let you into his heaven?"
"The bible says that Adam and Eve sinned against God and were separated from Him. That's what Hell is, friend, eternal separation from his presence."
"Think of all the things people do to get to God. Good works, charity, follow the ten commandments, try to love each other, study the bible... It won't be enough in the end."
The entire summation of the bible and God's plan for salvation, dumbed down to simple steps. Anyone could make a split decision to go to heaven! And we could settle that tonight!
"It's as simple as ABC friend.
A: admit that you're a sinner in need of God's forgiveness. Romans 3:23 says For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
B: Believe in what Jesus did on the cross. That he lived a perfect life, was persecuted and crucified for our sin and paid the penalty that should have been ours!
C: Confess with your mouth and ask Christ into your hearts!"
There are 66 books in the Protestant Bible, 27 books of the New Testament. There is some 1000 years of histories, poetry, prophecy, law, genealogy and stories. Commentary books on the shortest books of the bible run multi-volume. It encompasses an ancient time frame that had different thoughts on morals, government, family relationships and nearly everything else.
But I'm going to present it to you as a A-Z books with one message and one goal and pretend that its settled and there's a quick answer to get out of this book.
Easy Conversion.
What does easy conversion look like when its played out? Well, I think we can see it in America today:
- strange attempts to apply ancient texts to different world. There's nothing in the bible about a thousand different modern topics and Iron/Bronze Age morals are impossible to apply in many cases
- An entire group of people that believe in a book they have only read in portions.
- A populace that denies basic science because nothing can challenge the belief they wrote on that decision card in the back of "Four Spiritual Laws."
- A culture that divides every human being to "saved" or "unsaved." And can't understand why people don't convert because, after all, it is so easy.
Easy conversion is supposed to be followed up with discipleship and instruction on how to read the bible. And that's usually about the time you realize that answers are heavily coded and mostly influenced by church rules and vague interpretations. It took only a few months in my church to realize that along with the check off list on the card, we were signing up for a massive amount of things.
- Time to be fitted for a purity ring and time to sign a "True love waits" card. The implications of this are staggering because its all about discipline and thought police. Everything you look at is temptation and its time to train your brain to hate that
- The complete demolishing of all secular music... At some events they even had huge bins to throw your beloved heathen music in. And that also means listening to some pretty mediocre Christian replacements.
- Beware atheist activist teachers! Yes, most Christians find that there is a huge conspiracy amongst the academic world of evil teachers who hate God because of some dark event in their lives. (See: God's not Dead...)
- Seeing everyone as "others." Everyone that is unsaved is incapable of pleasing God and is "of the world." Satan will try to influence you through them so you need to start cutting people out of your life. (or bringing them to church.)
- patriarchal without even knowing it. Indeed, this was something my sister noticed right away when she started going and I was ignorant about it. Submissive women, chest thumping men, modesty and purity. Acting as a "lady." An entire plethora of ancient precepts that they insisted was God's will for women. You already know you won't be preaching or praying or teaching Sunday School above 4th grade.
You are signing up for a complete worldview when you sign that card. And its a world view that immediately sets up inconsistencies and drama that you could never think of.
If you had to think about it, you probably wouldn't do it.
That's why the language is so simple.
ABC... and then right into a world of things you had no idea you signed up for. We need to add more letters.
Thursday, April 25, 2019
A network of empathy
"I'm glad you wrote that editorial. That was a bold move."
I was heading out of church and across the parking lot when two older church members stopped me.
The second person nodded, "that mayor, I can't believe what she did, she's probably a gay too. They all are"
It was the event that had rocked the evangelical bubble on the North Shore. The Mayor of Salem had chosen not to let Gordon College renew a lease they had with the Old Salem Town Hall. The reason was because their school bylaws violated new city protection for LGBTQ employees and visitors. They were a conservative Christian college and had stringent rules about same sex relationships and premarital sex. They were renting space in the Old Salem Town Hall to do a historical play regarding the Witch Trials.
I had written the editorial to counter equating a biblical view on homosexuality as "hate speech." I argued that taking one group out of the situation would not bring diversity of opinion and dialogue.
But to these older people, it made me an advocate against the "gay agenda."
I was met at work the next day by a friend who had a gay son. She had a patient demeanor and more empathy than I could ever imagine. But her eyes showed that she was hurt by what I said. She had read my post about the situation on Facebook and my editorial. And she wanted to tell me how important her son was to her, and how he struggled for years accepting who he was. He went through depression and then counseling and then fully accepted who he was.
Suddenly, I saw the face of a mother and the face of her son that would be effected by the colleges bylaws. I realized how brave it actually was for a gay person to come out in the face of ignorant people like myself who would just dismiss their whole journey as "sinful."
And it broke my heart because there was no other coworker I respected more.
My opinion didn't change overnight. But within a year I had left the church and was taking classes for my Bachelor's degree and chose a class on Human Sexuality. It completely opened my world to what it meant to grow up and discover attraction and the beauty of our sexual selves.
And the harm of conversion therapy. Which I could agree with because this was a lot like "church" therapy for topics like masturbation, pornography and many other "taboo" subjects. Discipline, confession, accountability and repeat.
I wrote a letter to my friend because I felt so bad about my previous post and editorial and asked her forgiveness. I shared with her a powerpoint that I had done on advocating for LGBTQ teens and preventing suicide. Then wrote another editorial talking about how brave this actually was for the Mayor to do with the amount of ignorant people (like myself) who just didn't get it.
A few months after the editorial I decided to volunteer for "Freedom for All Massachusetts." This was an organization that was advocating for Transgender rights. The Massachusetts legislature passed a bill protecting people from discrimination based on gender identity (the same way it protected you from discrimination based on age, sex, religion etc.) My old church and other churches got enough signatures to put this to a ballot question for voters in 2018. Voting "yes" on question 3 would keep the protection in place. A "no" vote would strip that protection.
It was a no-brainer for me now in my understanding of gender and civil rights. This was all about a person's right to exist in public. If this was repealed, it would be a travesty for human rights. So I volunteered to canvass. I met some of the most amazing human beings I've ever met in this campaign and empathy was the key word. We went door to door canvassing and the person a partnered with used him/his/their pronouns and I was able to ask every question that I ever had and he asked me all about my journey.
But also I was surprised to see various religious advocates from different groups. We were literally meeting for the event at a church the day before Easter Sunday.
Two months later I went to my first Pride Day in Boston wearing my Pride Sox hat and a Yes on Three shirt. I cannot put into words how amazing that day felt. Empathy, care and celebration of being human.
___________________________________________
Starting this blog and dialoguing with Christians and Atheists/Agnostics has brought me to realize how diverse each individual is in their thinking. There's no way to generalize what a Christian believes despite the church they belong to and their creed. Yes, there are plenty of literal/inerrant interpretation Christians. But there are literally people who believe everything between fundamentalism and progressivism.
I talk about the evangelical church because that's what I know. Its important to expose homophobia and hate, but its also important to affirm empathy and understanding.
Enter in Franklin Graham and his call for Peter Buttigieg to "repent."
This is the time for progressive Christians, agnostics, atheists and everyone in between to call out this rhetoric! To fight for individual rights against dogma and to join together to advocate for equality and protection under the law.
Its possible to come a long way on this topic. I know because I did and that doesn't make me a hero. It makes me someone that should have known better to start.
But getting out of ignorance isn't about religion. Religion varies. Its about human connection and empathy.
I was heading out of church and across the parking lot when two older church members stopped me.
The second person nodded, "that mayor, I can't believe what she did, she's probably a gay too. They all are"
It was the event that had rocked the evangelical bubble on the North Shore. The Mayor of Salem had chosen not to let Gordon College renew a lease they had with the Old Salem Town Hall. The reason was because their school bylaws violated new city protection for LGBTQ employees and visitors. They were a conservative Christian college and had stringent rules about same sex relationships and premarital sex. They were renting space in the Old Salem Town Hall to do a historical play regarding the Witch Trials.
I had written the editorial to counter equating a biblical view on homosexuality as "hate speech." I argued that taking one group out of the situation would not bring diversity of opinion and dialogue.
But to these older people, it made me an advocate against the "gay agenda."
I was met at work the next day by a friend who had a gay son. She had a patient demeanor and more empathy than I could ever imagine. But her eyes showed that she was hurt by what I said. She had read my post about the situation on Facebook and my editorial. And she wanted to tell me how important her son was to her, and how he struggled for years accepting who he was. He went through depression and then counseling and then fully accepted who he was.
Suddenly, I saw the face of a mother and the face of her son that would be effected by the colleges bylaws. I realized how brave it actually was for a gay person to come out in the face of ignorant people like myself who would just dismiss their whole journey as "sinful."
And it broke my heart because there was no other coworker I respected more.
My opinion didn't change overnight. But within a year I had left the church and was taking classes for my Bachelor's degree and chose a class on Human Sexuality. It completely opened my world to what it meant to grow up and discover attraction and the beauty of our sexual selves.
And the harm of conversion therapy. Which I could agree with because this was a lot like "church" therapy for topics like masturbation, pornography and many other "taboo" subjects. Discipline, confession, accountability and repeat.
I wrote a letter to my friend because I felt so bad about my previous post and editorial and asked her forgiveness. I shared with her a powerpoint that I had done on advocating for LGBTQ teens and preventing suicide. Then wrote another editorial talking about how brave this actually was for the Mayor to do with the amount of ignorant people (like myself) who just didn't get it.
A few months after the editorial I decided to volunteer for "Freedom for All Massachusetts." This was an organization that was advocating for Transgender rights. The Massachusetts legislature passed a bill protecting people from discrimination based on gender identity (the same way it protected you from discrimination based on age, sex, religion etc.) My old church and other churches got enough signatures to put this to a ballot question for voters in 2018. Voting "yes" on question 3 would keep the protection in place. A "no" vote would strip that protection.
It was a no-brainer for me now in my understanding of gender and civil rights. This was all about a person's right to exist in public. If this was repealed, it would be a travesty for human rights. So I volunteered to canvass. I met some of the most amazing human beings I've ever met in this campaign and empathy was the key word. We went door to door canvassing and the person a partnered with used him/his/their pronouns and I was able to ask every question that I ever had and he asked me all about my journey.
But also I was surprised to see various religious advocates from different groups. We were literally meeting for the event at a church the day before Easter Sunday.
Two months later I went to my first Pride Day in Boston wearing my Pride Sox hat and a Yes on Three shirt. I cannot put into words how amazing that day felt. Empathy, care and celebration of being human.
___________________________________________
Starting this blog and dialoguing with Christians and Atheists/Agnostics has brought me to realize how diverse each individual is in their thinking. There's no way to generalize what a Christian believes despite the church they belong to and their creed. Yes, there are plenty of literal/inerrant interpretation Christians. But there are literally people who believe everything between fundamentalism and progressivism.
I talk about the evangelical church because that's what I know. Its important to expose homophobia and hate, but its also important to affirm empathy and understanding.
Enter in Franklin Graham and his call for Peter Buttigieg to "repent."
This is the time for progressive Christians, agnostics, atheists and everyone in between to call out this rhetoric! To fight for individual rights against dogma and to join together to advocate for equality and protection under the law.
Its possible to come a long way on this topic. I know because I did and that doesn't make me a hero. It makes me someone that should have known better to start.
But getting out of ignorance isn't about religion. Religion varies. Its about human connection and empathy.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
A bigger view of the World
When I was little, I loved to hear about "the olden' days." As if we could generalize the past in one phrase! But it always fascinated me how people lived, what games kids played and what people did to pass the time! As I got older I came to understand each era and take it in context. It all started with that phrase "the olden' days." Learning about the past gave me a warm glow and that grew into my academic pursuits which are ongoing.
When I became a Christian in my teenage years, I heard this same expression used in a different way. The preaching cast an ethereal, magical canopy over the era that encompassed the Jewish scriptures and the New Testament era. There was a glow on these events through the words of the Bible. And taking Genesis as a history book, the past gets foggier and focused on this era as the origin story that explains it all. We can explain away the supernatural because of its literary beauty and convincing building blocks.
In a similar way we can see the origins of the United States as ethereal and otherworldly. People elude to characters from the past in caricature form: heroes, villains. Its a simplified way to understand history. I was on a mission to take away the fog and understand each culture in context. Regarding the United States, it didn't take long into my study to realize the absurdity of deifying or vilifying any founder. It wasn't that simple. Each player had interests and background and trying to generalize gets the historian into more and more issues. Adams was a very different person than Washington, Paine was a different thinker than Jefferson, Hancock had an agenda, so did King George and Lord North. There's so much to unload and sort out.
So we use sources to get past the glow and fog to put the events in context. These were people, they didn't exist in a vacuum. It was complicated. That's history.
But, at the same time as learning this, we come to the claims of the bible as a historical sourcebook. Could I use the same perspective I used to deconstruct other histories? or would this hold up as the one perfect, verifiable origin story? I didn't have a choice because this was the heavy lifting that I had to do to sort out the claim of the divine. Was I correct in assuming these recorded events were historically accurate? Did the validity of the bible rest on these texts being accurate?
For Christian apologists it certainly seemed that they were banking on these texts being accurate. Ken Ham's site is aptly called "Answers in Genesis." This was historic bedrock for a number of claims that were paramount to Christianity including: original sin, curse on the snake, prophecy of the seed, the historic claims of Noah, dispersion of languages, the promise to Abraham to bless all the world through his seed, the system of atonement by substitution and the list goes on and on. Not only that, but the creation account and the early history of humankind and the land claims of Israel. The fact that God spoke to one people group to preserve his word. And doing this, Christians claimed a direct descent from the promises to the Jewish people.
Just writing it out shows some deeply problematic historicity. As we look around the world, we can see religious movements rising out of an older idea of God and creating their own origin story. The issue here is that the origin story of the bible was created in a world that lacked the scientific and historical understanding and went unchallenged in the western world until those genres of study were able to sort things out. Obviously, with a monopoly on the historic view of the world, western cultures hold dearly to this foggy ethereal past. But that's why the sciences and history matter so much and using a multi-discipline approach, we can get a clear view of the past.
Before the fog rolls away, its important to state something. We can vilify this era as fraudulent all we want just like older generations venerated it. Neither is beneficial in a historic context! There is benefit to studying these works and the people of this period. And there's no way to take away the influence that they have had on Western Civilization just because we find that they also have a context. Historians have correctly stated that the world would look vastly different without Judaism or Christianity/Islam.
As the fog rolls away we see the Jewish holy texts in a wider perspective of 2nd millennium BC Canaan and the various polytheistic religions and pastoral cultures. And we see similar origin stories and values. But none of these existed in a vacuum either. Archeologists and Anthropologists are paramount to tracing civilizations back further and further and using that lateral academic approach to understanding the past better. It makes sense that the origin story of Abram starts in Ur of the Chaldeans and we see older civilizations in this area and a context for the religion of the Jewish people! It broadens our horizons and helps us find that common ground.
It also means we need to deal with inerrancy and literalism. Science couldn't be clearer regarding the development of homo sapiens from other cousins in Africa and then spreading out over the world until they were the last of the homo genus. DNA shows this and we can look back at sites all over the world to track development of culture. Evidence of tools, art and an academic approach to dating and bringing this to a consensus.
Art is a powerful tool to looking at the past. I will never forget looking at the various cave paintings that I assumed would be primitive. They were transcendent! Art that would stand the probing eye of modern artists like Picasso who saw the paintings and stated that we have created nothing new! It brought me to the point where I needed to see the world of these hunter gatherers and understand them! Otherwise, my historical curiosity would not be quenched and I'd be restless.
It opened up my eyes to the other element of scholarship: multi-ethnic and international cooperation. And that meant not holding one origin story to be silly or inerrant. But to take each one and find value in sacred works, laws and tales. A respect for the human need to tell stories and sort out the past in order to draw out morals and standards!
When the fog rolled away from the Genesis story, the world burst in a magnificent firework of beauty! The world looked bigger and also smaller because I could see commonality like never before.
When I became a Christian in my teenage years, I heard this same expression used in a different way. The preaching cast an ethereal, magical canopy over the era that encompassed the Jewish scriptures and the New Testament era. There was a glow on these events through the words of the Bible. And taking Genesis as a history book, the past gets foggier and focused on this era as the origin story that explains it all. We can explain away the supernatural because of its literary beauty and convincing building blocks.
In a similar way we can see the origins of the United States as ethereal and otherworldly. People elude to characters from the past in caricature form: heroes, villains. Its a simplified way to understand history. I was on a mission to take away the fog and understand each culture in context. Regarding the United States, it didn't take long into my study to realize the absurdity of deifying or vilifying any founder. It wasn't that simple. Each player had interests and background and trying to generalize gets the historian into more and more issues. Adams was a very different person than Washington, Paine was a different thinker than Jefferson, Hancock had an agenda, so did King George and Lord North. There's so much to unload and sort out.
So we use sources to get past the glow and fog to put the events in context. These were people, they didn't exist in a vacuum. It was complicated. That's history.
But, at the same time as learning this, we come to the claims of the bible as a historical sourcebook. Could I use the same perspective I used to deconstruct other histories? or would this hold up as the one perfect, verifiable origin story? I didn't have a choice because this was the heavy lifting that I had to do to sort out the claim of the divine. Was I correct in assuming these recorded events were historically accurate? Did the validity of the bible rest on these texts being accurate?
For Christian apologists it certainly seemed that they were banking on these texts being accurate. Ken Ham's site is aptly called "Answers in Genesis." This was historic bedrock for a number of claims that were paramount to Christianity including: original sin, curse on the snake, prophecy of the seed, the historic claims of Noah, dispersion of languages, the promise to Abraham to bless all the world through his seed, the system of atonement by substitution and the list goes on and on. Not only that, but the creation account and the early history of humankind and the land claims of Israel. The fact that God spoke to one people group to preserve his word. And doing this, Christians claimed a direct descent from the promises to the Jewish people.
Just writing it out shows some deeply problematic historicity. As we look around the world, we can see religious movements rising out of an older idea of God and creating their own origin story. The issue here is that the origin story of the bible was created in a world that lacked the scientific and historical understanding and went unchallenged in the western world until those genres of study were able to sort things out. Obviously, with a monopoly on the historic view of the world, western cultures hold dearly to this foggy ethereal past. But that's why the sciences and history matter so much and using a multi-discipline approach, we can get a clear view of the past.
Before the fog rolls away, its important to state something. We can vilify this era as fraudulent all we want just like older generations venerated it. Neither is beneficial in a historic context! There is benefit to studying these works and the people of this period. And there's no way to take away the influence that they have had on Western Civilization just because we find that they also have a context. Historians have correctly stated that the world would look vastly different without Judaism or Christianity/Islam.
As the fog rolls away we see the Jewish holy texts in a wider perspective of 2nd millennium BC Canaan and the various polytheistic religions and pastoral cultures. And we see similar origin stories and values. But none of these existed in a vacuum either. Archeologists and Anthropologists are paramount to tracing civilizations back further and further and using that lateral academic approach to understanding the past better. It makes sense that the origin story of Abram starts in Ur of the Chaldeans and we see older civilizations in this area and a context for the religion of the Jewish people! It broadens our horizons and helps us find that common ground.
It also means we need to deal with inerrancy and literalism. Science couldn't be clearer regarding the development of homo sapiens from other cousins in Africa and then spreading out over the world until they were the last of the homo genus. DNA shows this and we can look back at sites all over the world to track development of culture. Evidence of tools, art and an academic approach to dating and bringing this to a consensus.
Art is a powerful tool to looking at the past. I will never forget looking at the various cave paintings that I assumed would be primitive. They were transcendent! Art that would stand the probing eye of modern artists like Picasso who saw the paintings and stated that we have created nothing new! It brought me to the point where I needed to see the world of these hunter gatherers and understand them! Otherwise, my historical curiosity would not be quenched and I'd be restless.
It opened up my eyes to the other element of scholarship: multi-ethnic and international cooperation. And that meant not holding one origin story to be silly or inerrant. But to take each one and find value in sacred works, laws and tales. A respect for the human need to tell stories and sort out the past in order to draw out morals and standards!
When the fog rolled away from the Genesis story, the world burst in a magnificent firework of beauty! The world looked bigger and also smaller because I could see commonality like never before.
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
A historian walks into a church
Theologians are not historians. That's the first thing you learn when you start listening to their arguments. Historians study how a group of people worshipped, but it doesn't make a distinction in the truth claims of each religion. Theologians want it both ways. Not only to look at the bible as sober history, but also infer inerrancy.
It happens subtly. No Christian apologist will start off an attempted conversion from a historical avenue. The process will start with an appeal to emotion tied to personal responsibility to the moral teachings of the bible. If there are some questions about historicity, they are dealt with tactfully without discussing the gaping holes in the record. The goal is to bring the "sinner" to the foot of the cross and make an emotional decision. Everything else will be explained by the "spirit of God."
The "Four Spiritual Laws" does not have an appendix that shows historical footnotes that support the claims. No altar call is preceded by a discussion of the authorship of Mark. The purpose is to commit to the emotional appeal of the faith and get you invested in it! Once you are emotionally invested in the theological end of the arguments, historical inaccuracies are easier to explain away. Then you can appeal to interpretation and discover the myriad of arguments meant to simply fend off "unbelievers."
Pretty soon, you hear yourself saying the same things as other Christians. "You don't want to be believe in Jesus because of your sin, not because of the history around it."
The arguments turn into you having a value of truth in your statements that are backed up by the Spirit of God who has placed these in your heart. All of a sudden, you have an upper hand on these people attempting to throw "secular" arguments (like historicity) at the gospel. It is a short jump to seeing a giant "atheist conspiracy" in the historical arguments and that their lack of a moral center is the deciding factor in not accepting the inerrancy of the bible.
A good apologists will have the Seminary level expertise in dodging the common questions on: genocide, free will, marriage, omniscience and transubstantiation but that dodging is not meant to convince a person of the historicity of the bible. The goal is to dodge the surface level questions in order to get a person to think of the bible as a A-Z book of answers and focus the spotlight on the spiritual condition of the questioner. Staying on the historicity debate will soon show the holes in the work and that's not beneficial to the theologian. The statement is made that the bible is a great history book because its "His-story."
The dabbling into historicity is a tricky scenario for the theologian because then you have to reckon with the thousands of episodes of miracles, zombies, talking animals, 900 year old people, rock giants (nephilim), floating zoos and virgin birth. All of these can be found in works that are contemporary to the bible and that's a problem. There are a number of smokescreens that theologians put up to divert attention away from this. The unique character of Jesus is usually stated to counter any argument. There were a lot of people claiming to be divine in history, but Jesus was what one of my pastors referred to as "the only original in a world of carbon copies."
The problem is, you can't just accept the interesting and edifying teachings of this character, you have to face his claims of divinity. And that is tied to your own personal responsibility as a person before the God that created you... In other words, guilt will bring you to the cross and general statements about "have you broken God's laws?" The "Way of the Master" ministry takes this approach with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort confronting people with the Ten Commandments and getting to the quick fact that we all break "God's law." Its a quick jump to personal responsibility without having to go through the heavy lifting of discussion if this is all true.
The first appeal is made to the element that will do all the heavy lifting for the Christian: feeling.
Feeling will bring you to biblical inerrancy without having to go through the hard questions. You fully accept the inerrancy of this book before even reading it. In fact, so many Christians throw up the defense of inerrancy without having looked at the claims at all. Because the fuzzy warm feeling inside is enough for them, it should be enough for anyone.
Listen to any atheist call-in shows like the "Atheist Experience" and its clear that the arguments every Christian uses show the progression of their conversion. They weren't saved through historical arguments and can't counter the hosts points, but they CAN and WILL make the claim to inerrancy and personal responsibility in a heart beat! How many times has the argument been made "you are rejecting the almighty God because of your hatred and because of sin."
In my life, I had a knowledge about God inside but didn't realize it was made of the same material any other shared idea was made out of: feelings. And its hard to go back to that first moment when I was saved but the basis of that decision was not intellect first, but feeling! I have discussed this before in the blog where I was face to face with this caricature of Jesus and had to make a split second decision because I could walk out of the auditorium and be faced with a Christ-less eternity!
You assume that the factual work has already been done. So you accept whatever is thrown out there until you realize that you joined something without reading the fine print. But by then, you have so much invested in the belief and your eternal destiny, there's no point in going back. That's why Christian apologists create endless wiki pages about young earth creation, biblical history and archeology sites. There is a guise of historicity without the sober examination of this era versus any other era.
That's why history was the sword that cut through my faith. Because I could not understand how archeology showed hundreds of thousands of years of development which countered any 6000 year old earth and historical "orchard thief" event. History cut through the inerrancy of the bible as I found the claims of hundreds of thousands of people in an exodus and conquest of Canaan to be unfounded. The development of the Hebrew God from polytheism and through the influences of other cultures like Persian Zoroastrianism. And then the attempt to smoosh this all together in one book that is supposed to be A-Z. Instead, its a hodge podge of ancient works that fit together as Jewish history and teachings... but that's about it.
History is the knife that cut through the claims of the New Testament and showed 4 anonymous gospels written year after the fact with no direct claim to sources. Also, most of the other books were written by Paul who made the claim he did not receive his message from human sources, but from the glorified Christ in visions/revelations. And that's all we should need to know to see this book for what it is, a compilation of stories around a figure in the 1st century, just like any other.
But, if you come to that conclusion, the appeal is made again to feeling. And fire and brimstone.
It happens subtly. No Christian apologist will start off an attempted conversion from a historical avenue. The process will start with an appeal to emotion tied to personal responsibility to the moral teachings of the bible. If there are some questions about historicity, they are dealt with tactfully without discussing the gaping holes in the record. The goal is to bring the "sinner" to the foot of the cross and make an emotional decision. Everything else will be explained by the "spirit of God."
The "Four Spiritual Laws" does not have an appendix that shows historical footnotes that support the claims. No altar call is preceded by a discussion of the authorship of Mark. The purpose is to commit to the emotional appeal of the faith and get you invested in it! Once you are emotionally invested in the theological end of the arguments, historical inaccuracies are easier to explain away. Then you can appeal to interpretation and discover the myriad of arguments meant to simply fend off "unbelievers."
Pretty soon, you hear yourself saying the same things as other Christians. "You don't want to be believe in Jesus because of your sin, not because of the history around it."
The arguments turn into you having a value of truth in your statements that are backed up by the Spirit of God who has placed these in your heart. All of a sudden, you have an upper hand on these people attempting to throw "secular" arguments (like historicity) at the gospel. It is a short jump to seeing a giant "atheist conspiracy" in the historical arguments and that their lack of a moral center is the deciding factor in not accepting the inerrancy of the bible.
A good apologists will have the Seminary level expertise in dodging the common questions on: genocide, free will, marriage, omniscience and transubstantiation but that dodging is not meant to convince a person of the historicity of the bible. The goal is to dodge the surface level questions in order to get a person to think of the bible as a A-Z book of answers and focus the spotlight on the spiritual condition of the questioner. Staying on the historicity debate will soon show the holes in the work and that's not beneficial to the theologian. The statement is made that the bible is a great history book because its "His-story."
The dabbling into historicity is a tricky scenario for the theologian because then you have to reckon with the thousands of episodes of miracles, zombies, talking animals, 900 year old people, rock giants (nephilim), floating zoos and virgin birth. All of these can be found in works that are contemporary to the bible and that's a problem. There are a number of smokescreens that theologians put up to divert attention away from this. The unique character of Jesus is usually stated to counter any argument. There were a lot of people claiming to be divine in history, but Jesus was what one of my pastors referred to as "the only original in a world of carbon copies."
The problem is, you can't just accept the interesting and edifying teachings of this character, you have to face his claims of divinity. And that is tied to your own personal responsibility as a person before the God that created you... In other words, guilt will bring you to the cross and general statements about "have you broken God's laws?" The "Way of the Master" ministry takes this approach with Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort confronting people with the Ten Commandments and getting to the quick fact that we all break "God's law." Its a quick jump to personal responsibility without having to go through the heavy lifting of discussion if this is all true.
The first appeal is made to the element that will do all the heavy lifting for the Christian: feeling.
Feeling will bring you to biblical inerrancy without having to go through the hard questions. You fully accept the inerrancy of this book before even reading it. In fact, so many Christians throw up the defense of inerrancy without having looked at the claims at all. Because the fuzzy warm feeling inside is enough for them, it should be enough for anyone.
Listen to any atheist call-in shows like the "Atheist Experience" and its clear that the arguments every Christian uses show the progression of their conversion. They weren't saved through historical arguments and can't counter the hosts points, but they CAN and WILL make the claim to inerrancy and personal responsibility in a heart beat! How many times has the argument been made "you are rejecting the almighty God because of your hatred and because of sin."
In my life, I had a knowledge about God inside but didn't realize it was made of the same material any other shared idea was made out of: feelings. And its hard to go back to that first moment when I was saved but the basis of that decision was not intellect first, but feeling! I have discussed this before in the blog where I was face to face with this caricature of Jesus and had to make a split second decision because I could walk out of the auditorium and be faced with a Christ-less eternity!
You assume that the factual work has already been done. So you accept whatever is thrown out there until you realize that you joined something without reading the fine print. But by then, you have so much invested in the belief and your eternal destiny, there's no point in going back. That's why Christian apologists create endless wiki pages about young earth creation, biblical history and archeology sites. There is a guise of historicity without the sober examination of this era versus any other era.
That's why history was the sword that cut through my faith. Because I could not understand how archeology showed hundreds of thousands of years of development which countered any 6000 year old earth and historical "orchard thief" event. History cut through the inerrancy of the bible as I found the claims of hundreds of thousands of people in an exodus and conquest of Canaan to be unfounded. The development of the Hebrew God from polytheism and through the influences of other cultures like Persian Zoroastrianism. And then the attempt to smoosh this all together in one book that is supposed to be A-Z. Instead, its a hodge podge of ancient works that fit together as Jewish history and teachings... but that's about it.
History is the knife that cut through the claims of the New Testament and showed 4 anonymous gospels written year after the fact with no direct claim to sources. Also, most of the other books were written by Paul who made the claim he did not receive his message from human sources, but from the glorified Christ in visions/revelations. And that's all we should need to know to see this book for what it is, a compilation of stories around a figure in the 1st century, just like any other.
But, if you come to that conclusion, the appeal is made again to feeling. And fire and brimstone.
Monday, April 22, 2019
Nothing to die for
We had purpose for our lives.
That's what we were told. In a world of billions of people living for sin and self, we were enlightened. It was like the veil of time was pulled away and the plan of the universe was revealed to us!
We had truth! The truth of the Bible and the plan of God. And we had the cure for a sin-sick world. Jesus Christ! We held the answer to every question and the eternal view of the world on the brink of apocalypse. In fact, I was told by one preacher that the "rapture" was so close, it didn't make sense to buy green bananas anymore. I had a bumper sticker on my car that said "in case of rapture, car will be unoccupied."
And being a Christian teenager in this era? We were the tip of the sword! And I had all the answers! In my book.
I was told again and again that without Christ, we have nothing to live for. We might as well go out, eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we might die. The cares of today are not worthy to compare to the brilliance of eternity that awaits us! If people only knew the truth, they would turn from their ignorance and self reliance and find level ground at the foot of the cross. Join in the chorus of the ages and look forward to eternity!
For a depressed teenager and twenty-something, it was all I had to look forward to.
It was wrong to find satisfaction in the things of this world. So being in a difficult marriage was ok. There was heaven to look forward to. Same with fixing body ailments and self care. None of that mattered! All of that was vanity and selfishness. More of him, less of me. And that was fine! I couldn't stand myself!
Moods went up and down and I attempted to find meaning in the scriptures. And try to make sense of why I was so weak and sad. It was because of: sin...
I had a despondent outlook when anything secular seemed to challenge the word of God. Gay marriage, abortion, Israel etc. It was coming, God's wrath... I wish they would understand.
I really did feel that I had nothing to live for. And everything to die for. In fact, in a secret part of my heart I saw a great deal of bravery in suicide... they were free and in the presence of God! And I was stuck here.
I've written in this blog about the blinders that were on my eyes and the ignorance that I had in my mind. And when I stepped back from the Christian bubble, I finally woke up to the reality of life.
Treating clinical depression and talking to people about it for the first time, I realized how blind I had been to the beauty of the world! Life bursting all around! Human connection! Hope for today, where I was, in the situation I was in! Not more slow death march to a paradise that was becoming ever fuzzier. But amazement in the moment!
It took a long time, but I could look at myself in a mirror. I could smile and feel my humanity and my place amongst others.
I had nothing to die for! I wanted to see my kids grow up and be a dad to them at each stage in their lives. I wanted to experience the world in a million ways and enjoy the company of my fellow humans.
If I could preach and testify now in front of a crowd of fellow sinners I would shout Carpe Diem and seek out their humanity and shared experiences as we all suck the marrow out of life and enjoy each other!
Everything to live for, nothing to die for! My message for the day :)
That's what we were told. In a world of billions of people living for sin and self, we were enlightened. It was like the veil of time was pulled away and the plan of the universe was revealed to us!
We had truth! The truth of the Bible and the plan of God. And we had the cure for a sin-sick world. Jesus Christ! We held the answer to every question and the eternal view of the world on the brink of apocalypse. In fact, I was told by one preacher that the "rapture" was so close, it didn't make sense to buy green bananas anymore. I had a bumper sticker on my car that said "in case of rapture, car will be unoccupied."
And being a Christian teenager in this era? We were the tip of the sword! And I had all the answers! In my book.
I was told again and again that without Christ, we have nothing to live for. We might as well go out, eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we might die. The cares of today are not worthy to compare to the brilliance of eternity that awaits us! If people only knew the truth, they would turn from their ignorance and self reliance and find level ground at the foot of the cross. Join in the chorus of the ages and look forward to eternity!
For a depressed teenager and twenty-something, it was all I had to look forward to.
It was wrong to find satisfaction in the things of this world. So being in a difficult marriage was ok. There was heaven to look forward to. Same with fixing body ailments and self care. None of that mattered! All of that was vanity and selfishness. More of him, less of me. And that was fine! I couldn't stand myself!
Moods went up and down and I attempted to find meaning in the scriptures. And try to make sense of why I was so weak and sad. It was because of: sin...
I had a despondent outlook when anything secular seemed to challenge the word of God. Gay marriage, abortion, Israel etc. It was coming, God's wrath... I wish they would understand.
I really did feel that I had nothing to live for. And everything to die for. In fact, in a secret part of my heart I saw a great deal of bravery in suicide... they were free and in the presence of God! And I was stuck here.
I've written in this blog about the blinders that were on my eyes and the ignorance that I had in my mind. And when I stepped back from the Christian bubble, I finally woke up to the reality of life.
Treating clinical depression and talking to people about it for the first time, I realized how blind I had been to the beauty of the world! Life bursting all around! Human connection! Hope for today, where I was, in the situation I was in! Not more slow death march to a paradise that was becoming ever fuzzier. But amazement in the moment!
It took a long time, but I could look at myself in a mirror. I could smile and feel my humanity and my place amongst others.
I had nothing to die for! I wanted to see my kids grow up and be a dad to them at each stage in their lives. I wanted to experience the world in a million ways and enjoy the company of my fellow humans.
If I could preach and testify now in front of a crowd of fellow sinners I would shout Carpe Diem and seek out their humanity and shared experiences as we all suck the marrow out of life and enjoy each other!
Everything to live for, nothing to die for! My message for the day :)
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Guilt ecstasy
"He did that... For me." That was the purpose of the two-hour long rates R debacle known as "The Passion of the Christ." The entire premise, besides a anti-semitism, was to imagine the pain that Jesus went through. For us.
It's appropriately called "torture porn" because the focus is on the sound and feel of the beating and mocking. Seeing blood and ripped off flesh is purposeful. It should have been me. It should have been you.
Why exactly did we deserve it?
Well, as a historically reasonable, educated adult it's clear that the origins lie in a talking snake in a utopian garden with the first created couple skipping some millions of years of physical and cognitive development. And in this configuration, the all-knowing creator made a tree that would cause all people to spiritually die if they ate it. And when it happened (despite being all knowing) he was taken aback by this and cursed everyone involved.
Thats why child birth hurts, thorns exist and this previously legged-snake now slithers?
Well, at least that's the spin that in a final form some time around Ezra's lifespan and after a differentiated afterlife and a dualist perspective was established from Zoroastrianism! (post-exile)
My eye twitches as I hear theologians attempt to claim that the gospels are independent contemporary accounts that somehow corroborate each other... Despite the fact 2 are mimicking Mark. And one was written 60 years after the events. I can't really decide what burden of proof they have for "historical fact." It's a bit puzzling. I'm debating which movie was more accurate, Passion or Mel Gibson's terrible, irksome movie The Patriot... Sadly it might be the Patriot... At least there's a vague guess that he got something correct.
Oh boy... History. Why do people treat you like this. Truly, there may have been better first hand accounts in Troy! And that movie has some badass sword fighting!
What did history ever do to you, Mel Gibson?
This is why we can't have nice things... Good historically brilliant movies like Master and Commander and Gettysburg. Because they don't have a scene that makes you hate yourself telling a 2nd hand, 2nd or 3rd generation allegorical story. Ironically, we watch deep documentaries and spot-on movies about civil rights, LGBTQ and women's rights and somehow none of that has the effect that this junk shock based movie has on believers!
Watch Rosewood and a documentary about Emmit Till or On the basis of Sex or Philadelphia and see if any of that pricks the conscience like this torture porn CGI caricature.
It should have been me.
He took my place.
Where is that same Guilt and fire for experiences that are historical fact, documented and clear? Why do we feel nothing for those?
Do we see that pain in the eyes of children in Yemen, the faces of refugees at our border begging for asylum? The homeless? The sexual assault victims, orphaned children, etc etc
Instead, we cry because of CGI blood in a story that is probably predominantly allegorical and/or based on a real man, one of dozens of the "messiah" characters of the first century.
Hearing the nails strike the hands, the scream and the "father forgive them."
A proported cover up and epic trial and movement that No one seemed to notice in contemporary writing. No zombies, no earthquake or witnesses to raising the dead or healing the sick...
History is being used as a fool.
Friday, April 19, 2019
Three little pigs and the Garden of Eden
Imagination has always been my retreat. I've had an active imagination from childhood and into adulthood. It is a powerful tool in our development of concepts and ideas. What does bravery look like? Well, we can imagine ourselves in brave acts. What does love look like? We do the same thing. And on to the list are topics from kindness, humor, justice etc. We internalize and imagine what all these things feel like, look like and how they are demonstrated.
This is true for any concept. We are told about nationalism. Well, after a few patriotic movies, songs and speeches we can imagine it! The only tangible place it rests is in our imagination. And I can only think that this is how people groups started to be able to interact peacefully, through shared imaginations. Yuval Noah Harari discussed this in "Sapiens A brief History of Humankind." Shared imaginary myths like nationalism, religion, concepts like human rights or Socialism have no reality outside of shared beliefs. But they are powerful!
For a long time I was under the shared imagination of the concept of "original sin." This was the kingpin in the teachings of Christianity. I internalized the shared story of the Garden of Eden and could give a pretty thorough description of what I imagined. I took some images from books, sermons, movies and came up with what I assumed each person looked like and sounded like. And as I went deeper, it became more real to me! Just like imagining what the last stand at the Alamo felt like or being in the front row at a Beatles concert. Vivid in parts and vague in others.
I could imagine a moment in time where a brunette woman (her breasts would be covered by astronomically long hair) is reaching towards some type of fruit at the insistence of a snake. And then imagine the temptation, grief, hurt, pain and self-loathing that followed that first bite. The shock of a different world opening up with a concept of sin and curse. And in a way, when we all hear the story and internalize it, the entire outlook of the world changes.
It did for me.
All of a sudden, I felt dirty and naked, just like my caricature of trembling Adam and Eve hiding from the presence of God. Whenever I did something that could be "sinful" I felt the collective shame of a thousand imaginations! Also, I went to church where each mind wraps around the entire concept and joins together to make sense and clarify imagination. Retelling of bible stories about sin, a fresh perspective on the garden. Shining a light on a particular sin so that it colors your mind in a different hue. Sharing "struggles" of our ability to control areas and experiencing the guilt.
Then I go back to the day I really started to consider where my concept of sin came from.
What if that had never happened. No actual historical event where a snake talked to a woman in a perfect garden... In fact, it didn't make a lot of sense except as an allegory.
So God made the tree? And the snake? And he knows all things? And he still allowed Satan to be created, rebel, be cast out, sneak into a garden where you put a tree that could be used to disobey you? And then... punish the two most beloved creations made in "our" image?
Sin started to look like a familiar story. A familiar shared concept that enters the imagination and takes root. In a similar fairy tale to the story of ingenuity in the "Three Little Pigs" and determination in "The Little Engine That Could."
It blew my mind when I really considered it might not be true. And then when you realize the hundreds of thousands of years that brought Homo Sapiens to Canaan when this was supposed to have happened, the story has a lot in common with any other collective fable.
Shared imagination can be powerful. This is how we get to civil rights, nationalism, and the idea of freedom itself.
But its time to look at what we internalize and discuss what it's origin story is.
If its a cartoon tree in a caricature forest and that's what makes us hate ourselves for swearing, having sex and enjoying a beer, it might be time to get rid of it.
This is true for any concept. We are told about nationalism. Well, after a few patriotic movies, songs and speeches we can imagine it! The only tangible place it rests is in our imagination. And I can only think that this is how people groups started to be able to interact peacefully, through shared imaginations. Yuval Noah Harari discussed this in "Sapiens A brief History of Humankind." Shared imaginary myths like nationalism, religion, concepts like human rights or Socialism have no reality outside of shared beliefs. But they are powerful!
For a long time I was under the shared imagination of the concept of "original sin." This was the kingpin in the teachings of Christianity. I internalized the shared story of the Garden of Eden and could give a pretty thorough description of what I imagined. I took some images from books, sermons, movies and came up with what I assumed each person looked like and sounded like. And as I went deeper, it became more real to me! Just like imagining what the last stand at the Alamo felt like or being in the front row at a Beatles concert. Vivid in parts and vague in others.
I could imagine a moment in time where a brunette woman (her breasts would be covered by astronomically long hair) is reaching towards some type of fruit at the insistence of a snake. And then imagine the temptation, grief, hurt, pain and self-loathing that followed that first bite. The shock of a different world opening up with a concept of sin and curse. And in a way, when we all hear the story and internalize it, the entire outlook of the world changes.
It did for me.
All of a sudden, I felt dirty and naked, just like my caricature of trembling Adam and Eve hiding from the presence of God. Whenever I did something that could be "sinful" I felt the collective shame of a thousand imaginations! Also, I went to church where each mind wraps around the entire concept and joins together to make sense and clarify imagination. Retelling of bible stories about sin, a fresh perspective on the garden. Shining a light on a particular sin so that it colors your mind in a different hue. Sharing "struggles" of our ability to control areas and experiencing the guilt.
Then I go back to the day I really started to consider where my concept of sin came from.
What if that had never happened. No actual historical event where a snake talked to a woman in a perfect garden... In fact, it didn't make a lot of sense except as an allegory.
So God made the tree? And the snake? And he knows all things? And he still allowed Satan to be created, rebel, be cast out, sneak into a garden where you put a tree that could be used to disobey you? And then... punish the two most beloved creations made in "our" image?
Sin started to look like a familiar story. A familiar shared concept that enters the imagination and takes root. In a similar fairy tale to the story of ingenuity in the "Three Little Pigs" and determination in "The Little Engine That Could."
It blew my mind when I really considered it might not be true. And then when you realize the hundreds of thousands of years that brought Homo Sapiens to Canaan when this was supposed to have happened, the story has a lot in common with any other collective fable.
Shared imagination can be powerful. This is how we get to civil rights, nationalism, and the idea of freedom itself.
But its time to look at what we internalize and discuss what it's origin story is.
If its a cartoon tree in a caricature forest and that's what makes us hate ourselves for swearing, having sex and enjoying a beer, it might be time to get rid of it.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
So what?
So far, my blogs have talked about my journey out of Evangelical Christianity. I will continue to discuss those steps and how I felt along the way. But today, it is time for the "So What?" question. Is this blog just about Christian bashing or the evilness of religion? Absolutely not!
#1 - If I don't stand for religion (and Christianity in general) what do I stand for?
For humanism. For the rights of others as they go through their lives and enjoy the same sunshine as everyone else. My goal is to fight for people who do not have a voice in the world. History is a powerful teacher in this context because we know why today's society looks the way it does and why groups are discriminated against and can't get a fair shake.
That's why women's rights are paramount to my worldview. Changing the norms and shaking the patriarchal tree of today's society. Making people accountable to each other and calling out misogynists and inequality. Included in this is the paramount objective of making sure women have the right to make decisions regarding their body and have the access to healthcare that they need!
The reality of racism and how we got there as well. Challenging the ignorance of the past and the historical facts of invasion, enslavement and degradation of people of color. From Native Americans to Africans brought over in the most despicable "trade" and the billions of $$$ that early Americans profited. Exposing the history of racism and the journey that brought this country to the civil war, reconstruction, the Jim Crow norms and scientific racist theory. And then discussing the biggest example of racist theory on display in Hitler's NAZI party. Those policies opened the mind's of the leaders to the reality of where racism could go. And of course, the civil rights movement that is ongoing today.
LGBTQ rights! The right to make choices as an individual regarding your choice of partner, your gender identity and to not be discriminated against for any of these choices. This is civil rights and activists in this area deserve that label. Not allowing any group, religious or not, to inhibit the rights of others based on their orientation or identity. Fighting for equal rights under the law! And fighting ignorance. Because I was once ignorant about this and I want people to realize the humanity of others.
Environment! My passion to bring science to the forefront of conversation and combat Climate Change. I'm new to this field, but it does not take any deep delving into the subject to see that this is a reality and that there are ways to combat this.
#2 - What is my goal in interacting with religious and non-religious people on twitter and out in the world?
Dialogue! Get people talking and seeing the world through different eyes! Shake the norms of the world and the barriers that keep people from talking. Find a way to challenge hateful expressions of belief (or disbelief) and instead discuss how important humanism is. Period. The common bond of fellow humans that allows us to look in each other's eyes and find something that we share. Call it "cosmic spark" or "soul" or "fellow sojourner" it doesn't matter. Find commonality! Yes, expose ignorance in a kind/frank manner. But get to the point where the discussion turns to ensuring the above mentioned causes find support.
Roger Williams was always my Rhode Island hero (besides Nathaniel Greene) and his writings on conscience were paramount to my journey as a humanist. He was a staunch puritan and yet he was kicked out of Massachusetts Bay Colony. He believed that matters of conscience belonged between God and the individual and that government could not dictate conscience (obviously a modern paraphrase with embellishment, maybe in another blog we'll get to sources.) That's the way I started to see the role of government and the role of humans to other humans.
#3 - What do I have to share and add to the conversation?
No doubt I will share why I left the Evangelical Church but I hope I can add more that "what I'm not." I'm also not a mechanic, nor a painter or a vegetarian. What can I add? My historical knowledge in context so that I can question and bring about discussion about rights and progress. And bring Love into the conversation because I would not be my mother's son without looking empathetically at others. What does each person value: family, their parents, children, friends... And bring the subject of love up to break down the barriers of loving someone based on an ideology. To see each person as a person!
I will continue to kindly call out the beliefs that show ignorance of history and science. Not to shame the person but to realize how those beliefs can inhibit the rights of others. That's my goal and that's where I'm coming from.
#1 - If I don't stand for religion (and Christianity in general) what do I stand for?
For humanism. For the rights of others as they go through their lives and enjoy the same sunshine as everyone else. My goal is to fight for people who do not have a voice in the world. History is a powerful teacher in this context because we know why today's society looks the way it does and why groups are discriminated against and can't get a fair shake.
That's why women's rights are paramount to my worldview. Changing the norms and shaking the patriarchal tree of today's society. Making people accountable to each other and calling out misogynists and inequality. Included in this is the paramount objective of making sure women have the right to make decisions regarding their body and have the access to healthcare that they need!
The reality of racism and how we got there as well. Challenging the ignorance of the past and the historical facts of invasion, enslavement and degradation of people of color. From Native Americans to Africans brought over in the most despicable "trade" and the billions of $$$ that early Americans profited. Exposing the history of racism and the journey that brought this country to the civil war, reconstruction, the Jim Crow norms and scientific racist theory. And then discussing the biggest example of racist theory on display in Hitler's NAZI party. Those policies opened the mind's of the leaders to the reality of where racism could go. And of course, the civil rights movement that is ongoing today.
LGBTQ rights! The right to make choices as an individual regarding your choice of partner, your gender identity and to not be discriminated against for any of these choices. This is civil rights and activists in this area deserve that label. Not allowing any group, religious or not, to inhibit the rights of others based on their orientation or identity. Fighting for equal rights under the law! And fighting ignorance. Because I was once ignorant about this and I want people to realize the humanity of others.
Environment! My passion to bring science to the forefront of conversation and combat Climate Change. I'm new to this field, but it does not take any deep delving into the subject to see that this is a reality and that there are ways to combat this.
#2 - What is my goal in interacting with religious and non-religious people on twitter and out in the world?
Dialogue! Get people talking and seeing the world through different eyes! Shake the norms of the world and the barriers that keep people from talking. Find a way to challenge hateful expressions of belief (or disbelief) and instead discuss how important humanism is. Period. The common bond of fellow humans that allows us to look in each other's eyes and find something that we share. Call it "cosmic spark" or "soul" or "fellow sojourner" it doesn't matter. Find commonality! Yes, expose ignorance in a kind/frank manner. But get to the point where the discussion turns to ensuring the above mentioned causes find support.
Roger Williams was always my Rhode Island hero (besides Nathaniel Greene) and his writings on conscience were paramount to my journey as a humanist. He was a staunch puritan and yet he was kicked out of Massachusetts Bay Colony. He believed that matters of conscience belonged between God and the individual and that government could not dictate conscience (obviously a modern paraphrase with embellishment, maybe in another blog we'll get to sources.) That's the way I started to see the role of government and the role of humans to other humans.
#3 - What do I have to share and add to the conversation?
No doubt I will share why I left the Evangelical Church but I hope I can add more that "what I'm not." I'm also not a mechanic, nor a painter or a vegetarian. What can I add? My historical knowledge in context so that I can question and bring about discussion about rights and progress. And bring Love into the conversation because I would not be my mother's son without looking empathetically at others. What does each person value: family, their parents, children, friends... And bring the subject of love up to break down the barriers of loving someone based on an ideology. To see each person as a person!
I will continue to kindly call out the beliefs that show ignorance of history and science. Not to shame the person but to realize how those beliefs can inhibit the rights of others. That's my goal and that's where I'm coming from.
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Proselytizing at the grave
I have been honored and humbled to give 4 eulogies in my life. First was my mom, who died from Pancreatic cancer when I was 27. Two years later it was my dad. In 2015, I gave a eulogy for my brother in law and recently for my ex-mother-in-law.
As a Christian, I had dual purpose in my eulogy. First to praise God in some way for the life of the person. Secondly to capture who they were to the best of my ability. Funny stories and stories that captured their humanity. Stories to make you laugh and cry, smile and contemplate. But I realized, in all 4 services, the goal was to bring sinners (who would never come into a church) to the grave in order to bring them to repentance.
How do I know? Because they all said that. In each sermon they said exactly that. And the stories that they told about the deceased had precious little to do with the person. But it was building on a thesis in their life of when they realized they needed Christ. And how, if they were alive, they would want you do think about the same thing.
Point in fact: My father was NOT a religious man. When my mom died, he did start going to church and find comfort. But he was a blue-collar, gruff, hilarious guy with a big heart and an accomplished swearing vocabulary. My parents had moved down to North Carolina in 2002 and that's when I was first acquainted with the "church on every corner" culture. Their small town had something like four churches. When he passed away, within two days they had a 2 hour service complete with sets of music and a lengthy sermon. It was cookie cutter and felt like: insert name here. But it wasn't about him. It was about preaching to the choir (literally the whole church seemed to be in the choir...)
I did touch upon his faith in my Eulogy. But I wanted to paint a complete picture of who he was, including the time he made anatomically correct Snow-women on the front lawn...
My Mom's service was similar. She was spiritual, but not religious for most of her life. She was definitely a child of the 60s with interests in natural healing, crystals, Reflexology and I still remember the pungent smell of Kombucha mushroom tea fermenting in the pantry. The sermon was all about her deep faith in the cookie cutter evangelical faith and did not at all reflect her views. Again, my eulogy did focus on her search for faith, but that was a small part. She was empathetic in a way I have never seen. She was sweet and quirky, but had a fierce love for anyone in need. A love that inspired me, although we drove each other absolutely crazy.
But I didn't notice the spin until it came to my ex-mother-in-law and her service. This was my first Eulogy as a humanist. I wrote it out knowing that 95% of the people there would be from the church I used to attend. But I didn't write it for them. I wrote it for my ex-wife and her family including her father who was sitting near me. I wrote it to bring out her humanity and her struggle as part of a collective struggle. To draw on each other and find common bond in our journeys. I tried to make people laugh with my anecdotes and stories and smile to think of her as a person. Not the object of a preacher's altar call.
I knew I did my job when one woman from the church looked me in the eye after (she knew I had left the church) and said "I hope you took what the pastor said to heart. And I hope you repent." I smiled, Yes! I had done my job. I had cut through the false feeling of peace that some people had to make them face the sweet memory of this mother, wife, grandmother, aunt, sister and friend. I had reached her humanity! It was their chance to recruit followers by casting a shadow on the grave. It was my chance to turn to the people there and remind them that a grave is waiting for everyone of every faith. What is important is the memories we made, the people we touched, the connections that we made, not the post-mortem shadow.
It was a wonderful feeling to break through the proselytizing. When I was a Christian, I felt cheated out of the chance to mourn by the focus on God's justice, love and his will. I had to quickly "be ok with it" and move right on to sharing the gospel. But I wasn't ok with either of my parent's death. I wasn't ok at all. I wanted to cry, I wanted to remember! I wanted to be human and think about who each person was and build a dam of memories against the onslaught of time. I had lost something along with others that were close to them. I wanted time to weep before it became an advertisement.
None of these preachers are hustlers or bad people. Each had a profound influence on me as a person. But funerals should not be about telling a person they will end up like the deceased and they need to deal with that... just my opinion, of course!
How do I know? Because they all said that. In each sermon they said exactly that. And the stories that they told about the deceased had precious little to do with the person. But it was building on a thesis in their life of when they realized they needed Christ. And how, if they were alive, they would want you do think about the same thing.
Point in fact: My father was NOT a religious man. When my mom died, he did start going to church and find comfort. But he was a blue-collar, gruff, hilarious guy with a big heart and an accomplished swearing vocabulary. My parents had moved down to North Carolina in 2002 and that's when I was first acquainted with the "church on every corner" culture. Their small town had something like four churches. When he passed away, within two days they had a 2 hour service complete with sets of music and a lengthy sermon. It was cookie cutter and felt like: insert name here. But it wasn't about him. It was about preaching to the choir (literally the whole church seemed to be in the choir...)
I did touch upon his faith in my Eulogy. But I wanted to paint a complete picture of who he was, including the time he made anatomically correct Snow-women on the front lawn...
My Mom's service was similar. She was spiritual, but not religious for most of her life. She was definitely a child of the 60s with interests in natural healing, crystals, Reflexology and I still remember the pungent smell of Kombucha mushroom tea fermenting in the pantry. The sermon was all about her deep faith in the cookie cutter evangelical faith and did not at all reflect her views. Again, my eulogy did focus on her search for faith, but that was a small part. She was empathetic in a way I have never seen. She was sweet and quirky, but had a fierce love for anyone in need. A love that inspired me, although we drove each other absolutely crazy.
But I didn't notice the spin until it came to my ex-mother-in-law and her service. This was my first Eulogy as a humanist. I wrote it out knowing that 95% of the people there would be from the church I used to attend. But I didn't write it for them. I wrote it for my ex-wife and her family including her father who was sitting near me. I wrote it to bring out her humanity and her struggle as part of a collective struggle. To draw on each other and find common bond in our journeys. I tried to make people laugh with my anecdotes and stories and smile to think of her as a person. Not the object of a preacher's altar call.
I knew I did my job when one woman from the church looked me in the eye after (she knew I had left the church) and said "I hope you took what the pastor said to heart. And I hope you repent." I smiled, Yes! I had done my job. I had cut through the false feeling of peace that some people had to make them face the sweet memory of this mother, wife, grandmother, aunt, sister and friend. I had reached her humanity! It was their chance to recruit followers by casting a shadow on the grave. It was my chance to turn to the people there and remind them that a grave is waiting for everyone of every faith. What is important is the memories we made, the people we touched, the connections that we made, not the post-mortem shadow.
It was a wonderful feeling to break through the proselytizing. When I was a Christian, I felt cheated out of the chance to mourn by the focus on God's justice, love and his will. I had to quickly "be ok with it" and move right on to sharing the gospel. But I wasn't ok with either of my parent's death. I wasn't ok at all. I wanted to cry, I wanted to remember! I wanted to be human and think about who each person was and build a dam of memories against the onslaught of time. I had lost something along with others that were close to them. I wanted time to weep before it became an advertisement.
None of these preachers are hustlers or bad people. Each had a profound influence on me as a person. But funerals should not be about telling a person they will end up like the deceased and they need to deal with that... just my opinion, of course!
Monday, April 15, 2019
Thunder
The house shook and the sound was deafening. It rang out in the air with reverberation, it's own presence and fury.
I hated thunder. I started to cry, covering my ears. The sound was not a rumble, but an attack! A whip sound splicing the air like the lightning that preceded it.
God is love/Fear the Lord
Its ironic that this thunderstorm would be exactly how I viewed the wrath of God. Now I can consider that this must have been a thought in early Hunter Gatherer's minds as they sorted out what it was and what was "God." It was also ironic that this storm happened the day before I left for the summer camp which would lead to my conversion.
I was frightened. But not of lightning. No, I didn't even notice it except to listen for the thunder.
I was always told about God's love, like it was in a picture bible with God holding a lamb and rainbows and smiling faces. But... This wrath was a problem. Personified in thunder I tried to sort it out over 16 years. Hell was the ever present reality we were trying to save people from. A hell made by a loving God. A torture chamber which he lay the bricks in and smoothed the walls. No less sadistic than a horror movie. Fire and gnashing of teeth and punishment.
It is for your own good! Did you want him to create robots? Free will. Oh so beautiful free will!
In the end, arguments attempted to sway. I heard thunder, and found somewhere to hide. A natural reaction despite assurance of salvation. And it fit into the patriarchal fear and respect theme of the bible. But I still cried every time.
Until today.
I heard the rumble far off, so I sat up and watched fresh sheets of rain come from Marblehead and darken Salem harbor. From the 6th floor of my apartment I can see for a few miles. A mist curled all over the federal era chimney tops and they became phantoms.
A flash of lightning and a pause. Then a slow rumble. Like a timpani.
Music. And art. Shades of light. No malice or hate behind it. Just elemental expression.
Then a crack of thunder that shook the building, echoed far off. Different than I ever heard. Sharp but only a reflection of elemental forces, natural laws. No intrinsic harm or anger.
Just sound.
Beautiful sound.
I closed my eyes and smiled. Listening as if for the first time!
Friday, April 12, 2019
Stop hating on positive thinking
My heart raced as I scanned the cafeteria. It was a Tuesday. My only friend had a different lunch. So I sat alone. I spread out my book bag to make it look like I was saving a spot.
Junior high was hell. I kept my greasy hair down and tried to write. I tried to do anything except look around.
Every night I dreamt of popularity, of talking to my crush. I desperately tried to scrub the acne off my face and find clothes that would be in style.
I was scared to death... Of everything.
In May of my 8th grade year, a group started a bible study after school. I had gone to church with my sister so I was interested.
"Is this... Is this the bible study?"
A few students welcomed me with bright smiles and appreciation. It was like I automatically found my niche!
I would see them in the hall and smile. I would see them in church and build relationships. A small group of friends, but a wonderful one!
The previous 2 years I had spent in regular teenage angst and a hormonal see-saw. I knew I was dealing with a form of depression but I was scared to come forward.
But now there was an issue. I was being told my principle problem was not depression or self esteem. It was not chemical or social or psychological. It was sin.
A previous post mentioned my conversion decision after seeing the spectral hand of Satan and Jesus taking my place in a play. My problem in life was not depression. In fact, the reason I was depressed? It was sin, again.
Discipline, thought harnessing, persistent confession and bible study would fill me with joy.
Happiness? That's not important. It is temporary. Joy is only possible with filling of the spirit. Denial of self and filling up with Christ.
I tried so hard.
I hated myself more and more. My sin nature, my weakness, my inability to please God and be disciplined.
Through a difficult marriage, I went through the motions, never caring about my own needs or caring about my future. I didn't see myself in 2 years, 10 years... In old age. All I saw was pain and pointlessness.
I saw a world headed to destruction and although I was heading to heaven, life and after life had little meaning.
Nothing felt beautiful. Relationships were weak. I hated what I looked like and who I was.
And I got to that same point as when I was 14, unable to see any future and hoping I would be gone.
Depression... Real and true clinical depression. Now divorced, I was feeling guilt for dating, feeling dirty for wanting closeness and being told I was sinning.
This was the start of that perfect storm. I started therapy, started medication. I started my academic journey and my journey towards atheism.
I wrote out notes to myself. Affirmations! Inspirational quotes. I did meditation. Positive self esteem messages.
And I started to heal.
To be in love with myself. To feel happy that I know myself! To enjoy the sound of my voice, the look of my face. I found value in the person I am!
And I validated my journey! I was proud of myself. Proud as a dad and as a friend!
I could see myself in my kid's lives in 5 years and myself traveling! Getting tattoos, trying new things!
You can't talk about that
Let me tell you a Conservative Christian Love Story
"And then, after waiting and having no sexual thoughts for each other, they went through a courtship, held hands and had a lengthy engagement and finally got to fulfill the desires that they weren't supposed to have before marriage. And despite perhaps not being compatible... they lived happily ever after and finally didn't have to feel guilty."
Its actually a better bedtime story than genocide or human sacrifice... Gotta give them some credit!
It is time we talked about the elephant in the room. Sex.
...but this is a blog about skepticism and history? Why am I going there?
Because it's a big problem. Its a major issue in the evangelical church. And I lived through the purity movement and "I kissed Dating Goodbye" debacle. And I know how much the church focuses on "Bronze age" sexual morality. Not only that, but the equivalent view on women, marriage and reprimanding mistakes.
Remember, the bible is the inspired word of an almighty, all-knowing, ever present being (masculine.)
Except... we have major problems. For instance, Biblical marriage is not just "one man and one woman" but rather, one man and "x" amount of wives and as many concubines he can support. Rape is ok as long as the man is willing to marry the woman. If he isn't, she'll be stoned to death. No test for male sexual purity, but many cultures today still put out the bed sheets after the first night to make sure there is blood...
Even the basic premise of menstruation as an "unclean" state shows the complete patriarchal bias. Same sex attraction? Well, should we just play footage of people getting consumed by fire and brimstone? And tie it to the attempted rape of angels?
*sigh*
Divorce? Only with certain criteria.
Abuse? well, a husband can't actually "rape" his wife... (still in the law books of some states.)
*sigh*
This doesn't look like a health textbook... because it isn't. Because it is a collection of writings from a different time! Because it is not something to live your life by!
Nothing causes more guilt and hurt that the area of sexual thoughts. That's my humble opinion. There is nothing more personal to a person than THIS area. And there's nothing that is more hardwired to our psychology!
Christian writers have declared that this is the battlefield of the mind, every man's battle... and its causing more pain than they could ever know. Because they are right (did I just say that) it is a battlefield if you are trying to play "thought police."
Its the basic principle of Christianity. Its not just the act of having sex with another person. Its thinking about it. Its acting anything out in your mind. That's sin.
Sinning against? Oh, I got this: God, your future oppositely-gendered spouse, your parents (probably) and also against the purity of that other person. Because thoughts... lead to... rape? Sex? adultery?
Well, I mean they could. But they could also just be... thoughts!
_________________________________________________________
How about a new bedtime story: "Once upon a time, two young people dated. They had protected sex, went out for ice cream, each masturbated, no kittens were killed. They decided they were incompatible and life went on. Maybe they'll marry someone... who knows... the end!"
Ah, that was a better story!
"And then, after waiting and having no sexual thoughts for each other, they went through a courtship, held hands and had a lengthy engagement and finally got to fulfill the desires that they weren't supposed to have before marriage. And despite perhaps not being compatible... they lived happily ever after and finally didn't have to feel guilty."
Its actually a better bedtime story than genocide or human sacrifice... Gotta give them some credit!
It is time we talked about the elephant in the room. Sex.
...but this is a blog about skepticism and history? Why am I going there?
Because it's a big problem. Its a major issue in the evangelical church. And I lived through the purity movement and "I kissed Dating Goodbye" debacle. And I know how much the church focuses on "Bronze age" sexual morality. Not only that, but the equivalent view on women, marriage and reprimanding mistakes.
Remember, the bible is the inspired word of an almighty, all-knowing, ever present being (masculine.)
Except... we have major problems. For instance, Biblical marriage is not just "one man and one woman" but rather, one man and "x" amount of wives and as many concubines he can support. Rape is ok as long as the man is willing to marry the woman. If he isn't, she'll be stoned to death. No test for male sexual purity, but many cultures today still put out the bed sheets after the first night to make sure there is blood...
Even the basic premise of menstruation as an "unclean" state shows the complete patriarchal bias. Same sex attraction? Well, should we just play footage of people getting consumed by fire and brimstone? And tie it to the attempted rape of angels?
*sigh*
Divorce? Only with certain criteria.
Abuse? well, a husband can't actually "rape" his wife... (still in the law books of some states.)
*sigh*
This doesn't look like a health textbook... because it isn't. Because it is a collection of writings from a different time! Because it is not something to live your life by!
Nothing causes more guilt and hurt that the area of sexual thoughts. That's my humble opinion. There is nothing more personal to a person than THIS area. And there's nothing that is more hardwired to our psychology!
Christian writers have declared that this is the battlefield of the mind, every man's battle... and its causing more pain than they could ever know. Because they are right (did I just say that) it is a battlefield if you are trying to play "thought police."
Its the basic principle of Christianity. Its not just the act of having sex with another person. Its thinking about it. Its acting anything out in your mind. That's sin.
Sinning against? Oh, I got this: God, your future oppositely-gendered spouse, your parents (probably) and also against the purity of that other person. Because thoughts... lead to... rape? Sex? adultery?
Well, I mean they could. But they could also just be... thoughts!
_________________________________________________________
How about a new bedtime story: "Once upon a time, two young people dated. They had protected sex, went out for ice cream, each masturbated, no kittens were killed. They decided they were incompatible and life went on. Maybe they'll marry someone... who knows... the end!"
Ah, that was a better story!
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Each domino falling
I had put this off for far too long...
I had started my history degree and tried to avoid taking any Ancient History classes. Or Biology classes. (for science, I took forestry and can identify about a dozen trees.)
M.A.D - Maple, Ash and Dogwood... the only trees that branched oppositely. (Most are alternating.)
I knew that the next inquiry would teeter my faith towards belief or unbelief. I had the opportunity to legitimately look into the validity of the bible through my college library. I also wanted to step into the realm of science and get a crash course of the basics and the evidence for evolution.
Oh how dangerous! What a secret life I was living!
Each Domino fell in a line... no archeological evidence for Moses or the exodus... no evidence of the conquest of Canaan,.. No extra-biblical evidence of Israel until the period of the Kings. And not only that, but thousands of pre-5th Millennia BC sites all over the globe showing a slow development of Homo Sapiens. Magnificent cave murals with creatures that are now extinct. Tools around the globe that showed each stage of sophistication.
In science I took time to learn about evolution and transitional fossils (that I was told didn't exist.) I learned about plate tectonics and the layers of the earth that were created over eons. The formation of rocks and the movement of glaciers to carve the continents. I learned why Darwin came to the conclusions that he did and it had nothing to do with a "anti-God conspiracy." He was following evidence and being skeptical!
Just like identifying trees by branching pattern, I could plainly see the pattern across the board in terms of science.
Meanwhile, in history I was learning about sources and discussing ancient manuscripts. And it hit me again. People excuse the supernatural events of the bible, but would not in Greek legends. We recopy the Sermon on the Mount as word for word but we also realize that this is a literary oratory tool and can't be word for word. Miracle stories, manuscript problems that would deter any person from taking other works seriously were dismissed as "not a problem."
Like a dam bursting, I felt my whole world flood down the river. It was a complete reworking of my world view. And the dominoes kept falling.
They had to keep falling.
Anti-LGBTQ perspectives, misogynistic texts, pro-slavery, haunting tales of genocide and cultural and religious superiority.
Now they were part of history and had a context. Not a spot on the top shelf of my mind.
My journey into atheism went straight through history and basic science.
And I had still never met a single atheist.
I had started my history degree and tried to avoid taking any Ancient History classes. Or Biology classes. (for science, I took forestry and can identify about a dozen trees.)
M.A.D - Maple, Ash and Dogwood... the only trees that branched oppositely. (Most are alternating.)
I knew that the next inquiry would teeter my faith towards belief or unbelief. I had the opportunity to legitimately look into the validity of the bible through my college library. I also wanted to step into the realm of science and get a crash course of the basics and the evidence for evolution.
Oh how dangerous! What a secret life I was living!
Each Domino fell in a line... no archeological evidence for Moses or the exodus... no evidence of the conquest of Canaan,.. No extra-biblical evidence of Israel until the period of the Kings. And not only that, but thousands of pre-5th Millennia BC sites all over the globe showing a slow development of Homo Sapiens. Magnificent cave murals with creatures that are now extinct. Tools around the globe that showed each stage of sophistication.
In science I took time to learn about evolution and transitional fossils (that I was told didn't exist.) I learned about plate tectonics and the layers of the earth that were created over eons. The formation of rocks and the movement of glaciers to carve the continents. I learned why Darwin came to the conclusions that he did and it had nothing to do with a "anti-God conspiracy." He was following evidence and being skeptical!
Just like identifying trees by branching pattern, I could plainly see the pattern across the board in terms of science.
Meanwhile, in history I was learning about sources and discussing ancient manuscripts. And it hit me again. People excuse the supernatural events of the bible, but would not in Greek legends. We recopy the Sermon on the Mount as word for word but we also realize that this is a literary oratory tool and can't be word for word. Miracle stories, manuscript problems that would deter any person from taking other works seriously were dismissed as "not a problem."
Like a dam bursting, I felt my whole world flood down the river. It was a complete reworking of my world view. And the dominoes kept falling.
They had to keep falling.
Anti-LGBTQ perspectives, misogynistic texts, pro-slavery, haunting tales of genocide and cultural and religious superiority.
Now they were part of history and had a context. Not a spot on the top shelf of my mind.
My journey into atheism went straight through history and basic science.
And I had still never met a single atheist.
The captivity of the Mind
I couldn't shake the image on the screen.
I would look up and start crying. Repeat. Again and again.
The sinewy hand and jagged fingers of Satan holding the marionette strings to my helpless body. The other shadowy hand was pumping me with a needle.
I was 16 and had worked the summer at a Christian camp in upstate New York. And I was scared to death. I had just watched a play about a recovering addict who had become a Christian. The "reality" of Satan and the guilt of my own sin was palpable. The next image was Jesus taking my place and being tortured by Satan. Then beating him, triumphantly!
I felt so awful about who I was... despondent that I was even allowed to live.
Guilt...
Loved, but so dirty.
And it was all in my mind. It was all due to internalizing a message until it felt true! Worse than that, I realized that it played on my clinical depression and my already tattered self-esteem. The only self-esteem I built in my faith was that yes, I was disgusting and incapable. But, less of me and more of him!
Filling a vacuum with praising an imaginary person. I realized I had no identity outside of the caricature I created in my faith in God.
Who was I?
Where was my voice? My personality? My passion?
Slowly, as my theistic delusion melted away with skeptic-minded research and inquiry, a true self emerged! Along with clinical mental health therapy and medication, I found my way out of captivity!
And I really liked the person I found inside.
I like the way I think rationally and use my sarcasm and wit. I like the compassion I have for others with no religious strings attached.
I like thinking out loud and having my mind as the bastion of my own thoughts! No guilt or though-police. My sanctuary and home!
I am excited to share this blog with people because skepticism and inquiry helped me crawl out of the captivity that my own mind created around the dogma of the bible. I'm excited to discuss how historical inquiry helped with that and I'm excited to hear what path other people found out of Religion!
I would look up and start crying. Repeat. Again and again.
The sinewy hand and jagged fingers of Satan holding the marionette strings to my helpless body. The other shadowy hand was pumping me with a needle.
I was 16 and had worked the summer at a Christian camp in upstate New York. And I was scared to death. I had just watched a play about a recovering addict who had become a Christian. The "reality" of Satan and the guilt of my own sin was palpable. The next image was Jesus taking my place and being tortured by Satan. Then beating him, triumphantly!
I felt so awful about who I was... despondent that I was even allowed to live.
Guilt...
Loved, but so dirty.
And it was all in my mind. It was all due to internalizing a message until it felt true! Worse than that, I realized that it played on my clinical depression and my already tattered self-esteem. The only self-esteem I built in my faith was that yes, I was disgusting and incapable. But, less of me and more of him!
Filling a vacuum with praising an imaginary person. I realized I had no identity outside of the caricature I created in my faith in God.
Who was I?
Where was my voice? My personality? My passion?
Slowly, as my theistic delusion melted away with skeptic-minded research and inquiry, a true self emerged! Along with clinical mental health therapy and medication, I found my way out of captivity!
And I really liked the person I found inside.
I like the way I think rationally and use my sarcasm and wit. I like the compassion I have for others with no religious strings attached.
I like thinking out loud and having my mind as the bastion of my own thoughts! No guilt or though-police. My sanctuary and home!
I am excited to share this blog with people because skepticism and inquiry helped me crawl out of the captivity that my own mind created around the dogma of the bible. I'm excited to discuss how historical inquiry helped with that and I'm excited to hear what path other people found out of Religion!
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Healthy skepticism : laying it all out
My earliest descendant was the town grave digger in the colonial town of Roxbury. That's the only thing I know about this man who died in 1688.
He would have been alive to hear his pastor, John Elliot, discuss his translation of the bible into the Algonquin language.
It sounds ridiculous, but as an Evangelical Christian, why wasn't Algonquin a lot like Hebrew? Why weren't the tales vaguely familiar? Many early puritans believed that these must be Israel's "lost tribes!"
Quick questions like this are easy fodder for tech savvy Creationists and you can search it quick online and get plenty of hits.
It's embarrassing to even admit it... I wondered aloud how the animals and the people got from the ark to America.
I was a 32 year old Christian in my 2nd year of college studying American History. And I was willfully ignorant.
I was also fighting depression and scared to death of how sin-sick I was.
I desperately wanted to know how the world really worked and connect my journey to the simple lives of past sojourners. Slowly, carefully, meticulously, I used skepticism to challenge my every belief and assumption.
History, critical thinking and mental health led me away from the Evangelical church! I had felt like a patient curled up in a hospital bed with a terminal illness. The world was in greyscale and I was despondent.
Then I rose up, breathing fresh air. Colors burst around me and I was a cured man!
This is my blog to discuss my skepticism and also how history was paramount to my rebirth with a secular humanist mindset.
If you are a Christian, I hope you can identify with the struggle and please challenge me! If you are an agnostic or atheist, a former evangelical, let's share and celebrate inquiry and free thought!
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